DC really struggling with uni online

[socksonacushion]

DC1 is having a really tough time at the minute. They came home from studying abroad in March very abruptly, without any time to process what was happening or chance to say goodbye to friends etc. Then spent lockdown at home with me. Uni friends were spread across the country and very few friends in home town, so mostly spent March until September with me and DC2.

In September they started uni again but have since come home as classes have all moved online. They are really struggling with loneliness and the stress of the last eight months as it's been one thing after another with no respite or time to get over things. They have been keeping in touch with friends online but obviously this isn't the same as face to face contact. Think they're starting to struggle to keep up with uni work due to lack of focus and exhaustion, which just isn't like them as they are very hardworking and studying has always come naturally to them.

I'm at a loss as to how to help. They have been in tears, sobbing and completely wiped out. What can I do?

No suggestions but your DC has my sympathy. Students have got such a raw deal. It's so unfair.

This isn't an education. It's just not.

Thank you @Wildswim.

Would it be worth encouraging them to tell someone from the university? Not sure that there would be anything that could be done and I'm sure many others are in the same boat but it might help DC to know that someone knows they're struggling.

Yes it would certainly do no harm - their advisor of studies is normally the person to go to for pastoral issues, but there will also be a student welfare officer I imagine.

I think your DC needs to know they are.not alone, that thousands of young people and students are struggling and feel the same way.

It also sounds like they need a good break and rest from it.

My DC1 felt the same when sent home in March although it didn’t come to the surface for a few weeks. She struggled with focus anyway due to the lack of structure and contact time - online learning was the last straw. Over the summer she decided not to return to uni which we didn’t think was a good idea in the current job market, however she has secured herself a higher level apprenticeship which is paying her a salary that she would have been happy with as a graduate so it has worked out well so far. It’s very tough on students - they weren’t getting much value for money before and they certainly aren’t now. I think it’s disgraceful.

The university will likely have support and counseling available, so I would look to that as a starting point.

My dd only started yr 1 a few weeks ago snd is not enjoying it.

I can’t see her going into yr 2 the way things are going.

@socksonacushion I'm sorry that your DC is having such a rubbish time. I work in a Uni and we are trying really hard to do as much as we can for the students but it's all just utterly crap isn't it? They are missing out on virtually all of the usual student experiences, especially the social side.

Like other posters have advised please do encourage them to talk to their personal tutor the uni can't help if they aren't aware of what is going on. The uni must also have some form of counselling / student support service available via online appointments. Also I would recommend considering a GP appointment for a general wellness and mental health check.

Your DC definitely isn't alone, it might also be worth them checking out what their Student Union is doing, many clubs and societies are meeting virtually, and facebook groups etc.

Best of luck to your DC, I'm glad that they came home to you.

This isn't an education. It's just not.

I recently participated in a staff/student liaison meeting. Student reps were present from all years and all courses. It was clear that, overall, our students are satisfied with the education they are receiving. They may not be happy with the social restrictions forced on them by current circumstances, but we didn't discuss those.

Yes it would certainly do no harm - their advisor of studies is normally the person to go to for pastoral issues

I would suggest that, in the first instance, that they speak to their personal tutor, if they have one.

@Bwlch - I also work in a University and fully agree. It is education. Our academics are bending over backwards in providing content in all sorts of different ways to keep it manageable and interesting for students and making sure they’re covering all learning outcomes. The OFS are being shit hot on this as well, universities must not let the standard of teaching drop.

It’s the rest of the experience that’s the problem, and we’re trying our best to get students engage but we’ve got a really poor take up for online events. We want to build a community feeling and ensure they get the social side but if they won’t engage online, we’re stuffed, as there’s no other way to do them right now.

I'm not sure if the OU (Open University) is still a thing, but I think some of the universities will need to take a leaf out of their book as a temporary measure. I know someone who was an OU student as far back as 2003 and that was 100% distance-learning.

I really feel for the students though. Distance-learning should be a choice, not an order. The students should be living their own lives, learning how to live away from parents, going out ,budgeting, socialising, not being stuck at home.

I'm not sure if the OU (Open University) is still a thing, but I think some of the universities will need to take a leaf out of their book as a temporary measure.

I have to admit I really struggled not to write a sarcastic response to this, but ... do you not realise that's what universities have been doing since March?

