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AIBU?

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Original poster

Failed driving test 5 times. Should I give up?

116 replies

Lola0426 · 04/11/2020 19:27

Hi guys,

I hope you're well and in the best of health.
I have unfortunately failed my 5th driving test today. I was really hoping to pass with us going into lockdown tomorrow and I presume the wait for next available tests would be very long.

I've recently bought a car so for the past couple of months, DH has been teaching me to drive. I have learned a lot from the last time I took a test (last year). I thought this would be the time I pass. I drove really well, managed my nervous which I thought I wouldn't be able to do. But on the way back to the test center the examiner said I made a dangerous mistake on a roundabout and gave me a serious because a builder was in the middle of a street with cars parked on both sides and had to close his van door and move out of the way so I can get through. I don't quite understand how this is a serious offence.

The examiner was very unpleasant, didn't say a word the whole journey and made me change my face mask because apparently the first one I was wearing "wasn't covering my nose", which wasn't true. But, thank God, I had a spare surgical mask in my car, even then she was complaining, I had to pull it all the way up so it was almost sitting on my bottom eyelashes.

I feel very disheartened, disappointed and discouraged 😞 and I think maybe driving isn't for me..have anyone felt this before? I'm in between two mind; to stop or continue until one day I perhaps may pass.

OP posts:
LunaNorth · 04/11/2020 20:41

I passed on the 6th go. Don’t give up!

WitchesGlove · 04/11/2020 20:42

@kayakingmum

I don't know. I think some people are not capable of learning to drive. My sister spent many years learning. No driving instructor would put her in for her test. Eventually she accepted it and now lives near a main line station so she can get around. I wouldn't want to spend good money after bad. I would give it another 6 months.
Did she try with an automatic?
Tiredmum100 · 04/11/2020 20:44

Don't give up. I ahem, passed on my 7th time. I'm so glad I kept at it. I'm not a bad driver at all, just incredibly nervous! Good luck and fingers crossed 🤞 for you.

trunumber · 04/11/2020 20:45

Took my aunt 15 times but she's been driving for 40 years now

GrimSisters · 04/11/2020 20:50

I finally passed on my 5th go, many years ago now. Had a wobble after my first test and didn't try again for ages and could kick myself for not getting myself through it in time to be able to legally tow or drive a minibus without incurring further cost!

It took a gung-ho attitude and a few beta blockers washed down with half a glass of wine to finally get me through it and I still cried because the examiner was so horrible.

Keep going and don't give up.

PenCreed · 04/11/2020 20:55

I failed 5 tests, then gave up for several years. Tried again when I'd moved town, had a great instructor and finally passed. For years, I really thought I would never do it. It is horrible, my instructor told me the morning of my test that he was concerned I was either going to throw up or just decide not to do it because I looked so nervous. But I did! And you will, just don't get too disheartened.

emilyfrost · 04/11/2020 20:58

If you haven’t had professional driving lessons and only learned from your husband then of course you’ll be making mistakes.

I would invest in some proper lessons and I’m sure you’ll get much better.

cadburyegg · 04/11/2020 20:58

I don’t think you should give up but plenty of people make the mistake of just booking another test straight after they failed one test and not addressing anything that might help them pass.

Some suggestions:

  • continue having driving lessons with a professional instructor. I’m sure your DH is a good driver but it’s not so much learning how to drive once you get to this stage, it’s getting you up to test standard that you need now.
  • try learning in an automatic.
  • have a minimum of one lesson a week. Don’t leave huge gaps between lessons.

(obviously post lockdown)

RB68 · 04/11/2020 21:07

Keep going. Just get lots of practice in with DH in the passenger seat. If it seems to be observational stuff a good trick is to narrate what you see. It also sounds like there might be some confidence issues around where you can and can't fit the car so practice will help with that.

Baws · 04/11/2020 21:10

Don’t give up! It took me 7 attempts in total, 4 before kids and then another 3 tests after kids.
I think the PP who insinuated that you should give up is being unnecessarily harsh. No decent instructor would put people in for their test if they didn’t think they were ready. Most people don’t pass first time, and people usually fail due to nerves or bad luck on the day, not inability to drive. I found that comments like ‘oh you failed again?’ were not helpful and only increased my nerves. Like others I took a beta blocker and didn’t tell people I had a test. Keep going OP, you can do it!

