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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you own your house as tenants in common or joint tenants?

95 replies

PaddingtonStareBare · 07/11/2020 23:42

Curious really, as we've just served the joint tenancy on ours and had it changed to tenants in common.
We were having our wills done and we both wanted to be sure that our dc would inherit our 'half' should one of pass away, their inheritance then goes into trust until the surviving spouse passes away or downsizes. It was all done by the solicitors.

Is this a common thing to do? I just read so many stories about one parent passing away, then surviving parent remarries or changes the will so a new partner benefits leaving the DC with nothing :(

OP posts:

Bmidreams · 08/11/2020 08:19

Yes but I want me or dh to do what we want with our money. If he wants to jack it all in and sail round the world for ten years, then I want him to have his/our cash for that. The kids will have what's left when he dies. Our lifetimes money that we created is for us to enjoy. We'd both do everything for our kids anyway, but not want to be tied into this.

rocketspin · 08/11/2020 08:21

Neither, the house is mine and my DCs. Their inheritance is protected so nobody else can touch it.

FippertyGibbett · 08/11/2020 08:21

@Mummyoflittledragon

Joint tenants. If I die first, dh is supposed to immediately give a rental house to our dd. Am a bit nervous, he may forget...

Please get a will written. I have two situations in my family where someone promised to do the ‘right thing’ and they didn’t.

ToffeeAppleCaramel · 08/11/2020 08:26

We are tenants in common in unequal shares. We bought the house before we were married and DH had an inheritance which formed our deposit - we agreed he should get this back if we sold the house. A few years down the line, married and with a child now we would buy any new house as joint tenants but don’t feel strongly enough about it to change existing provisions. We do have wills and if we divorce I wouldn’t choose to make a claim on the share that was originally his inheritance anyway so am happy to leave it as is.

FudgeSundae · 08/11/2020 08:28

Correct me if I’m wrong, but this doesn’t happen just by being tenants in common? If you want to protect your half of the house for your kids but you have no Will then:

if you’re married, it will go to your DH on death as default.
if you’re not, it will go directly to your children but they could force a sale.

What you need to do to get the arrangement you describe is to make a Will that sets up an interest in possession trust to give your DH or OH the right of use of that half of the house until they die when your children get it. This is not especially cheap or easy and needs careful discussion with a solicitor.

Can someone tell me if I’m wrong? I’m not a lawyer but in a related profession and taken exams in trusts and inheritance law etc.

FippertyGibbett · 08/11/2020 08:39

It went in our wills that the remaining spouse could live in the house until they sold it. If didn’t need expensive solicitors bills, just the will.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/11/2020 08:42

We’re joint, but that was done ages ago.

If I pop off first, I think I trust dh (if he remarried) not to leave everything away from dds, but this is probably naive of me. He’d be horrified if he heard me say I didn’t 100% trust him, though!

One thing that certainly made me think - a horror story related by someone I know who had a widowed father with fairly early (and not officially diagnosed) dementia. Since he didn’t want to leave his own home, the family arranged a live-in carer to look after him.

Within a short time this woman alienated him from his formerly very close family, and apparently made him fearful even of seeing them. Not long afterwards she took him abroad, without informing the family, married him there, and then got him to change his will, leaving everything to her. He died not too long afterwards. And it was a substantial estate.

The family contested it - and lost. The woman was both clever and extremely plausible. The person who told me all this also firmly believed that she’s hastened his end - she was an ex nurse who’d have known how to do it.
Once dementia is involved, there are absolutely no guarantees.

Dopeyduck · 08/11/2020 08:43

DP and I are tenants in common - as we’re unmarried it makes the most legal sense.

We also have a legal agreement that DS inherits the house once we both pass away.

moronseverywhere1 · 08/11/2020 08:45

Joint, but as a pp says we started with nothing (teenage relationship), saved for the deposit together, so no blended family, we have joint children etc but I have to admit I really didn't give it much thought at all, sounds like it's the right thing for us but will definitely review more next time!

cptartapp · 08/11/2020 08:47

Tenants in common. Have been with DH for 30 years but my DC come first.

ChasingRainbows19 · 08/11/2020 08:50

Joint tenants. Not married no kids so happy for the other to inherit the house of the worse should happen.

moronseverywhere1 · 08/11/2020 08:51

Also to add, I think it's right the priority is me and my DH if one of us dies. I didn't buy a house to leave to my kids, if they get inheritance from us one day, which I'm sure they most likely will, great. But our house is about having a roof over each of our heads. Of course if the relationship breaks down that'll be a whole different story in how many manage the finances legally as they would be split and I'd want my kids to inherit not an ex, but for now as a married couple, it is right the finances passes on to the other spouse on the death of the other (for us). I've no doubt we'd each do right by the kids, but either way, that isn't the priority.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/11/2020 08:54

Following on from my horror story above, this is a very good reason why a widowed parent with suspected dementia should get an official diagnosis ASAP.

