my cousin is a conspiracy theorist

[pengin567]

I get on with my cousin really well, and generally like his company.
He has recently started to get into conspiracy theories however, and whilst I believe that people can have different views on things and still get along, he seems frustrated that I don't follow these views.
I have tried just listening to him, or changing the subject, but it always come back to the theories, and he seems exasperated with me!
I am a total people pleaser and hate to upset anyone though! WWYD?

hopeful bump!

It up to him if he wants to believe the conspiracy theories that go around but you also have the right whether or not to believe them.
Don't ever agree with people just to please them. Be your own person and just agree to disagree.
Tbh he sounds bloody overbearing and annoying.

Thanks for your reply! He can be insulting of people who don't follow his views, the 'mainstream'..I probably do need to distance myself for a while..though wouldn't look forward to telling him why..I need to grow a backbone

Here is an article which might help:

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/through-the-social-science-lens/202005/how-should-we-respond-people-who-spread-conspiracy

IMO it's very hard to get through to people once they have descended down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole. I believe it's akin to mental ilness and / or brainwashing. Might be best to steer clear as far as possible.

and here's a MN thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3637551-Why-people-believe-conspiracy-theories

Thank you for sending those over, interesting read!

Depends on how far down the rabbit hole the person is but I've taken to one upping them once they're past the point of being able to have a reasonable discussion about whatever it is they believe.

For example if someone believes covid was planned/man-made by the "government" I tend to go with "Ha! You really believe the government could plan and pull this off?? They can't even keep track of their expenses! Quite clearly this isn't from this world! How else could it jump from animal to human and around the world so quickly?"

Or

If they go on about "mainstream media" and "doing they're research" I ask where they did said research (usually youtube google etc) then counter with "Aw come on you can't be that naive! They control all of that, everything you read online, everything, is in their control. It's only there cause they want you to see it and believe it and they've got you hook line and sinker!! I thought you were really awake but I can see you're just another bandwagoner"

They tend to get pissed off by this stage and leave you alone.

@pengin567 I feel your pain! I also have a male cousin who is also a conspiracy theorist. Thankfully I don't see him, so I just have to see his excruciatingly self righteous, woke rants on Facebook.
I think you are just going to have to lay it out for him. Tell him you don't agree, but you respect his right to believe what he wants and can he not discuss it with you anymore.

My sister is the same. Flat earth,corona isn’t real , the queens a lizard ,david icke is great ,jfk was assassinated by someone else
Etc etc etc
There’s nothing you can do or say ime they just get more convinced the more you try to persuade them out of it

It’s a case of telling them that you don’t want to discuss it or avoiding them unfortunately

I wonder if in the case of Covid it's a coping mechanism. I know someone who seems quite sensible but has come out with all sorts of nonsense.

I yabu’ed you for the people pleaser bit. It’s one thing to not upset people because you don’t want to upset them, but now you’ve recognised that you’re not upsetting people because you want them to like them you have the insight to challenge or ignore. Don’t go along with him.

thank you for all your replies on this! I acknowledge there might be a grain of truth in some things, but I dont want to spend time picking every item apart that is sent over to me
Some family members and colleagues have been affected by Covid and it has been awful for them, it is very real unfortunately

Close relative who isn't a conspiracy theorist, but thinks I'm keen to spend hours on the phone discussing how mad some of the conspiracy theories are .
Not remotely interested - I'd rather watch paint dry - or shock horror do some ironing. I let her rant for a minute or two max, then change or end the conversation.

I doubt you'll change his mind, so there's really no point engaging. By now, he'll be evangelical about it - seeing it as his moral duty to open your eyes.

This has a few helpful insights, I think:

www.abc.net.au/news/science/2020-10-05/conspiracy-theories-coronavirus-5g-conspiratorial-psychology/12722320

I think the existential threat thing is interesting and makes sense. "You see this issue as an existential threat, but I don't." "I don't feel threatened by [whatever the issue he's on about]..."

Or even just "It doesn't bother me and I don't want to talk about it"

I think there is little point in contradicting him.

Oh god my dad too
My adult daughter had a go’ at him about his ridiculous plandemic crap. Masks are to be worn to control us, Trump is the leader of the ONE government and he KNOWS everything abs will save the world etc
I’ve not spoken to him since he sent me a pissy response - she’s 22 not 2 abs I agree with her
He’s stopped taking meds for diabetes stroke (has had a major one 10 yrs back) bp etc as the pharmaceutical system is again about control
Everything is a conspiracy now to him

He’s entitled to his view but his rambling on about them and getting frustrated with you for not sharing them is really not in. It’s bullish and you need to tell him that if he can’t agree to disagree you will have no choice but to distance yourself.