When is the right time to leave my husband

[cheeseychovolate]

Hi. My marriage is rubbish and has been for three years. My husband works full time, I work part time. He does nothing around the house. He suffers with migraine but no medication is working and is going back to bed for 4 out of 7 days, sometimes all day sometimes just a few hours. I've had enough, every thing is left to me to do, it wouldn't be so bad if when he was ok he pulled his weight. If I'm lucky I get one lie in a week but then when I get up he goes back to bed. He gets up half an hour before work on week days if he's ok, he never helps in the morning, There's no physical relationship. I want to leave but I need a bit of time to sort things out. I'm so worried about the effect it'll have on my children, one is 15 the other 5. Has anyone left their husband with children this age?

Yes. 9 year age gap.

Get on and do it. Get all of yourselves therapy. That is so so important. I wish you all the best.

You mentioned the migraines.....does he actually suffer from cluster headaches? This would explain why medication isn't working. This may also explain his absence in your relationship.

Obviously, I don't know all the ins and outs from your post, but marriage is meant to be a lasting commitment, in sickness and in health and all that. Walking out on him because he's ill seems a little cruel. I am prepared to be flamed by everyone on this but thought it needed saying.

I would speak to him..your marriage deserves that. What do you have to lose if your original plan is to just up and leave. Speak to him. He may change or open up about something he hasn't been open with. Worth the conversation and a period of trying to work on it for your childrens sake.

His ‘headaches’ sound very convenient for him to check out have a nice lie in and be a lazy twat. You deserve better. He will only get worse I’m afraid.

Does he have any idea you are unhappy? Would he try marriage counselling? Would you both consider paying for private treatment for his migraines?

What medication has he tried and if nothing is working what does his GP suggest?

How does he cope with work if he's in bed with them all the time?

If he is still managing work then he must be ok....I would think it unlikely that he has a headache that is ok while at work but bas as soon as he is home.

The right time is now, I can't see what you would gain from waiting.