Is there a new trend of saying "if that makes sense"....

[MyGazeboisLeaking]

when the statement in question CLEARLY does?

For example: "Usually Brownjes is on a Tuesday, except in the summer when it's on a Wednesday, if that makes sense?".

Or: "I like to cook our meals in the slow cooker, if that makes sense?".

What is this all about? Do people suddenly feel we are incapable of understanding a simple situation or statement?

Yes, Yes, I'm with you. Makes perfect sense.

I have a colleague at work who always says “do you get my meaning?” after every other sentence

I used to say this a lot in class, thinking it was a way of checking whether students had grasped a new technique I was teaching them. Then I attended a class where a teacher used it a lot and it was so irritating. It sounds condescending and it closes down discussion because people feel they have to say 'Yes.' Now I try never to use it.

It might well be due to low self esteem, it's why I went through a phase of using it a lot, a lot of anxiety around what I was saying and if it made sense. I have autism, I can't read how people take what I have said well so sometimes I'll blurt that out.

Ugh - had a colleague say that after every sentence, often she'd say it twice 'does that make sense, does that make sense?' I'd sometimes smirk and say 'no' she never even registered I'd said it.
Like 'it is what it is' that seems to be doing the rounds.
Vacuous sentences used by vacuous people as full stops or filler.

I have noticed myself saying it all the time. Sometimes I think it's to get a response/reaction from DH when I'm chatting away about something Ill say "Does that make sense?"

Sometimes with work we discuss some pretty complicated issues by email. I might propose a solution to a problem and finish off 'does that make sense?' , because I either want the other person to explicitly agree or else continue the discussion.

But the examples in the OP where the issue isn't complex at all, and is a statement which doesn't require feedback - that does sound annoying.

Overusing it is unnecessary. Better to ask ‘Am I making sense?’ when you describe something or make a statement which you feel was long winded, or tackling an unfamiliar topic for the listener.

I caught myself saying it on a call at work this week. Of course it made sense, I explained it in full and it wasn't a difficult concept.

Someone I follow on Instagram says it at the end of every sentence. Now I must unfollow them and try to forget the phrase because I'm pretty sure my colleague was cringing for me.

Oh yes, that is annoying. I also hate statements that are written as questions? But that's for another thread??

I do this. Usually when I don't think I've explained myself very well. DH has already pulled me up on it saying it's completely unnecessary which I suppose it is. I dread someone actually saying no when I've asked it.

I realised I was using it in my work emails (and beginning sentences with “So...” like a PP said!) and now actively read them back and remove it.

For me it’s definitely an insecurity/confidence thing. I also use “I think it’s because of xyz” even though actually I KNOW it’s because of xyz so I’ve been rewording that too.

The only time I leave it in emails is for my useless colleague who I have to explain everything to in great detail and who likes to try to blame me if I miss small details 🙄

I'm glad that so many of you have noticed it too, and I hadn't realised that there were Instagram people that use it as an affectation to appear 'just one of the girls'.

For those of you who have said they use it for truly complex scenarios or in difficult situations - to me, that's very different and a genuine use, although I personally would prefer something less formulaic like "I'm not sure if I'm explaining this very well", or "it's complicated in my own mind so I'm not really sure how to put it" etc.

My ex bully boss used to say this all the time. But it was her way of checking and gaining approval. If you didn't agree she would go mental so there was no point.

Yes it’s been a trend certainly increasing over the last 5 years, and irritating as hell. I don’t think it’s always used to check understanding- more if a way to finish off a sentence.
If you think what you have said doesn’t make sense, explain it better then!
There’s a particular colleague who uses its lots & lots and I’m an tempted to answer it every single time, ‘yes it makes sense as I’m not a complete numpty’.

I would have done this when more junior and less confident at work. It definitely sounds like you don’t have confidence in your own ideas. I have a senior level city job and was pulled up on it by a more senior colleague years ago so I stopped doing it.

