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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed with school?

55 replies

Carlymah · 04/11/2020 17:56

My Autistic son attends a mainstream high school, he's 13 with the mind of a naive pre-teen. For this reason, we monitor closely the content of the apps he accesses, the films he watches and he's also not allowed to walk to/from school because of his vulnerability.

He has just informed me that in his drama class, they've watched a film and he can't get the visions out of his head. The film was a 1991 title "Let him have it" - a crime/drama with an age of 15 on it. It shows in detail (apparently - I've not watched it myself) a man being hung.

This isn't something I'd allow him to watch at home, because of the age on it but also because of the detailed images of someone dying/being killed! The children in his class are all 13/14, would this be something you'd be happy for your child to watch at that age, without your knowledge or consent??

OP posts:
IHeartKingThistle · 04/11/2020 18:54

That's been on the syllabus for donkey's years!

It's a tricky one. I occasionally phone parents of autistic students to give them a heads up on what we're about to study but don't think twice about other things (stabbing and child murder in Macbeth, loads of hangings in The Crucible, shootings in Of Mice and Men. Basically most texts in English and Drama could potentially be triggering. And what about History?

While we are aware of individuals' needs and are as caring as possible, we have to work on the assumption that students in mainstream school can cope with the content of a mainstream curriculum.

IHeartKingThistle · 04/11/2020 18:56

I don't just mean we're aware obviously - I meant we support and meet their needs! It's been a long day!

ilovesooty · 04/11/2020 18:58

I showed it to pupils soon after it came out (admittedly year 11) as part of a module on justice and critical thinking. We examined diagrams and transcripts of evidence too. This was a good many years ago and it doesn't seem to me to be inappropriate material for your son's age group to be aware of.

SansaSnark · 04/11/2020 19:09

Schools are allowed to show media to under age students, if it's for educational reasons. AFIAK, this film is often used in school- I know I watched it when I was at school (I think about 14?) and it's used in the school where I now teach. In a school context, I don't think it's inappropriate for a Y9 class.

I don't remember it being especially graphic, but it's possible we didn't watch the hanging scene? The school perhaps didn't need to show this- it's not the most important part of the film.

How aware are the school of the media he is/isn't exposed to at home?

I think unless you explicitly ask for him to be withdrawn from lessons like this, he will be exposed to 15 rated content more and more in the coming years, so it's probably something to raise with the school.

Meowza74 · 04/11/2020 19:16

We watched that in RE in the 90s.

RattleOfBars · 04/11/2020 19:37

It’s an educational fact based film with a strong moral message.
I don’t think the school was wrong to show it. Most Year 7s will have watched far more violent, graphic films than this one.

When I was in Year 7 we watched Equus (a film with lots of nudity in which a disturbed teenager has an erotic attraction to horses then stabs several horses in the eyes and blinds them). And we watched the modern version of Romeo and Juliet (gun crime, poisoning, suicides and murder) and also a film of Othello, where he graphically strangles his wife to death in bed.

If you want your son to be taken out of these film sessions you need to be clear with the school, especially if they’re studying it or acting out scenes in drama class.

Feellikefrighteningyeah · 04/11/2020 19:49

They should e mail parents first in case of any issues. I know of a family who lost someone to suicide. This could be very upsetting

Original poster
Carlymah · 04/11/2020 20:04

@IHeartKingThistle

That's been on the syllabus for donkey's years!

It's a tricky one. I occasionally phone parents of autistic students to give them a heads up on what we're about to study but don't think twice about other things (stabbing and child murder in Macbeth, loads of hangings in The Crucible, shootings in Of Mice and Men. Basically most texts in English and Drama could potentially be triggering. And what about History?

While we are aware of individuals' needs and are as caring as possible, we have to work on the assumption that students in mainstream school can cope with the content of a mainstream curriculum.

This has just opened up a whole new can of worms 😬 I've not concerned myself too much with the content of the curriculum before now. Its obviously going to become more of a regular occurrence now he's older. He's my first son with Autism (I have a 6 year old who's also ASD) and its a huge learning curve for me as well as him.
OP posts:
Original poster
Carlymah · 04/11/2020 20:08

I think I'll call the school in the morning and request I'm made aware of subjects which may need me to further explain (in terms he better understands) prior to them teaching.

