To be bored stiff of the same old thing

[90sgirl89]

I am sure it's 2020. But I honestly feel so bored with life.im not depressed. Just bored. Everything is so boring. The conversations I have are so boring. My day to day life is so dull. I'm not currently working and won't be doing for two more years when my children are fully in school. Then I hope to do something around them. But right now it's just not an option.

I just look at day to day things currently and get no joy out of them. I don't feel content.

I'm bored of being alone alot. I'm fed up that I can't take my toddler to playgroup. I'm fed up of the daily stuff. Washing up. Cooking meals. Going for walks. Doing my daughter's reading book with her whilst my toddler interupts.

I'm bored of the conversations with my partner who's been home since march. I'm bored with our evenings. I'm bored at the weekends the last few weeks. It's always bluddy raining or freezing.

I'm fed up of cleaning up after three messy people.

I've considered that maybe I should be with someone else. But I know that's actually me just wanting some fun. I wish I could do something exciting but no idea what.

I was on the phone to my sister yesterday and she was telling me about cleaning out her kitchen cupboards. I said to her. God is this what life is now. Talking about flasks and lunch boxes that have been gathering dust haha.

It's funny but it actually is really dull.

I hope 2021 is better as this year has really got to me. Now we've got a month ahead of lockdown and then we will probably get a half arsed Christmas before a cold dull January.

Let's hope by spring we can all start living again as it's really depressing.

@H0liday00Dream

I think that you have lots to be grateful for Some people that I know don't have any of these things;

A child
A partner
You don't work
It sounds like you have no financial worries
I presume you have your health
You have someone to phone for a chat

Fucks sake...

I hate the way women are dismissed and told 'but you have a child, you should be grateful', like it's the Holy fucking Grail or something. A partner is not something to be 'grateful' for either, being with someone shouldn't be a charitable act on their behalf. Let's remember that some women would be very grateful to be rid of their partners.

As for 'you don't work', working is probably one of the best favours you can do yourself. I certainly wouldn't feel fortunate to have no work.

OP, I understand. I think so many women find parenting rather monotonous as it is (and that's perfectly OK) and all this coronabollocks is making things ten times worse. All I can suggest is hanging in there.

As for 'you don't work', working is probably one of the best favours you can do yourself. I certainly wouldn't feel fortunate to have no work.

that's debatable. Some of us would have more than enough to keep them occupied and interested, no job needed for that.

The only problem with young children is childcare, if you work you find it. If you don't work, it might be more difficult or feel less natural to pay or just ask for help.

Thanks for the replies. I fully expected the be thankful ones etc.

I go for long walks with my son. But other than that. Nope I have nothing other than a bath each evening whilst partner battles to keep the kids downstairs. When they are finally asleep I do a few things then I sleep.

What would I like to do.
I would love to read. But I never am alone. Never! Until I'm shattered myself. If I was doing crafty things my son would attack me. Plus I'm forever chasing my tail.

No I can't go back to work. As nobody will have my son. Nobody will collect my dd. Nobody will have them both in the holidays. Nobody will help me on days when they are sick. So my partner works and we manage. We do have financial struggles slightly this year. We are not rich. But we have always been sensible. So we have £1800 a month for absolutely everything and my partner keeps a tiny bit in savings. He no long does overtime so we are actually £300 down a month.

I would love to buy paint. Decorate the wall in the garden. Put some slate down. Get some pots etc. But my partner says not at the moment we need to be careful.

I do exercise in a walking sense. Not overweight. But there's no time to pump it and jog about in the day. I'm never alone. Not even for half an hour. If son has a nap it's soon over and I usually prepare tea.

Same with online courses or learning another language (languages no thanks anyway) I don't have the money or time until my son starts a childcare setting.

It was just a rant. If I had the money and space I could do loads of inspirational things. But I have a little person and noobey right now.

Health wise. No I'm not great. Awaiting referral for gynocology for various things.

What's wrong with learning something new? You can do it with your children, free, on YouTube. You might even enjoy it!

Some of the replies on here are really shit. The 'only boring people are bored' people do my head in. I hope one day they find themselves bored and someone helpful says that to them.

But if you make your own stuff to do you're never bored - that's how it works! It isn't something that happens by chance. I was a SAHM who started a business from home, doing childcare at the same time, working during naptimes. Loads of others I know did too - we didn't just sit at home saying it was boring!

