To feel old at 42?

[Glassythighs]

Ive just turned 42. Honestly I look quite young for my age so its not how I look but more that I feel like I was 22 just recently and that in a flash I'll be 62 (if I'm lucky). I think part of it is that my parents are on the brink of old age and it's sinking in they won't be around forever.

My health hasn't been great for the past 5 years due to chronic pain and I've struggled to achieve my goals and this adds to the feeling that I'm running out of time. I know logically I'm still young and have a lot of life left to live, a loving husband and lots to look forward to but I always find myself mentally fast forwarding.

Every year seems to go faster and this year has been a right off.

How can I stop thinking like this and recapture my youthful enthusiasm for life?

Snap! I’ve just turned 42 too.

I know how you feel- everything does seem to speed up!

Yep it is a scary reality time goes to fast. As long as I'm able to get about the alternative to getting old is far worse.

I was looking forward to 42 - answer to life, the universe and everything etc.

In reality, there were maybe 3-4 reasonable months and then a tsunami of shite, including but not limited to Covid, that means overall i ended up knackered. Turned 43 last month and it’s no better so far. I’m just bored of being frustrated by almost everything. Not sure whether my rage is down to the state of the country/world or the start of Peru-menopause. The natural mulling about decisions made in the last 25 years and the alternative paths that could have been taken leads nowhere good.

But not everybody gets to turn 43, so I’m grateful to have the opportunity to whinge about it.

*peri-menopause.

(Fuck you, autocorrect)

I’m 42 and it terrifies me. I look much older, I’m starting to feel a bit stiff. I’ve had a really terrible time over the last 10 years and I don’t get great enjoyment from life. I’m a bit stuck with it all in a marriage that I’m not totally happy in and I know it’s aged me. I’m very insecure and I’m anxious.

I think back to my 20s and all the hope and uncertainty I had. It seems so recent! I don’t like the person I was back then though (but I’ve never really liked myself at any age!)

I know I’ve wasted my life and there’s not much hope of a happy future as for various reasons I’m totally stuck where I am, and I’m totally 100% reliant on my husband. Which is my fault,

But I’m miserable about being this age. I’ve never achieved anything, and I never will. I’m going to get older and more useless and I know eventually I’ll be alone with nothing to offer. Being 42 depresses me as I watch myself become a very unattractive woman unable to stop the changes.

And time does speed up so much. Ive completely lost control! This year has been particularly tough.

I had some existential angst when I turned 42 too. Mine was prompted by a passing comment from a work colleague.

It was my birthday and a colleague (who had no idea how old I was) said "happy birthday euro. 21 again, eh?" I laughed politely as you do and then my face fell as I realised I was indeed 21-again. 21 was half a lifetime ago. How could that be? It felt like last week. I spent the rest of the day in a contemplative state!

I met up with a friend and a friend of their's who I know. We worked out I last saw them roughly three years ago. It honestly doesn't even feel like a year ago

We have a few apprentices at work, I was talking to one who was born in 2003 and how he's trying to get his car licence. I had mine six years before he was born

I've heard that the reason time passes faster the older you get is because you're experiencing less new things

I've really felt this recently too. Definitely not alone OP.
Also when you notice your parents are elderly. And now you are the age that your parents were when you used to think they were old !!
Also my new manager at work is young enough to be my child. That's the first time that's happened.
All of a sudden things have shifted. I feel as if everything has moved up another level. It's odd

I think eternally waiting for the “good times to come” can be very damaging. It’s what’s hit me since turning 40.

Always waiting for things to get better where the truth is they’re only going to get harder.

I feel like this year has flown so maybe the idea that not experiencing new things speeds it up is right. This year has been so boring and covid hasn't helped. I'm 40 but feel I have achieved very little. Lack of income, young children I cant think how I will experience anything new anytime soon!

That's exactly how I feel. I'm 49

I'm 43. The only time I feel old is when I have to get up after kneeling as my one knee is a bit knackered. While it's injury related rather than age, age ain't helping it.

I’m hurtling towards 50 and it’s depressing. I feel old in my body, unfit, fat !

I feel exactly the same. I think it’s to do with the fact my youngest parent turned 70 and the other one turned 75 this year so it’s sort of hit me that I’m likely to lose them in the next 10-15 years.

I read I think on here, a saying that goes something like:

“Never fear growing old; it’s a privilege denied to so many.”

I always think of that saying if I feel down about it. It’s so, so true. Too many people die too young. Make the most of what you have.

I’m 43. Still look the same as I did in my early thirties and am fit as a fiddle. I would consider myself young, actually. I do hate seeing my parents get older, though.

I felt 80 at 38 and feel 30 now at 46. It’s about your mind and what’s going on around you.

I'll be 63 next week. Despite health issues, I feel like I'm 17 and life holds all the promise it might have done then, if only I'd known then what I know now. I keep trying to accept that I'm old but my mind won't have it.

At 42 or any age, whatever your state of health, set out to enjoy yourself as much as you can.

I'm 44 & despite not enjoying good mental health as I get very paranoid when I'm tired or stressed etc etc, & therefore only being able to work part time.... I'm generally happy with my life & feel that I am young & look young!

My patients yesterday indeed made me feel very young - one said was I in my 20s (ok so he was 76) & one lady was 90 & we chatted about her being evacuated in ww2!!

I'm not very physically fit at present as I'm 2.5 stone overweight & get quite breathless on exertion but over lockdown I'm planning to lose the weight & get fitter!

Yes I've got a few grey hairs so I get them dyed & ive got a 26 yr old friend with grey hairs too!

The main thing is that I have so much more confidence than I ever had & that makes me feel good.

Lots of good replies and much to think about. I do feel like I need to take stock and give myself a bit of a shake. I do have a lot to be thankful for. I do think my health lets me down and I don't know how much I can control that. So perhaps I'm just setting myself up for more failure but I need to try.

Was coming to say something similar to @Osirus.
"Don't count the years, make the years count".
A bit schmaltzy but true.
I think we all get a bit down about life sometimes and we wish to be at a different stage or elsewhere and I'm no different. I'm 43 but trying hard to embrace the aging process!
Getting harder to lose the lockdown tummy and a few more wrinkles and lines. It all tells a story as to who we are. I might not love myself everyday, but I do try to and count the many blessings in life however small. Not much else we can do.

I felt like that for a while and got a bit panicky about it! My 20s and evening teenage years are so fresh in my mind.
I realised though, that I’ve achieved so much in the last 20 odd years. Just normal stuff! And the 40 something me is a world away from the person I was at 20/25.

I also think, I’ve got all the things in the bag now, children, house, career, partner, ex husband 🙈 and I’m confident and happy in my own skin. And I don’t waste my time like I did in my 20s.
The next part of my life is where I can reap the rewards of that. If that makes any sense?!

*Even not evening!

I felt like that in my early 40s. It was at its grimmest at 44. Then I sorted myself out, lost weight, found fitness and now in my early 50s I have never felt better. I had some health issues but they have improved massively with the weight loss and increased fitness. Just do what you can, OP, but never under-estimate yourself and what you can do.