GrumpyHoonMain · 04/11/2020 21:14

Keep going. If you only made one major mistake then you aren’t a bad driver you just need a bit more practise. Go over the rest routes with your DH and make him be really strict with you - if he isn’t a good driver himself then it’s best to hire in a professional.

SirSamuelVimes · 04/11/2020 21:17

I passed on my 7th. I am a decent enough driver, but went to pieces in my tests. Got beta blockers from the gp in the end, passed straight away with those.

Don't give up!

Sunshinespacecadet · 04/11/2020 21:20

I took it 6 times. I passed it on the sixth time as I gave myself permission to the fail manual test 10 times and then start with automatic. That seemed to calm my nerves. I’ve been driving 38 years

Sunshinespacecadet · 04/11/2020 21:21

Definitely try beta blockers like pp said

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 04/11/2020 21:21

Stick the L plates on the car and keep driving with your Dh instructing until you can book another test. Even try a different test centre.

There are lots of driving test videos on YouTube so you can see why some people fail tests and some of them both Dh and I disagree with the examiner. We have both been driving for 25 years plus. Even the examiner is then failed by another examiner in his local area as everyone knows to stay right at this roundabout. So even they can't agree on the rules of the road and they are driving instructors.

eeek88 · 04/11/2020 21:21

Definitely don't give up!

I failed 1 theory and 4 practicals. It came as a real shock because I'd never failed a test in my life and suddenly I seemed incapable of passing. The more tests I failed, the more I believed I would fail, and that wasn't helpful. Every time I failed it was for a different thing and usually just 1 major and a few minors. But eventually I had a good day and passed.

About 10 years later I took a towing test and to my astonishment I passed first time. I was fully expecting to have to take it 5 times and viewed the first as a chance to take me one step closer to the one I'd eventually pass.

marypoppinsreturns · 04/11/2020 21:21

Don't give up! I passed 7th time too. It was always something different so I could do it, just fell apart on test day. Strangely, on the one I passed, the examiner was very unpleasant and I was convinced I'd failed again all the way through! Can't imagine not being able to drive now.

mummypie17 · 04/11/2020 21:33

I'm sorry that you didn't pass today. It took me 5 times to pass and I did it last month. Don't give up! Once you pass you won't remember all the times you failed.

WanderingMilly · 04/11/2020 21:41

You will do it, don't give up. I know it's awful having to keep going back, I had to do it myself. But worth it, you will pass in the end.

I couldn't "do" gears and chose to learn on an automatic, it was the only way I could pass in the end. Keep going and good luck!

KenDodd · 04/11/2020 21:46

Don't give up!

I know someone who passed on his 13th attempt.
Mind you, he is a really shit driver, I don't know how he ever managed to pass his test.

Skysblue · 04/11/2020 21:52

I’m sorry OP. The tests are so so unfair. I failed all of the tests I took in London but the test I took in Guildford was easy 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Please don’t give up. When you’re old driving will give you so much independence, especially if DH is poorly or whatever.

I’m sorry it’s such a shit system ☹️

user1469695360 · 04/11/2020 22:01

My sister passed 7th time, and 1 of my friends 6th time... dont give up

Original poster
Lola0426 · 04/11/2020 22:05

Your messages are all very motivating, so thank you so much for taking the time to write your lovely encouraging comments.

I've had professional driving lessons for about 4 years (on and off). By my 20th lesson, my instructor said I was test ready and had my first test a week before I gave birth to DD. Then, had a few months' break. Got back to driving & unfortunately experienced an accident during my lesson. A reckless driving was flying through, lost control & hit the back of my instructor's car, he admitted his wrong doing. I was traumatised and this kind off put me off driving & affected my confidence. Failed all tests after that.

I think I may just have been unlucky to experience a car crash whilst learning to drive.

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 04/11/2020 22:17

I passed on my 7th so dont give up!

Smudgefell · 04/11/2020 22:29

Keep going! It doesn't matter how many tests you take, they're all practice for the one you pass Smile God I was nervous when I took (all of) mine! I was surprised when I actually passed.

I passed on my fourth attempt and still had quite a few minors. I think I'm a reasonably good driver now. I learned later in life which made me feel a bit stupid when all the others taking their test were 18 year olds, but I needed to drive when we moved and now I love driving.

Don't give up and don't worry about being nervous as it's totally normal. You will get there in the end and be swearing muttering under your breath at shit other drivers in no time!