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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why my baby groans and strains ALL night?

33 replies

HenrysHome · 06/11/2020 05:56

FTM to a 5 week old little boy. We’ve got off to a rocky start and I’m starting to crack! Bit of background - we have tried infacol, Dentinox and gripe water. We are on gaviscon having stopped omeprazole due to side effects. He has recently been given a laxitice due to the constipation from the gaviscon He also has similac alimentum for suspected cmpa. Every night without fail he will start groaning And straining SO loudly from 1am- 7am. He’s happy enough to fall asleep on me but the instant I put him down the groaning starts up again. It’s really difficult to get any burps up from him but he trumps like a trooper! Any advice to stop the groaning and straining I’m at my wits end and really not enjoying being a mum Sad

OP posts:
Jilljams · 06/11/2020 06:03

My sons did this. The doctor explained it’s because their abdominal muscles aren’t yet able to work in the correct combination. It gets better on its own, I think they were about 6 weeks when it improved

lboogy · 06/11/2020 06:05

My D.C. used to do this. I never got an explanation. He grew out of it after 2 months

SnuggyBuggy · 06/11/2020 06:08

It's because their digestive systems aren't fully developed and as PP say they can't coordinate a fart easily. It sucks but they should grow out of it.

bluebearss · 06/11/2020 06:10

Totally normal, unfortunately, and they do grow out of it fairly quickly!

I'd be wary of medicating too much for something that may just be a developmental stage? But of course I'm sure there's more to it and you know baby best Smile

bluebearss · 06/11/2020 06:14

Also, try putting some white noise on, either in the room or pop some headphones in. You'll still hear baby's cries over it, but it'll block out some of the noise - worked for me just to get a better night's sleep!

DartmoorDoughnut · 06/11/2020 06:15

Leg cycling whilst lying on back and sitting on knee supporting head under chin with other head on back keeping the body straight whilst moving whole body in a circle helped my eldest who was the same.

They grow out of it but yeah fun times!

TheDuchessOfAquitaine · 06/11/2020 06:15

My two were like this and I found it really upsetting, but like PP say, it’s not unusual and they do grow out of it after a couple of months...it was maybe 8-10 weeks before it settled. I think medication at that stage can sometimes do more harm than good. We used gripe water and some other thing that you mixed with the milk and it didn’t seem to help at all but kept going with it and then when I ran out, she was fine Blush
It’s really hard to know what to do for the best but it will get better in a few weeks. Hang on in there.

ihatesandpits · 06/11/2020 06:16

I always described it as, trying to sleep in a farmyard Grin

Sipperskipper · 06/11/2020 06:17

Dd2 is 11 weeks old and does this too. DD1 (now 3.5) was noisy and strainy too but nothing like this.

She was also doing it when awake too and seemed so uncomfortable, although rarely cried. Also diagnosed with likely CMPA and is now on Nutramigen formula. We have certainly seen an improvement although it took a couple of weeks. She is still noisy from around 1am and when put down after her feed overnight.

It has definitely improved from where we were at 5 weeks, and just hoping it goes away soon!

I wear earplugs at night- can still hear her cry but it helps to slightly muffle the constant noise.

Luckystar1 · 06/11/2020 06:22

My youngest is almost 6 weeks. He sleeps in a co sleeper crib until his first night feed, after that he’s in beside me.

What I’ve noticed is that he groans if I’m too far away (you know, further than an inch away 😂). Once I’m closer, groaning stops. So in our case it’s nothing to do with digestion, all to do with wanting mummy closer!

WantANewHome · 06/11/2020 06:27

Try baby massage. There are proper techniques so Google it. Xx

Original poster
HenrysHome · 06/11/2020 06:41

Thank you for your replies everyone, it’s reassuring to know that it’s normal and will eventually grow out of it! It’s so maddening though when it’s constant I feel like it’s a form of torture! Did you just leave them to groan it out or did you pick up to cuddle/ reassure? I feel like a terrible mum for wanting to just leave him groaning away but I get so tired I can’t bare the thought of getting him to cuddle and then trying to put him down without waking him Sad

OP posts:
Fatted · 06/11/2020 06:46

Put the cot at an angle so they're not laid flat and if they don't have a dummy, I'd recommend one.

