Big birthday in probable lockdown

[SadBirthdayGirl]

More of a WWYD or what have you done?

For my 18th I was in an abusive relationship and locked in the house, for my 21st the person I lived with passed away a week before and family planned the funeral on my birthday, I was still in a toxic situation AND I was pregnant.

Then for my wedding I eloped thinking it was to be romantic, but it turned out it was because he was ashamed and hadn’t told anyone, not even his family, so no party or cake just straight home in the car and watch TV

I’m 30 in January and all I’d ever dreamed of was a party, or a holiday, just wanted to be one of those people who get surprised by people that care on a main life event. I’m not even fussed about “normal” birthdays but I just wanted something to truly remember this time.

Now I know AIBU in a sense that it isn’t important and there’s so much worse things going on... but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. And although lockdown isn’t promised I know the world won’t be back to “normal”.

How have you celebrated big birthdays with everything that’s going on at the moment? Or do you have any ideas that would help me feel less upset about this? I hope this all doesn’t sound too “woe is me” I just wanted to paint a picture of why it feels so important to me

I would not plan anything for January other than perhaps to arrange the day off from work. Indeed I have the last week of January off even though the event I would like to go to is likely to be cancelled.

Something last minute and local would probably be all you can plan for.

I have a big birthday in early January, was supposed to be going on a trip of a lifetime with my DH and kids. It’s been a tough couple of years and not the best month for a birthday. Cancelled already. Like you I am feeling very disappointed, and somewhat annoyed. Not even hopeful the pub or restaurant will be open, it’ll be another takeaway at home on a cold dreary day. No ideas how you can feel less upset, only watching for ideas as I feel similar.

I was 40 last Tuesday I got new jammies and a chippy that is life at the moment x

Had my 40th just before first lockdown restrictions were lifted.

Was wine, cake, takeaway and party with the kids.

DP's 40th next weekend (and eldest DC birthday too). Will be exactly the same.

Big birthday here too end Dec.. say be cake with the dh and kids

I was 40 last month living in a Tier 3 area so not able to do anything social at all. DH and DC got me a lovely cake and balloons and my colleagues organised a surprise delivery of presents to my house. Was a lovely day. I had very low expectations given the circumstances so it was a huge surpise they were exceeded! I wouldn't focus on the day itself, but maybe think about what you can do over the course of the whole year and then just take opportunities as and when you can

15 years ago my father died and it was his funeral on my birthday. 5 years ago my mother was terminally ill and died just after my birthday. 3 years ago my stepson died just after my birthday. Last year my father in law died just before my birthday. This year I had a big birthday and covid. My birthday is obviously VERY unlucky! However, on my birthday this year my husband went to a lot of effort to get me just the right present. He has looked after me all day. He ordered my favourite takeaway for a celebratory meal and I had a lovely virtual chat with my children. I had a lovely day without too much fuss and stress. We were meant to be going away on holiday, but I can say I enjoyed my 'special' day just staying at home. We have saved money by not going away this year - so maybe we can have an extra special holiday next year instead.

Had my 30th during lockdown, was supposed to have a big birthday/baby shower bash since I was 8 months pregnant on my birthday. Just had presents at home and bought myself a birthday cake, which I ate for breakfast. Just do something nice for yourself, once things are more normal there will be plenty of celebrations and parties, everyone has events they've missed to make up for so it'll be a celebration like no other!

We have/had a half dozen big birthdays in our family this year. Had booked out a pub to celebrate them all. On 27th March...

Hoping to reconvene for my aunt's 100th next November.

Sorry your milestone birthdays have been crap OP. If It's any consolation I had to wait until 50 before I had a great celebration.

My 30th I had a 6 month-old baby and a muppet of a husband (now ex) so did pretty much naff all. Breastfeeding so couldn't really drink.

I turn 40 in a few weeks' time and I have another 6 month-old baby (with a decent bloke - yay!) so can't really drink again and in the middle of a lockdown.

I definitely won't have just had another baby for my 50th though!!

I've got a hig birthday coming up in lockdown.

I'm going to stay in my pjs, watch shite tv and eat my favourite dessert all day

And then go on a nice holiday or something when covid is over.

I think the key at the moment is to plan nothing and expect nothing and any tiny little thing you can do to cheer yourself up, be it online shopping, relaxing in the bath with a magazine, taking the day off work while kids are in nursery etc is a bonus

Turned 50 during oir version of lockdown. Had a crab boil and went jet skiing. Very normal weekend day bit with added cake. Its was perfect

Had big birthday in summer.
No one gave a toss.
Immediate family didn’t even call.
Wouldn’t mind but it’s always me who makes a fuss of everyone else’s bdays

OP you can't rely on others because you'll end up disappointed so book a holiday or a spa weekend and go by yourself and relax for the weekend

I was 30 in May.
My oldest turned 6 early July. My youngest is about to turn 3 end of November.
My mum turned 60, as did my mother in law Late march.
My grandma turned 80, and had her 60 year wedding anniversary in June.
We also missed out on 4 weddings, 3 funerals for beloved family members and my Father in law retired in March.
All together this year has been crap for celebrations!!

I had a special holiday and two other trips planned for my big birthday in the early summer.

Did nothing. Not even a meal out was possible at that time, or visit to parents.

Planning on doing it all a year late.

OP - could you look at the whole of 2021 as your 30th celebration year? A January date makes that seem logical. Have the party in the summer when hopefully things will be easier?

But it sucks.

I turned 60 two weeks into the first lock down. Was miserable and alone😕

So far:
I’ve turned 50
Dd2 turned 16
Dd1 was 18

Dd 2 missed her GCSE’s her prom and her last day of school
Dd3 left primary and started secondary in a bubble

Yeah it’s been hard but I’m currently recovering from COVID so it could have been worse