I appreciate all the comments, its certainly made me think about future dilemmas we may face and how best to approach them.

OP posts:
Meowza74 · 04/11/2020 20:08

Is Lord of the flies still on the curriculum?

GreyWall · 04/11/2020 20:09

As a teacher I'd advise to contact the school to discuss. If was a bit stupid of the drama teacher to use this clip.

Original poster
Carlymah · 04/11/2020 20:10

@Feellikefrighteningyeah

They should e mail parents first in case of any issues. I know of a family who lost someone to suicide. This could be very upsetting
Goodness me, yes I imagine this subject could be upsetting.

I think a quick heads up would definitely be the way forward, it gives us parents chance to prep them, children to ask questions etc

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zaphodbeeble · 04/11/2020 20:11

They’ll be using it for RE and the death penalty, we use it at my school, it’s perfectly fine.

Kindnessandcourage · 04/11/2020 20:42

I would suggest you to watch the film or at least the ending in case you haven't done that already . I understand that certain aspects of the curriculum may be difficult for your child to deal with however he has approached you rather than looking it up on the Internet , which in itself is a good sign. So in my opinion your reassurance will mean the world to him. Speak to the school if you feel so that they are careful in future. Flowers

SirGawain · 04/11/2020 20:47

It’s a film about the Derek Bentley case which had an important influence on the capital punishment debate in this country. It is part of our social history. It’s important that school teach history and it’s difficult to do that if you miss out the gory bits.

Emmelina · 04/11/2020 21:51

In a drama class I’d imagine they’re working through the technicalities of a scene.

StripyHorse · 04/11/2020 22:02

I didn't realise children could watch higher certificate films for education purposes.

I am a primary teacher and we always have to get permission to show PG films.

I would talk to the SENCo / ALNCo about it so the teachers can be made aware and adapt lessons for your son if necessary.

Dobbyismyfavourite · 04/11/2020 22:08

Lord of the flies is studied at GCSE @Meowza74

MrMeSeeks · 04/11/2020 22:13

I watched this in english donkeys back and i was 13/14.
Schools can show films if it’s for educational purposes Hmm
I doubt it would be classified as a 15 now.

domesticslattern · 04/11/2020 22:13

Blimey, Equus for Year 7s! Shock

zaphodbeeble · 05/11/2020 06:58

It’s been used in schools for nearly 30 years

Original poster
Carlymah · 05/11/2020 07:15

I'm not disputing its relevance to the curriculum. I was concerned because of the content, his age and the fact they are aware of his additional needs. His brain works differently to his peers and this kind of sensitive subject needs to be approached in a different manner for him, or at least make me aware so I'm able to prepare him for it

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Original poster
Carlymah · 05/11/2020 07:19

@Kindnessandcourage

I would suggest you to watch the film or at least the ending in case you haven't done that already . I understand that certain aspects of the curriculum may be difficult for your child to deal with however he has approached you rather than looking it up on the Internet , which in itself is a good sign. So in my opinion your reassurance will mean the world to him. Speak to the school if you feel so that they are careful in future. Flowers
I plan on watching it tonight, I've been informed of the story by my ex husband. I let him choose a film to watch with me last night, hopefully this helped take his mind off the previous one
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flaviaritt · 05/11/2020 08:05

They should e mail parents first in case of any issues. I know of a family who lost someone to suicide. This could be very upsetting

I’m not sure this is practical. Controversial and sensitive topics will be covered in most classrooms at GCSE. How about, if your child has suffered an adverse experience, you take the initiative and email the school?

Brefugee · 05/11/2020 08:59

I'd check with the teacher.

The Derek Bentley story is incredibly tragic though, a young man with learning difficulties was hanged for a murder that everyone knows he didn't commit. The actual murderer who pulled the trigger didn't get the death-penalty as he was a minor at the time of the crime.

I think it's an excellent teaching tool if done right. But I'd definitely check with the school first to find out exactly what they did show. Then I'd remind them about your son.

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