Toddler reins. Is it just my kids that won't wear them?

[CovidStoleTheRainbow]

I'm 3 kids in and have never managed to use reins.
I see toddlers happily walking along with their mum, wearing reins and behaving.

Yet DC1 and 2 would just lay on the ground screaming and tantruming if I tried to use them.

When pregnant with DC3 I totally assumed this was my fault, that I didn't introduce them early enough, maybe I didn't persevere long enough (even if it felt like it) maybe it was because I didn't use one of those expensive dinosaur themed ones.

DC3 has been walking since 10 months and I've been using one since then. Or trying to.
It's an expensive dinosaur one which he seemed to love to wear.
But the second he realised there's a 'lead' on it, he lays down and screams.
Refusing to move.

He's 2 soon and I really have persevered. I've tried and stuck with it and stood my ground.
But we go nowhere. He just goes no where.
Walking doesn't happen.

So he has to go back in the buggy (screaming and pissed off) or he walks freely.

It's not long until he's 'bolt for the road' age, in fact he's nearly there.

Why the hell don't my kids accept reins?!

Where have I gone wrong THREE times?!

I think it depends on the child. Neither of mine wore reins but neither have been ones to run off and 2 year old always holds my hand and will stand still when waiting to cross roads etc. If I tried to put them on then he would be like yours and probs just throw himself on the floor.
Even at 2 when we cross I say look for cars etc and he goes “car coming” if he sees one so knows not to step out.
But I know people with kids that happily wear them

I wouldn't say mine accepted them any more than they accepted wearing seat belts on the rare occasions they went in a car, or accepted going in the buggy when they didn't want to. More that I made them. If they screamed I let them scream. If they lay down on the ground I lifted them up (as long as they're not too heavy, the reins work quite well for this).

We live near one of the main roads: this was absolutely non-negotiable. A school friend of theirs was killed a few years later crossing the road without looking.

Tbh dd screamed and tantrummed about most things in life: I got used to it. She grew out of it. I don't think it was anything I did wrong: it was her personality.

Her brother was a sweet little soul who accepted rules most of the time. (Yeah, guess who was arguing against parental authority non-stop for 2 or 3 years during their pre-teens)

DD likely would have worn them but she was well behaved and happily held a hand and never bolted.

DS was a little bolter but would hang there like a marionette if you used reins. He would just go limp and refuse to move. So I'd put him in a sling and if he protested, he was told to walk whilst holding hands. I never cracked reins.

Have you tried the tiny rucksacks that have a built in one? DD hated reins and would swing off them but the rucksack she loved and would carry her favourite toy in it. She wanted a runner but was brilliant in busy places where we could be separated.

*wasn't a runner

Mine hated them and I had bolters so had to do something. I used a wrist strap instead, started on the wrist until I found a small bag they would wear and fastened it to that.

Two of mine also hated strapped in the buggy, car seats, highchair etc and learned very early how to undo it all, thankfully there are things on the market to prevent this. The same two would batter anyone who tried to pick them up during a tantrum.

DS was a little bolter but would hang there like a marionette if you used reins. He would just go limp and refuse to move. So I'd put him in a sling and if he protested, he was told to walk whilst holding hands. I never cracked reins.

I have three of these boys.

Bolters. Rein haters.

Mine didn't get a choice. Tantrums and carrying on for a while at first. Tough I'm afraid. Road safety is non negotiable in this house.

Much like when training a young pup. Untill your recall and listening skills are bulletproof on the lead they go.

I'm the same as @sunshinesheila. With youngest DC now I have the pushchair and the reins, she gets to choose which one she uses. If she refuses the reins then its pushchair by default, in she goes and off we go. She can tantrum all she likes while she's in there because she can't get out and it doesn't hinder me or endanger her. If she picks the reins and then decides she's going to refuse to walk or mess about then back into the pushchair she goes, if I don't have the pushchair with me then I either ignore her and wait for the tantrum to end or I put her under my arm and go. I've been known to remind my 6yo that the reins are on the bottom of the pushchair during those times where he's been messing about next to the road.

mine both had those little life backpacks which they liked because we'd pack it with a favourite toy/drink/snack when we went out. Also tried to use it without the lead as far as possible except when they were very tiny and were midgets with death wishes as far as traffic was concerned. After that the little loop on the back was great for just holding on to them on those occasions you needed to.

I had a lovely pair for ds and he was ok after he cried his outrage

Once he worked out I wasn’t budging he walked albeit reluctantly

Dd was never a bolter but I got her the backpack when she was 2 as I had just had ds and she wanted to walk, but I didn’t want to risk her running as it only takes them once

She loved the backpack

DD wore a little life backpack, with a toy/snack/mini pack of wipes in it. Reins weren't negotiable, she was a bolter & very fast, we lived on a main road & don't have a car. And she wanted to walk! As soon as she learned to walk, at about 1, she did not want to be in the pushchair unless she was too tired... we still had to push it around though, very handy for the shopping when she wasn't in it.

We remind her that the reins are still an option if she runs off while we're out, as she apparently has no common sense & occasionally runs across side streets without looking. She's 8 & finds the very idea mortifying. (They probably wouldn't fit but she doesn't know that!)

@sunshinesheila

Mine didn't get a choice. Tantrums and carrying on for a while at first. Tough I'm afraid. Road safety is non negotiable in this house. Much like when training a young pup. Untill your recall and listening skills are bulletproof on the lead they go.

For plenty of people, road safety is non-negotiable but reins are not the solution and some children behave differently to dogs 😁. You could have been tough as you like, stood your ground, refused to move etc. My son would not walk in reins and we had a Little Life backpack. Nope. You'd still be standing there today, many years later. We found a solution and he had to go in the sling if necessary.

My niece was a bolter and they couldn't use reins. She has profound sensory issues due to autism and couldn't manage them. She also couldn't hold hands. We had to come up with some creative solutions.

I never really used them with dd1 as she was well behaved and didn’t run off. Also she was the only one I had to keep an eye on back then, so I could give her my full attention.

I tried to use them with dd2, she was more of a live wire and more likely to leg it. But like your DC she would just lie on the floor and scream, so I gave up.

It's not just you OP!
Also - shock horror - all children are different! And are not all little robots, we tried traditional reins and also the little backpack ones, I'm a tough parent (stubborn at times) and of course road safety is non negotiable but he still wouldn't walk in them. I had no desire to drag him physically along streets screaming. He got put in his buggy unless he walked nicely holding hands. At 2.5 he walks beautifully, always holds hands, does not move from the pavement unless holding hands.
I'll try again with DD when she walks but if there are other options I'll also try them. As long as they're safe

I'm lucky as ds is fine with them, not sure about dd yet! I find them quite good for DS who has balance issues as holding his hand cam make him a bit lop sided!