Now if I’m explaining something complex - it’s quite reasonable to pause part way through and say “let me pause there for a moment to check understand or take any questions”. This gives you a break as well - as opposed to rambling through the entire thing then panicking you’re rambling, so adding pointless fillers at the end like “does that make sense.” It’s a much better tactic and will slow you down too. As long as you then have the confidence to draw the discussion back to conclude your points after that pause.

So - make your point then shut up. If someone genuinely doesn’t understand they will say so. People don’t like silence so usually they are desperate to use fillers. You will have much more impact if you make your point then be quiet. Let people react.

Of course this is only for work situations.
And I know I don’t always take my own advice!

Oh dear - I say this all the time at work. Because when I ask for things to happen and they don’t I can’t understand if my instructions are clear enough or if I’m working with idiots. I’ve tried to wean myself off and instead ask “is that clear”
I know it’s annoying because I got it from someone else who used to say it and I’d cringe. But I need a verbal acknowledgment that yes the thing I just said is crystal clear and will be done.

I've said it for ages and I can't remember what I originally used it to substitute for.

I know that I used it in order to deflect the question away from the other person's competence onto mine - I want to confirm that what I've said/written is useful to the person but I don't want it to come across as "Are you clever enough to understand me?" but "Did I make my point clear?"

It probably replaces something like "Okay?" or "Does everybody understand?" - I know the latter in particular is considered very bad communication, because nobody is going to want to feel like the one idiot in a room full of people who understand, so you tend to get everyone nodding and privately thinking "WTF?"

So I think what you're probably seeing is people making the same switch I made (at some point) but overusing it. I still find it useful, even though I can't remember what it originally replaced, but I wouldn't use it in the sentences you gave in the OP.

I used to use it loads and have had to work hard to stop saying it. The reason I used it was self doubt, internally I was worried I’d said the wrong thing or might have suggested something nonsense, so it was a way of softening the blow of any harsh feedback / response to seed a little self doubt in there. An old boss picked me up on it and said it projects insecurity, so stop doing it if you want to increase your gravitas.

Don’t assume it’s arrogance and condescension.

I have seen emails signed off like this.

To me it says, I've explained it as well as I could but I'm not confident so I'm going to imply either I haven't or maybe you won't have the intelligence to understand, either way let's not be embarrassed.

Why not just put 'let me know if you have any questions' or 'blah blah...which is my preferred way of doing it'.

I hate it too and I do think it's a self-deprecating "just my little opinion - don't hate me" thing.

Lately I've seen at the end of emails and social media posts:
"Just a thought"
"Maybe it's just me"

I have a policy of not undermining myself and not apologising for my statements. E.g. I avoid "Sorry, but I don't agree". I'm not sorry. I don't say, "Sorry to chase you on this". I'm not sorry. I shouldn't have to chase. I don't talk in a jumble of nonsense. I don't need to ask if it's understandable.

I use it in my exam classes if I'm explaining a tricky part of the syllabus but it's a genuine check of understanding. I don't use it in normal life. The students are always perfectly happy to say yes or no, or look at me cross-eyed if it's really tough!

Since I started having to explain almost everything by email I use it a lot more. I can’t see people’s facial expressions to see if I’ve explained things in a way they understand. I try to be clear, but human communication often goes awry somewhere between the speaker and the listener, or the writer and the reader.

When I ask if something makes sense, I’m open to people replying, “Mostly, except the bit in the middle about xyz - how does that work?”

If I’m on the receiving end of a ‘does that make sense’ it’s an opportunity to ask about things that are unclear. I would ask anyway but I like knowing a question would be welcome.

So I’m defending the phrase. I think it’s useful and encourages questions about the parts of communication that haven’t quite worked, for whatever reason.

Since I started having to explain almost everything by email I use it a lot more. I can’t see people’s facial expressions to see if I’ve explained things in a way they understand. I try to be clear, but human communication often goes awry somewhere between the speaker and the listener, or the writer and the reader.

Yes, I was wondering if this trend was related to increased non face to face communication.