When your DP is home, could you for a walk/run instead of the bath? You would probably feel better for getting out of the house totally and being able to switch off more than you can listening to the DC from your bath!

You definitely need some time to yourself. Could you and your DP get a routine going where you each totally get an evening off? Or some time at the weekend?

I know there is nowhere to go eg the gym or a bar, but if you have a car you could just sit in it with the heating on and read (I remember doing stuff like then when mine were little!) Or go for walk, a different one each time? I know it all gets old very quickly. If you can run that would give you a lift and a hobby you could develop, IYSWIM, getting better times and distance instead of walking where you're just repeating the same thing.

You definitely need time to yourself. How is your relationship with your DP generally?

Also, you then have something to look forward to as well, very important when the days are long and hard work. Knowing you can get totally out of the house at 7pm might keep you going!

Me too, OP. I've become that horrible friend that no longer reads or responds to their text messages / watsapp.

But I know all the conversations will be the same old v v boring 'we are good, how are you?' ...'yeah fine. Hows things?' .. 'you know, just bored' .. 'yeah, and weather getting colder'.
I just can't do it any more. My mind is numb. I will resurface in a few weeks and hope that my friends still want to know me!

I'd consider doing a course that will either interest you or help you look employable once the time comes. There are free courses online at Open Uni and my local library offerers loads too. Just something to do.

Btw - I took two free online courses last lockdown. I've added them both to my CV. At least it shows I'm keen to continue learning.

@Bbq1

You're very fortunate. I work in a school with bubbles bursting daily as staff go down with covid, my ds in on Year 10 around the age where it's apparently spreading fast. My dh has continued going out to work since the first lockdown. It's all very exhausting and very stressful. You aren't at much risk, nor are your kids or your dh. I'm sure a lot of us would just like to have the 'problem' of a 'dull' life atm but be safe at home. Do activities with your dc, find things to do. Appreciate how fortunate you are.

Not everyone is the same though. I also work in a school in a Tier 3 area, surrounded by people testing positive daily, and am infinitely happier than I was stuck at home on my own. Just because you think other people's lives sound easy, doesn't necessarily mean they wouldnt also want to swap with you if they had the chance.

I totally understand where you are coming from.
I don't think you are actually bored, but I do think you are finding it hard to have had the structure removed from your day-to-day life.
Have you tried "timetabling" your week?
There are things that need to be done every day, every couple of days, once a week, once a fortnight etc. Make a list and then arrange them into a schedule that suits you. For example, if you are a morning person, put the "chores" into the morning.
Make sure you have blocks of "free" time.
In the free time, schedule more enjoyable activities with children and your husband. They can be family activities, solo activities or activities for just the 2 of you.
I would expect/hope that most of the "free" time can be scheduled over the weekend.
Oh and do not be afraid to schedule chores for other members of the family ;-)

Everything is a bit grey this year. Come and join us on the Trapped Parents of Toddlers support thread in Chat

It sounds like you need a bit of time to yourself. I know it's lockdown but if anywhere is doing takeaway coffee, a coffee in the car with a book is nice for a bit of peace and quiet.

Covid has cast a bit of a grey paralysis over everything I find. It's like there's no point making plans- but at the same time there is because nothing lasts forever

Looking into studying or retraining might be a good idea. Trying out a new hobby - something you can do for an hour in the evening.

I find that my mood flatlines fairly quickly if I don't get exercise and fresh air every day

Planning a holiday too- I'm planning a very big and significant trip for 2022, I'll be visiting my family home in a different country and have started learning the language in advance.

Being at home with preschool kids is a bag of shit at the best of times OP.
Self-care is really really important.
Is there anyone you can just go for a walk with the pushchairs (think that's still allowed) if it's a sunny day etc. Any kind of social contact helps.
Try and get out for fresh air everyday if possible. Get the kids to collect pine cones, conkers, autumn leaves or whatever to make it more interesting.
You said you like reading, I read on the kindle app on my phone in the bath, just be careful not to drop it in.
If you like doing anything creative can you build it into a family activity. Or think about making Xmas decorations/gifts-early I know. Making something you can see is rewarding and doesn't have to be expensive.

If your wage woukdnt cover nursery fees could you maybe get a job one evening and one day at the weekend just to get out? A change of scene, a rest from the kids and a bit of spending money might make all the difference?