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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask advice re sexless marriage

2 replies

Wornout12108 · 04/11/2020 13:30

I've name changed as it's very personal and I don't want to betray my husbands trust by discussing this with my friends.
I've been in a relationship with my husband for over 20 years, he is 8 years older and we have two young teens.
Things have always been very good sex wise until approx 18 months ago, he had ED issues and went to the Dr about 6 months ago, we've had some good sex but it's very sporadic. I always had the higher sex drive and have found myself recently due to the lack of sex getting very annoyed, upset, depressed and feeling quite worthless.
I miss being touched, held etc, I miss food sex, I go to bed every night hoping for sex then feel disappointed and then cross at myself for getting my hopes up. We've spoken about it, he's happy just hugging I am not, I'm early 40's and feel quite sad that this is it for my sex life or we part ways. I don't want either of those things.
I'm looking for advice, he says he doesn't feel the urge and has had testosterone test about six months ago which was on the lower side of normal but not needing medication according to the doctor.
Please help me with some advice I feel like I'm letting my marriage slip through my fingers as intimacy means so much and I feel genuinely better connected to him when we do have sex.
Is this is ??

OP posts:
PicaK · 04/11/2020 13:34

Rock the boat - it's the right thing to do.
Back to a different Dr.
And off for some counselling for you both cos you need an agreed plan of what to do next.
Whatever you do - don't coerce, force, blame, guilt or cajole. It's a joint problem. Needs a joint solution.

Wornout12108 · 04/11/2020 13:40

Thanks, I do see it as a joint issue and I've been patient, considerate etc so far, sounds pathetic but I'm grieving for our old sex life.

OP posts:
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