To find being referred to by my initials at work really f*ing annoying

[cricketmum84]

Yah yah I know totally first world problem.

But a colleague of mine has started referring to her entire team and now me just by our initials rather than our names. Eg "thanks for doing that AN" rather than for example "thanks for doing that Anna"

I don't have a common name and there is nobody else in the company with my forename (3000+ employees) so it's not like I'm going to get confused with anyone else.

We have a very close working relationship and are quite friendly yet this whole only using initials thing feels really impersonal and offensive to me.

AIBU unreasonable to be offended by this? And should I say something??

It's basic courtesy & social etiquette to use someone's name or preferred nickname. I'd ask her to use names as it's disrespectful,depersonalising & the message it sends is you're not worthy of a full name, I'll reduce you to initials. (Yes it's fine in meeting minutes or meeting notes)

It's not unusual where I work when referring to colleagues not present, although middle initials are also included if there are any.

We have to use initials when writing anything down (inc emails or even post it notes) for gdpr purposes. Perhaps she's had some data protection training and has taken it a bit too far?
If on a Skype call though first names are used.

That’s very odd, I’ve never heard of anyone doing this.
If it was me I’d definitely tell her not to, my initials are NOB

Verbally or in writing?
If in writing, in what form?
I’ve used initials in written things that were circulated to many people, mainly for brevity when capturing things like actions or notes in minutes or recording actions. But not verbally in conversation, or in group emails with updates where the tone is more conversational.

If she’s doing it literally all the time, in everything then I see your point. Otherwise, I think you might be being unreasonable depending on how/when she’s using initials.

I’d start calling her 69, and then refer to her as 69 for everything. ‘Sure thing, 69’, ‘I was just talking to 69...’ with Bill and Ted guitar moves.

I probably wouldn’t, but I would have a chat with her and tell her to go back to using your regular name. Perhaps she’s just trying to create an in-group and wants you all to call beach other by our initials so you can be buddies.

....stops and reverses back up the thread ....

I thought the OP was referring to in person conversations where initials are used - which is cringeworthy.

Not quite so ironclad when it comes to written documents. Certainly meeting minutes. My experience was to list attendees at top with their initials in brackets, and then use initials throughout for comments or actions.

My only grumble in such cases was that my proper name has 3 capitals, and it's a tad annoying to see people suddenly decide it has 2 (which ups the scope for confusion). But life really is too short.

I’ve never had this. Sounds annoying

You mean verbally right?

In meeting notes is ok

Well it’s def in emails so I don’t see an issue there.

If it’s just since lockdown, maybe her brain is just embracing the shorthand. Like when people says lol irl. She types it so much that that’s now how she thinks?

Of all the hills to die on...

Where I worked it was always initials in meeting notes etc. Referring to someone by initials in conversation was a "privilege" reserved for partners. It did feel weird for a bit once I got there though.....

I wouldn't think anything of @Cosmos45 's email. That's pretty standard in my office. I do not have anyone on my team with the same name, but we have a lot of Daves (doesn't everyone) so I guess it's just become easier to use initials?

I got married 3 years ago and someone still uses my maiden initial though 😂

Some people refer to me by my initials. I don’t mind it, it’s like a work nickname.

You’re being ridiculous though if it’s in written format. Seriously. It’s shorthand.

It would annoy me if it was used to address me, but no issues with using Initals when referring to people and their responsibilities.

At one point at work there were 5 of us with the same initials. People still insisted on using them, particularly in minutes. So I decided to assume that, on the balance of probabilities, it was one of the other UUs and not my task to worry about.

Honestly meeting minutes wouldn't bother me.

It's the personal emails thanking me for helping her out with something where she can't be bothered to just type my name. I mean it's 6 letters and a one sentence email!

She does do it over zoom/Skype meetings too which just makes me cringe.

In written form initials is completely normal. Verbally it is a bit weird.

Oh never though of this being offensive. Our data system logs every single interaction any of us have on a client file. But it logs us by initials. So whenever I answer an e-mail - send a letter- save anything it comes up as being done by SRY (SpookyRhubarbYoghurt).

So i sometimes send memos or the like to others by their initials. So the memo will say to CMT from SRY for example. It is a shorthand.

Very American

I don't think anyone minds though when i refer to them by initials- my line manager calls me a bordlerline offensive sterotyped slur based on my cultural background, - but you tend to know if you are to take offence or not! (It;s not, it is actually banter between a great manager who I respect and like hugely that is acceptable to me).

anyway- it bothers you and it is unneccessary. I'd raise it.

It’s completely normal where I work - secondary school teacher.

We address each other by initials, refer to people in emails using them - always have done in the 10+ years I’ve been in this school

It's dehumanising somehow, it's one step up from a number. What an odd habit she's developed!

I'd say "I would like you to call me Anna, not AM". (That's being on the polite side of assertive).

There's a huge difference between banter and nicknames and what the OP describes here. It's not banter and it's not a nickname.

So it's actually just in emails? If she spoke to you on the phone she would actually say "Good morning Anna" and not "Good morning AN"?

I think fairly normal to use initials when writing emails, especially if you have to refer to a large number of people.