To think my dad is being rude?

[ggeer]

Hi I went shopping yesterday and bought my dad a jumper for Xmas.
Now my dad is so hard to buy for and I have to show him things early to make sure he likes it.
Yesterday I showed him it and said do you like it ? He said yes but looks a bit small.
I asked him to try it on and tell me if it fits if not il go into town today (last chance before shops shut ) and exchange it for different size.
Got here today and it's still in bag,he hasn't tried it on.
He said "I couldn't be bothered" he's sat watching tv.
I said well can you quickly try it on as I'm waiting to go in town.
He said he's busy and will try it on later( he's sat reading the paper)
Honestly it's a 2 min job.
The bag is in the corner.
Do you think that's rude ?
You go to the effort of buying a gift and he can't even be arsed to try it on over his shirt.
I've been at his 2 hours now waiting,just made a cuppa,did a bit of tidying etc.
Still sat in front of tv.
I dare not ask again.

Pick up the bag, get on with your day and return the jumper, I wouldn't bother getting him anything else either. If he can't be bothered why would you?

I would just take it back and not get him anything else

Take it and exchange it and leave it. He's rude and he knows it.. and stubborn too :)

Yes hes being incredibly rude, take the jumper back and spend the money on yourself

Yes he is being rude. Take jumper back to shop now, and just move on.

return it. I wouldn't bother getting him a gift, tell him you were too busy and will get round to it soon. And never get him a gift again.

I didn't realise before I was married to an abusive prick how much of a deal it is in accepting a gift as it is giving one.

I don't bother with people who are rude and ungracious, it's one thing to say it's not their cup of tea but another entirely to act like they're doing you a massive favour by accepting a gift you went out of your way to buy, that they actually do like.

Has he always been quite controlling? This can't be a one-off. Return it and get your money back.

He's an arse. Get a refund and buy something nice for yourself. Never buy him anything again.
I never realised how vile some people are since I started reading on this forum.

Either return it and at Christmas say "i couldn't be bothered to get you anything" or leave it and he can wear it or not.

Depends how expensive and if you can or want to afford to write off the money.

TBH i'd just say "stop being an arse, if you want a present that fits try it on. If you don't want a present just say so. Either way stop being an arse"

Easy - return the gift and don't buy a replacement!

Why are you at his house tidying up for two hours? You sound like you are frightened of him. Take the present back. Stop seeing him for a while - lockdown is a perfect excuse. Re-evaluate your relationship - it’s not healthy.

He's being rude. Or, maybe he is worried it is too small and will make him look silly? I would take it back and if he is likely to use a gift voucher, get him one of those. If not, get him a round tuit www.etsy.com/hk-en/listing/562687525/100-round-tuit-laser-engraved-wood-token

Yeah of course he is, do what everyone else suggested, take it back, don't bother exchanging it

I'd say do we have the same father, OP, but mine is dead now.

Yes, it is rude. No, he won't change. It doesn't matter how hard you try to find him a good present or how much money you spend on it, he will not be one bit appreciative.

Mine used to specialise in not even bothering to unwrap presents. He'd leave them for me to unwrap and put away on my next visit. Along with all the cleaning, washing and tidying I used to do for him. He was never grateful for that either.

Why are you worried that he tries it on straight away, he’s not going to wear the jumper for another two months, if you’ve only just brought it you will be able to return it up to some point in January. Just take it back wrap it up and give it to him in December and he can try it on then.

Don’t take it back, that’s just so petty. He’s your dad, I’m sure he’s had to put up with some rude and crappy attitude and behaviour from you at some point.

So rude! Agree, either return it now and don't get him a present at all, or if you really don't want to do that, just give this one to him at Christmas and he can try it on then. He sounds a right pain.

Just take it back and get the next size up. If he said it looks a bit small then it probably is. I'm sure most people can judge their size by just looking at it.

I'd be more concerned about why he couldn't be bothered to try it on. Lack of motivation to do anything could mean he is suffering depression.

Yes he’s rude! Return it and I bet he won’t mention it again

I agree he doesn't deserve a present but if you feel you must, how about a voucher and then if he pulls his face (which he probably will) just say "well you couldn't be arsed trying the jumper I got you on - so this is the result".

Or just no present - does he get a present for you?

I think this is just him tbh.
Same with Birthday /Father's Day cards
He just puts them on fire place and doesn't open them till he wants too
He's tried it on and said it's fine so that's sorted anyway

I've bought my dad a jumper for Christmas for the last four years (boring, I know, but there isn't anything else he wants). I always get a gift receipt and include it in the parcel so he can exchange it himself if needs be - touch wood I've got the size right so far and seen him wearing them during the year, but enclosing the receipt saves worrying.

Oh, good! But seriously, don't bother hovering over him in future. He's probably enjoying a little power rush from keeping you hanging around. 😠

I have to ask, why do you allow him to treat you like this?

I would just leave it... he has it therefore its been gifted and is no longer your issue

too small... to bad, so sad and if you want leave the reciept for him to return it when the shop reopens (all warranties will be extended)

What a strange relationship.
Start acting like his equal. And stop tidying. I can't believe he's happy to let you do that. If he needs a cleaner he should pay for one, probably having 'scrimped and saved all his life' etc etc.