To think instead of toxic positivity, telling people to get counselling or use meds, people should be reaching out more to one another?

[SilentLamb1]

Especially in the times we find ourselves in. As above.

Only if the person reaching out has the time, skills and ability to truly listen and empathise. Many don't.

Reaching out is banned though.

That’s why this is all so difficult.

And a zoom/call reach out is not the same.

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Sounds good but when I'm really low I'm afraid I can't talk/ connect/ reach out, I just can't. I sit in silence hoping the other, well- meaning, friend or family member, will just leave. There are a lot of awkward silences.
I am normally bubbly and talkative so it feels really cringey, but I can't help it, I don't care about anything or anyone in that moment, I just want to be left alone.

What does 'reach out' actually mean in this context? It just sounds like another version of 'be kind', which we all know is an empty, useless sentiment.

Why does it need to be an either or type thing?

There is a time and a place for any and all the things you mentioned, often alongside each other

Depends what you mean by ‘reaching out’.

Counselling and medication have their place in some situations.

I don’t think it’s either or, and depends on the person and the context.

Absolutely the power of connection and keeping in touch is important, and regular contact is vital for our wellbeing.

But there are people who need more help with their mental health than the occasional chat with a mate can solve. Also if someone really needs a lot of support, it might not be possible for the friend to provide the care they need.

Does reach out mean what we used to call contact? Such a silly phrase.

It's not a zero sum game. In these current times it is absolutely worthwhile maintaining contact with the people in your life, especially those who are a bit fragile.

But when things go really bad, it's time for professional help. Continuing to 'reach out' instead of seeking serious help is both dangerous and self-indulgent. How often do we read on here about people whose partners have clear mental health issues, but refuse to seek help or treatment and remain happy to watch their partners burn themselves up caring for them? That isn't acceptable behaviour.

People aren't allowed to "reach out" at the moment and most people have retreated into their own bubbles so a lot of people are left with nobody to reach out to.

A lot of people are facing very serious problems that no amount of platitudes, medication or counselling will fix. They need real life solutions, which may not be available.

I don't know how you're defining "toxic positivity" but usually described in relation to the Oprah philosophy of the secret which is the belief that you can think your way out of anything and imagine anything you want into your life. "You don't need cancer treatment, you just need to change your mind and it'll disappear." That's toxic positivity.

I also believe, maybe cynically, that a lot of U.K. mental health/wellbeing advice suggests reaching out to loved ones for support because we don’t have the funding/structures to help people and meet their mental health needs. Family and friends can provide support but it’s limited in how much they can help. However with post code lotteries, waiting lists for NHS counselling etc then it sometimes feels like suggestions like talking to a friend are mere plasters over larger wounds.

YABU. 'Reaching out' doesn't help depression.

My emotional well is empty. I can manage myself just fine but honestly if someone were to “reach out” to me, I couldn’t help them. I do care but I can literally only take care of myself. It’s been this way since I suffered a trauma a couple of years ago. Many people are struggling right now and they can only just about keep themselves going, if they are even managing that. Meds can work. They stopped me being suicidal. I feel no shame in taking them.

@Meruem, no shame! Would you feel shame if you were a diabetic taking insulin? There is no difference.

Sorry not shouting at you.

YABU. For many, many people, medication and counselling are lifesaving and the only way to get healthy again. That's not toxic positivity - I can 'reach out' to my friends and family all I want, but it's not going to make my brain produce enough serotonin to not want to die, so medication it is!