There are so many utterly unscrupulous people about. If the man in question had been officially diagnosed, I doubt very much that the so-called ‘carer’ would have got away with it.

Ethelswith · 08/11/2020 08:57

We own the house in unequal shares, because I put premarital flat equity into it.

We were married at time of purchase, and though I know that if we separate there are many things which can affect financial settlement. This is pretty strong evidence of intentions though

yoyo1234 · 08/11/2020 08:59

This is reminding me to 1) check we are tenants in common and 2) create a will leaving my share of property to our DC ( very happy for mirror wills). Not sure if life interest is something I am to bothered about as we have insurance policies made out to each other, would want a trust for DC not to get it until an appropriate age. Do not like our home so if DC want to sell no issue. Thinking 23 for access to money.

Catmummyof2 · 08/11/2020 09:01

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

TeaStory · 08/11/2020 09:03

Joint tenants.

Married, no children.

Kolo · 08/11/2020 09:06

Considering this at the moment as we are writing our wills. Like others have said, I want to make sure my children get what I want them to get, not what my husbands (potential) 2nd wife decides. Hadn't thought about the cost of care.

Bmidreams · 08/11/2020 09:07

@moronseverywhere1

I'm with you. Dh can remain in the home until he chooses to sell it, then it gets divided to dc??? No thanks!!! If he or I want to move house following the other's death then that is our right, and our bloody money!!! Nothing to do with the kids. What a mess to find yourself in when you're older (hopefully). What about that expensive round the world trip, or that luxury pad by the sea you always dreamed of? Suddenly your assets are cut in half and awarded to working children??

Bmidreams · 08/11/2020 09:08

@Catmummyof2, they'd only come after your share. You don't own the whole house so they couldn't force a sale.

Kolo · 08/11/2020 09:17

@Catmummyof2

I’ve seen protection from care home fees mentioned a few times - can someone please explain? We’re married, no kids, currently joint tenants as we assumed that was best for our circumstances - should we be considering tenants in common instead?

Think it means the fact that you can be forced to sell your asset (house) to pay for your care fees when you're older. In my grandparents case, for example, my grandad dies first and left everything to my Nan. Their mirrored wills left everything to the surviving spouse and then to grandchildren. But my Nan, after inheriting everything, had to go into a care home eventually, and we had to sell the house to pay for her care. If they'd been tenants in common, my grandfathers half of the house would have been protected for grandchildren to inherit.

It was really sad when we had to sell my nan's house. She had been so proud of the fact she owned a house. Very working class family, poor as dirt when they were kids, worked all their lives in factories to give their child, and grandchildren 'a better life'. They were so proud to be the first generation to buy their own home, worked hard to pay off the mortgage so it could be passed on to us. And then in the end none of it mattered because it was sold to pay for the care home till that money ran out.

Completely off track, but what they had done that made a big impact was to value education, which has meant that over the generations our family's situation has vastly improved.

GenderApostate19 · 08/11/2020 09:21

Catmummy - you don’t really need tenants in common with no kids, it’s generally done to protect their inheritance - in fact if your individual shares of the house are worth more than the Inheritance tax threshold, when one of you dies, the other would have a large bill to pay, whereas with joint tenancy the house comes fully to the survivor, regardless of value.
If one of you needs a care home, the house value is disregarded anyway as the other still lives there, so the tenancy arrangement is irrelevant.

Camparispritzandcrisps · 08/11/2020 09:26

I'm a solicitor and was adamant on tenants in common when I bought my first house with my partner last year. We're unmarried for a start, so no way was I going joint tenants - we're getting married next year and even so, I'd still keep the arrangements the same so that we can safeguard our individual shares. We have wills that leave our respective share to the other at the minute, and these can easily be changed to reflect any change in circumstances, including kids or a split.

AlwaysLatte · 08/11/2020 09:31

Tenants in common on our main house as we have a blended family. 75/25 ownership in my favour on our rental as it made sense tax wise. We had advice from a recommended FA and I would definitely recommend people do this as everyone's circumstances are different.

Original poster

PaddingtonStareBare · 08/11/2020 09:37

Yes, that is what we had set up. Once on parent passes, the surviving one has lifetime interest and cannot be forced from their home. This includes selling the home and using the funds to move elsewhere, the solicitors are trustees as well as the surviving parent but as the solicitor explained it they won't say no moving, but only if the survivor wanted to buy a house on a cliff edge for example.

Nothing was mentioned about protection of care home fees though, which is strange, apparently this couldn't be protected. But if we cam, then I want this in place.

FWIW I'm DH's second wife.

OP posts:

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