To think that, unless you know the kitchen they were made in is very clean, homemade edible gifts go straight in the bin

[Bearbehind]

Especially this year

Given we’re sanitising things we touch and are ultra conscious about the spread of germs etc - AIBU to think that if you get edible gifts from someone’s who’s kitchen you either don’t know or don’t think is very clean - you’d just bin it?

I’m not saying you can catch Covid from the food but it’s the principle of not knowing how hygenic stuff is

I’m not a fan of homemade gifts at the best of times - I think a sort of rule should be that unless your homemade items are good enough to sell for actual money, then please don’t do it

No one is going to admit they binned it but I do hope those who would make homemade edible gifts, especially for teachers, this year think twice

@StillStriving

But it's the thoughtlessness, not the homemade-ness that matters in that case.

The idea that generally people making home made gifts generally don't give a shit about whether the recipient wants it (purely because it's homemade) and are somehow doing it for their own gain is a view I can't get my head around.

Yeah but it's true though.

Even on here you have people talking about their truffles, gin, whatever. And it always 'seems' well-received. Or they've never had any complaints from all the people they gift them to...

So it's not like they've gone around and found out each individual's preferences and catered a gift to that. They've just made something they think is great, or that they enjoy doing and given it away.

There's nothing wrong with that but it's not selfless or any kinder or more loving than buying something that is catered to a specific person. That's all I'm saying.

So in most cases it is more about the giver because it's something they choose to make that people either happen to love or are too polite to say it's not really their cup of tea.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like chocolate truffles. I have two friends who start asking in October when mine are arriving.

I’m sure there are people who don’t like sloe gin, but I struggle to get my head around it

What's to say any kitchen is up to the required standard?

I worked in a kitchen part time when I was at college and we got told at least a week in advance when the quality inspectors were coming which resulted in huge amounts of cleaning

Always seemed odd getting told in advance

OhCaptain, if we were into mass gift-giving, which we aren't, I might well go down the home-made gift route if I was expecting to see all the recipients in the run up to Christmas, as then I could hand over gifts personally rather than consign them to the post.

Thinking about the people I know well enough to want to give gifts to, I also know them well enough to know who doesn't drink alcohol, who hates onions, who can't eat gluten or dairy, who's a vegetarian, who's got eczema or asthma, and so on. If gift-givers ignore all that knowledge they have about their friends and family, and just give something that suits them to give without considering whether the recipient can/will be able to use it, that's selfish. That applies whether the gift is home-made or not.

@flaviaritt

Actually, I feel really sad for a kid making and giving a present to their teacher and then the present going in the bin. Just say no presents if that’s your decision.

This. Please don't accept homemade gifts if youre going to bin it.

Not accepting a gift from a child is way worse than quietly binning it!

@OhCaptain

Not accepting a gift from a child is way worse than quietly binning it!

Depends how you do it. You could at least offer it to someone else rather than throwing it away. I suspect the blasé way we throw food away will be a thing of the past before long.

Well yes but offering it elsewhere isn't the same as refusing to take it from a child.

I am not at all fussy about homemade things, but I would still be slightly alarmed (and maybe a little offended!) if a teacher friend of mine told me that they had some food from a child that they wouldn't eat because they didn't think it was fit for their consumption but would I like it?!

They wouldn’t tell you that, would they?

Oh the heady heights of the DM - do journalists seriously get paid for copy and pasting threads from MN? 🤔

Two things intrigue me from recent posts

• Why do some adults find the need to give other adults gifts even when one side says ‘please don’t get me anything’ - as someone else said, if people say they don’t want gifts, it doesn’t mean they want something homemade. We know it isn’t always the cheap option and, if you’re short of money many of us would far rather you keep what you have for things you need

• Does anyone really make homemade gifts tailored to every recipient? Ie, plum jam for Auntie Mabel, marmalade for your Dad, knitted gloves for your niece, a patchwork quilt for your gran - or do you find something you like doing and either make the same for everyone or slightly tweak it so everyone gets a variation on a theme

@Bearbehind

Oh the heady heights of the DM - do journalists seriously get paid for copy and pasting threads from MN? 🤔

Two things intrigue me from recent posts

• Why do some adults find the need to give other adults gifts even when one side says ‘please don’t get me anything’ - as someone else said, if people say they don’t want gifts, it doesn’t mean they want something homemade. We know it isn’t always the cheap option and, if you’re short of money many of us would far rather you keep what you have for things you need

• Does anyone really make homemade gifts tailored to every recipient? Ie, plum jam for Auntie Mabel, marmalade for your Dad, knitted gloves for your niece, a patchwork quilt for your gran - or do you find something you like doing and either make the same for everyone or slightly tweak it so everyone gets a variation on a theme

I don't do many food type gifts anymore as they just put too much pressure on at Christmas, but I do Taylor gifts to the individual. For example my mum always wanted to try the sloe gin my grandad made but she's allergic to gin. I make her sloe vodka, which she loves. But only make enough for her as others prefer sloe gin. My dad suffers from poor circulation now and told me he wishes he could have proper woollen socks - so I knit these for him. He asks for them every year now.

