Does anyone else feel a bit like this?
I've had a group of friends for many years, since school in fact. I'm the only one with children. When my DC were small, one of them looked after eldest DC a couple of times for me. The others never did (either couldn't cope with children or don't like them - fair enough). That's pretty much the only things I can think of they have done for me over the last 20 years. However I've spent months helping one of them do up their house to sell (no money so couldn't afford to pay anyone and couldn't manage it herself), many weekends helping another one get herself out of a financial pickle/ helping her access support and advice, and most recently many weekends to another in the group who was/ is a chronic hoarder and was being rehoused so had to have a clear out.
I've helped because they asked, because I could see they needed the help and couldn't have managed on their own. I didn't do it in the expectation of help back.
However I've not heard from any of them since the start of lockdown, indeed the friend I helped most recently I haven't heard from since before Christmas. I've messaged her, no reply.
On reflection I don't really hear from any of them unless there's something they need help with or similar, that's often been the pattern and I don't think all the Covid stuff this year has really affected it, it's maybe just made me realise it.
I've possibly held on to this group as long because they're my oldest friendship group, and because other friendships have either been toxic (spiteful and bitchy to me, would mock me under the guise of jokes but it wasn't funny), or just never really developed to proper friendships - people I worked with, mum's at school etc who I get on well with but never see or speak to other than at work/ school or on organised nights out etc.
Anyway AIBU to feel this is a one way friendship and have stepped back from these friends ? If they contact me I'll be happy to hear from them but I'm not going to push it.