None of us looked at lockdown (the first lockdown) and though 'oh goodie, I'll put my feet up until they reinstate face-to-face teaching'. Everyone I know has been frantically trying to learn all they can about online delivery, about how to support students, for months.

OP, I'm so sorry. It's a rotten situation. It really is.

There's a huge difference between signing up to the OU which has a wealth of professionally produced multimedia course materials and video lectures that the uni staff have had to produce on their own with their phones, laptops etc.

OP, my DC is also suffering from online uni and i think the only thing you can do is offer reassurance, lots of tea/biscuits and a shoulder or an ear when required.
There should be someone (or someones) at the uni they can call, message or email, certainly a pastoral team or course chair?

I started my PhD during lockdown so I've been doing my work from home and motivation to study/write is seriously low. I'm also teaching an undergraduate class and while we're trying really hard to make it engaging and supportive, it just doesn't compare with face to face teaching.

Definitely encourage them to reach out. There are departments specifically for student support and they won't be the only person feeling like this.

It is also worth pointing out that the OU should be good at delivering distance learning. They have been doing it for over 50 years. The rest of us have been doing it for seven months!

It is very difficult for students at the moment. From speaking to quite a few, I don't think it is the online learning itself that is the problem for many but it is the lack of contact with other students. This is perhaps worse for your DC if they are at home rather than living with other students. I can understand why your DC came home but was that the best decision? Could they move back next term?

I'm not sure if the OU (Open University) is still a thing, but I think some of the universities will need to take a leaf out of their book as a temporary measure.

I'm studying with the OU at the moment, last year's exams were badly impacted, student groups have not been able to meet, they have been impacted.

I've been offered a resit on an 'exam' that had to be taken online rather than as a physical exam.

I'm not sure how to help either, this is so sad. A friend and I were discussing this only a few weeks ago, we were in the same flat in Germany during our Erasmus years (though we went to different UK universities) and we were saying we would have been devastated to cut it short as it was the best year of our lives :(

And of course bloody Brexit means current can't catch these experiences up later.

I also think that even those who like working from home are beginning to struggle a bit with motivation now. It's very difficult to keep up momentum with work or study when you never see anyone. I've seen one group of colleagues once since March.

As for living at home rather than at uni, I suppose it depends if you are in a single room in a hall of residence and not allowed out, or in a flat or hall with several other students.

[quote Jammydodger1981]@Bwlch - I also work in a University and fully agree. It is education. Our academics are bending over backwards in providing content in all sorts of different ways to keep it manageable and interesting for students and making sure they’re covering all learning outcomes. The OFS are being shit hot on this as well, universities must not let the standard of teaching drop.

It’s the rest of the experience that’s the problem, and we’re trying our best to get students engage but we’ve got a really poor take up for online events. We want to build a community feeling and ensure they get the social side but if they won’t engage online, we’re stuffed, as there’s no other way to do them right now.[/quote]
From what my son says, once they've been online all day watching lectures and joining in online tutorials/seminars, the last thing they want to do is spend even more time doing online social events. They're doing nothing at all F2F on his course, so he's already spending enough time on line. He is spending his "down time" away from the screens with his flat mates, playing card/board games etc.

My son is in his first year of his degree and is really enjoying the course, his flatmates - the whole experience.

I am also in my first year of an OU degree (from home, p/t), finding it fascinating and am also really pleased with how it's been communicated.

It might not be how it's been in the past but it's not affected our enjoyment or interest at all. I submitted my first assignment last Thursday and had it marked and back by Monday. That's really impressive.

DS2 considered coming back home as his learning is now completely online. I am glad he stayed at his rented accommodation as I know he would struggle with study if he came back. March to September was awful, he found motivating himself much more difficult and quickly reverted back to child and me to nagging parent. He started off in March in high spirits but the lack of peer interaction left him pretty low.

From what my son says, once they've been online all day watching lectures and joining in online tutorials/seminars, the last thing they want to do is spend even more time doing online social events.

I can fully empathise. My eyes are stinging at the end of the day.

for you all.

DC spoke to their GP today, which helped. And has contacted someone from the university so hopefully that will help too. Thank you all for your help.

It's absolutely not the same. It is doable but motivate yourself to sit at a laptop for hours and then write essays.

I'm ok, I own my house, I have the time to write shit but it is isolating and hard and I want to sit in lecture theatres and have seminars and workshops because they are invaluable.

It is shit for kids who moved away and are stuck in little rooms with a laptop.