My eldest did it. He had very bad reflux and we think now looking back CMPA that never got picked up on. My youngest never did. He had reflux, but not as bad.

scrivette · 06/11/2020 07:01

I found that when I went to DS it would disturb him and he would wake up properly, but when I left him he would be more settled and we would both get a better nights sleep.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 06/11/2020 07:05

Ear plugs
You will still hear crying but most of the grunting will lessen

I fully believe in the 4th trimester , in that they are so all over the place for the first 3 months and to have very low expectations

Original poster
HenrysHome · 06/11/2020 07:09

Sometimes he wakes up with a scream which I think is his reflux and he always needs a cuddle to settle back down which obviously I do but maybe il left leaving him to get his groans out on his own? It does seem like it’s causing him pain though so I feel awful Sad he does have a dummy which he will take when he’s in the mood, he’ll often spit it out and then start crying for it again!

OP posts:
Trixie18 · 06/11/2020 07:19

Both my son's did this in their first year. It was reflux, the reason they slept fine on me was because they were more upright and not lying flat. We bought a wedgehog for their cots that helped. We put carobel in their milk with a tiny drop of infacol (it takes all the air bubbles out the milk). We also put them on omeprazol and ranitadine together (they had severe reflux), all that sorted them out. They grew out of it at about 15 months (mine were 3 months prem). Also try not to wind him for too long if it's reflux as that can make it worse. Good luck, it's hard work but you'll get on top of it xxx

SnuggyBuggy · 06/11/2020 07:20

I've had some luck with tummy rubbing and leg bicycling and sometimes a small feed settles them. Sometimes you just get a bad night

Needallthesleep · 06/11/2020 07:20

We have this exact problem with our 3 week old. To start with I thought she was hungry so would go to feed her every time she grunted. Now I’ve realised she just wants to fart I just leave her to it.

I also feel terrible not doing anything to help. But the midwife explained that it’s just their immature digestive systems and it will pass.

Katela18 · 06/11/2020 07:35

My baby girl did this, she was 2 months prem and it's apparently very normal for prems and full term babies too. Basically as others have said they haven't learnt to coordinate their digestive system yet so are just trying to learn to wee/poo/fart. My HV told me there has been studies done and they believe it doesn't cause baby pain as I was really worried about this. I used to let my baby get on with it.... Hard as it is as but I think it sounds worse than it is. No doubt its maddening!

As others have said having her crib on a slight incline and dummy helped.

My LO grew out of it at about 4 months but as I say she was prem so maybe took her a bit longer to get everything going!

BakedTattie · 06/11/2020 07:38

Tilt his cot, it will help

Bubbletrouble43 · 06/11/2020 07:42

One of my twins did this. It's very stressful, grunted and strained from about midnight to 5am every night. I was told it was possibly due to her being 3 weeks early and her trachea or something being underdeveloped ( I can't remember, it was all a tearful sleep deprived hideous blur) she thank god suddenly stopped at about 10/11 weeks, and then slept really well. I remember it being emotional torture for me at the time x you may have had a rocky start but this will pass

Bubbletrouble43 · 06/11/2020 07:46

I used to lie next to her and rub her tum very gently. I've spent entire nights doing that just to make the noise stop. Luckily her twin didn't do it, just woke up 2 hourly to guzzle a feed then went back down. Bloody exhausting this new born lark, and don't worry, I didn't enjoy it at all either, it doesn't make you a bad mum.

Sipperskipper · 06/11/2020 10:44

Yes to leaving baby to grunt. I realised DD gets more irritated if I start to intervene with dummy / patting etc. If she needs me, she will cry. Otherwise I put earplugs in and try to sleep!

bluebearss · 06/11/2020 11:01

Yep, I'd say leave to grunt! If they're in true pain or discomfort they'll cry for you. And actually he may be asleep some of the time regardless of grunting, so you might disturb him.

I found this age the HARDEST. After they're about three weeks old and become more alert (stop the constant, easy sleeping bit), but before they're engaging, they're really quite unreasonable creatures. When you get to nearer 10-12 weeks it gets SO much easier and more rewarding. Honestly.