Split but neither backing down - advice please?

[frazzledbasket]

I'm going to keep it fairly ambiguous as I don't want any bias.
Married couple, 2 primary aged DCs, one soon heading to secondary.

Both professionals working FT, Partner 1 with long commute so effectively longer hours, Partner 2 WFH 90% of the time, both with a good income and both could afford to buy a sufficient property on their own.
P1 is instigating the split, there is no abuse, misbehaviour or foul play on either side. P2 would have preferred to stay together.

Both partners want to stay in the family home as its very close to the DCs school and neither could afford to buy anything quite as close by.
P1 has offered a lump sum to P2 to move out. P2 is refusing as there is more than that in the equity and various savings accounts. P1 also has a substantial pension pot whereas P2 does not.

It's a stalemate at the moment and neither is budging.
What is a good way forward and also - if this was to go through court what would be the potential outcome?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

The birds nest approach only works if things are amicable and there's no new partners imo.
Can p1 really do 50% of the childcare? I don't mean they pick up the kids from p2's house at 7pm and drop off at 7am so they get "their" day. P2 needs to make sure 50% means that p1 collects the kids from school (or after school club) on their days and pays childcare for half-term/inset and not assume p2 covers them. They need to know that they can't drop off the kids if they are ill on their day. 50% means 50% and considering the possibility of isolation periods after bubbles bursting, they need paid backup

It sounds like p1 is trying to financially take advantage of p2 - can they be trusted to pay 50% of costs? For example if p2 buys Startrite shoes at £50 will p1 transfer £25 immediately or will they ask why £15 Asda shoes weren't purchased. Will they make a fuss over small amounts like £8 (their half) of a school trip?

Buy or rent a flat nearby and take turns at moving into the house with the children on a week by week basis and then into the 2 bed flat.

Children stay and adults move.

Worked well for 2 sets of our friends.

I’d hate the sense that no home was truly mine.

And yet, expecting children to shuttle puts them in the same situation.

@FenellaVelour

I’d hate the sense that no home was truly mine.

And yet, expecting children to shuttle puts them in the same situation.

Exactly. Totally agree @FenellaVelour.

It’s amazing how many people think the birds nest approach would be so difficult, yet they are prepared to pass the difficult on to their children.

The OP describes the perfect situation for birds-nesting. No foul play, both parents seeking 50% and keen to remain with the kids in the family home.

I would think the algorithm for resolving this should be something like

1. Both put in a "bid" to buy the house from the marriage, highest bid gets it. The amount they bid is the value of the house as far as step 2 is concerned.
2. Add up the value of all relevant assets (including pensions and house value from step 1. I would discount the pension balances slightly to take into account future tax on pension income.)
3. Decide split percentages. (Not necessarily 50:50.) Winning house bidder gets the value of the house as part of their share. (If it's more than their share they'll have to get a mortgage and refund the difference.)

@RandomLondoner

I would think the algorithm for resolving this should be something like

1. Both put in a "bid" to buy the house from the marriage, highest bid gets it. The amount they bid is the value of the house as far as step 2 is concerned.
2. Add up the value of all relevant assets (including pensions and house value from step 1. I would discount the pension balances slightly to take into account future tax on pension income.)
3. Decide split percentages. (Not necessarily 50:50.) Winning house bidder gets the value of the house as part of their share. (If it's more than their share they'll have to get a mortgage and refund the difference.)

If they are not married it would only be joint assets in any pot, so the house (assuming joint) and any joint savings accounts/bank accounts.

Could an extension be built on the house? Granny flat type thing?

The house, savings, and pensions all get considered into the financial split. The person moving out could be owed more than is actually liquid.

Selling the house and buying two cheaper properties in the same geographic area is often the better decision financially.