To have left a secure, well paid job before a recession?

[Sandybeen]

MN, I know this board is renowned for people not being afraid to be blunt, and I don't know if I've done the right thing or not.

A bit of boring background- before falling pregnant I absolutely loved work, it wasn't an amazing job by any means, but I enjoyed it and it paid okay. I was very poorly during pregnancy, thankfully me and baby were fine physically, but my MH suffered a lot and we spent time in the mother and baby unit after he was born, and when it came time to go back, I wasn't ready. They had been supportive but there wasn't much more they could do which is fair enough. I was thrilled to have found a similar job 6 months on (June), and I started at the end of August. Fully remote from home so 'ideal' covid wise, but I am really struggling.

The work itself and the workload is less than I'm used to, but my MH is just in the toilet, and work is exasperating everything and I'm doing such a bad job. DS is in nursery and happy there which means at least don't have to worry about that, but DH works away and it's extremely hard trying to juggle everything whilst struggling myself. I have told work and they just said well at least you have a job, true I suppose.

It became too much, and yesterday after a long talk with DH I have decided to quit, and take a bit more time to get into a better place, I'm on the verge at the moment of falling into a dark place I will either not come back from or will need to be hospitalised again, and I am not able to focus on work at all. I have been offered the chance to be signed off sick, but I'm not sure if that's kicking the can down the road, and as I've not long started I don't feel like it's an option really, at least this way I don't have to worry at all about work. Money will be doable, but I do feel bad DH will have the financial burden, he is insistent he doesn't mind and is supportive whatever I do.

Now I am panicking about how stupid I would be to leave a stable, well paid, WFH job during a pandemic and before a recession, especially with people losing their jobs not through choice; I feel so fucking guilty but also like I cant cope anymore.

If you can afford it then your mental health has to come first. Take positive steps to deal with it during this time. Are you getting real help?

Yes thank you, I still have a support worker albeit via phone at the moment which isn't as easy imo but better than nothing, and I was having apps at the unit every month but they have halted; my worker can put me in touch if needed though which I might do soon. We can just about afford it, and I feel so guilty that we would be in a better position with me working

I think that as you've been offered the chance to be signed off sick, you should start there.

You might feel very differently given some time. And if you don't - then quit.

In the meantime,

Take the sick leave for now anyway if your not certain

I would start off with being signed off. See how you feel. That way you haven't fully packed it in. But if money is doable and you still feel like it is too much your MH definitely comes first. Sounds like you have a supportive husband too which is great. Please take care of yourself and stop beating yourself up for putting your MH first.

Although it sounds silly as I know it's important to think of yourself and family too, if I take sick leave I honestly don't know when I will feel 'better' (well enough to work anyway), but If I leave they can recruit for the post, it's a fairly small team and everyone is working extra hard to support eachother when isolating, childcare issues etc- they've been amazing with me but if im signed off they will struggle even more. They are all saying to do what I need but I don't know.

Being signed off sick can create a lot of stress if you’re going to be worried about how they’ll cope without you and when you can return. In all honesty it sounds like you need a complete break and only leaving will give you that.