It's the same with anyone else I make gifts for, it's tailored for what they like. Even my kids get a few handmade things, which are tailored to them.

I make scented candles and give to my friends. Because of my past derogatory comments about home made gifts I imagine some of you are thinking ah - you do the same thing but I think it's different because a) if I give at Christmas, it's in addition to their purchased gift, b) I make them because my friends ask me to and I also give throughout the year. They not only request specific scents but also strength of scent - not everyone likes their house to stink but prefer a more subtle scent.

PS I hate sloe gin because I hate gin. I've fortunately never heard of my favourite, malt whisky, being ruined by being filled with stuff, thank goodness.

"
But the people who throw a load of berries into a bottle of gin, or make truffles or whatever - I think they feel good showing off what they perceive to be their talent (fair enough) but the person enjoying it or not doesn’t really come in to it!"

What a load of bullshit.
I make chocolate truffles. As with any gift it is partly due to the pleasure of giving. But I do it because I genuinely believe they will be enjoyed. Otherwise it's a bloody chore to be honest and I have other things to do. Nor do I want to show off any talent. Chocolate truffles do not require talent. Just a some time really. And I think time is one of the most valuable gift one can give. It's easy to buy some crap in the shop. Much more meaningful to spend some time making something you believe will be enjoyed. People have been asking for my truffles year after year and commenting positively so I can only assume most of them genuinely enjoy them.

Oh the heady heights of the DM - do journalists seriously get paid for copy and pasting threads from MN?

Obv there isn't enough interesting stuff happening in the world these days.

I feel really sad for a kid making and giving a present to their teacher and then the present going in the bin.

One Christmas many years ago I gave a teacher a bookshop gift certificate, enclosed in a Christmas card, in an envelope.

DD1 had to return to the classroom after 3 o'clock to retrieve her watch from her desk. The custodian let us into the classroom. There in the bin I spotted the distinctive envelope, unopened, along with other unopened cards. DD saw the envelope too, unfortunately.

I fished it out and used the gift cert for a nice bookshop gift for DD.

@oblada it’s not bullshit just because you don’t agree with it.

Nor is shop bought stuff all “crap” just because you think making truffles is superior to buying some.

No OP I wouldn’t bin it.

And even if I didn’t really like whatever it was I would still try it. Not that I receive home made things much

Well, not only do I not agree with your comments Ohcaptain, I think they're completely incorrect and do not reflect the majority of people making/receiving home made gits.
Making truffles is definitely, in my view, better than buying some. From an environmental point of view. And financially for me (unless I want to buy v cheap stuff, and therefore crap indeed).

Making truffles is definitely, in my view, better than buying some. From an environmental point of view. And financially for me

I disagree, I’d prefer shop bought as can see the ingredients, know they have been made in a factory and I can see the expiry date. I wouldn’t eat home made ones so definitely not environmentally friendly as they would go to waste.

Financially it suits you but that doesn’t mean the gift is given with the recipient in mind given it’s done in bulk for cost reasons.

I’d prefer shop bought as can see the ingredients, know they have been made in a factory and I can see the expiry date.

This is so tragic, I can’t even. We have lost any natural, straightforward relationship with food.

@mathanxiety

I feel really sad for a kid making and giving a present to their teacher and then the present going in the bin.

One Christmas many years ago I gave a teacher a bookshop gift certificate, enclosed in a Christmas card, in an envelope.

DD1 had to return to the classroom after 3 o'clock to retrieve her watch from her desk. The custodian let us into the classroom. There in the bin I spotted the distinctive envelope, unopened, along with other unopened cards. DD saw the envelope too, unfortunately.

I fished it out and used the gift cert for a nice bookshop gift for DD.

That's appalling. The teacher not you

@TheKeatingFive

I’d prefer shop bought as can see the ingredients, know they have been made in a factory and I can see the expiry date.

This is so tragic, I can’t even. We have lost any natural, straightforward relationship with food.

I know. My home made truffles contain dark chocolate, cream and a hefty slug of booze and dusted with cocoa powder. That’s it - no preservatives, no E numbers, no artificial anything. They’re made in a clean kitchen with clean utensils with refrigerated ingredients.

Their factory manufactured equivalent are full of artificial flavourings, colourings and preservatives. They keep for months, whereas mine have to be refrigerated and eaten within days so they’re fresher.

It’s fucking lunacy. The 21st century is bonkers.