To delay giving up dummy because of covid

[Loustew12]

OK so basically my little boy is 3. He still has his dummy for sleep and nap times although it usually falls out. I'd normally have weaned him off by now but this year as been so stressful that there has never been the right time. I'm struggling with the thought of long winter days with no soft play and nowhere to take him. He is a very lovely engaging and funny boy but is also very highly strung and struggles to manage his emotions and still has frequent meltdowns and acts of defiance. Sometimes his comforters can still help to calm him down and if I'm honest give me a minutes peace to actually make his lunch or dinner or tidy up. With my little girl it was easy to wean her off as she was always out and about with me and distracted. I just can't face doing it at the moment. I'm worried it will just make everyone a whole lot more miserable than we already are. AIBU?

It’s a strange and tough time for everyone. Do what you need to do to get your family through it happily and healthy

Do what works for you and your child. My DS wasn't ready to give his up untill he was 4 and when he did their was no weaning him off and no upset, he was ready. He now has a full set of adult teeth which came through perfectly straight so please don't let people guilt trip you about teeth.

What they said ^

Do what works for your family.

I’m doing exactly the same.

And if I’m honest I’m not pushing toilet training because my child is already so all over the place I think it’d be worse to force it at this point.

Thanks for your supportive replies. I really appreciate it

Snap! My little boy is 3 next month and still has his dummy.
He only has it at bedtime and it falls out while he's sleeping. I just can't get worked up over half an hour of dummy use a day if it gives him comfort.

I disagree. I've taken it off both of mine, one was particularly addicted. They completely forgot about it after 2 or 3 nights. It's not usually a drawn out thing. Are their teeth ok? At 18 months my dentist had concerns, so it was definitely the right thing to do.

Do it at Christmas and get Father Christmas to give him a present for giving up his dummy

I think if you we're going to do it then you'd have to take the cold turkey approach. It will be hard for a couple of days but then he will probably be fine.

But that's only if you want to. There's no law saying he has to stop using it at a certain time.

Do whatever keeps you both sane!!

Yep, unless the dentist has any concerns about his teeth I'd be following a "path of least resistance" approach. It's a shit time for everyone, just do the best you can.

YANBU.

I could of wrote this a few months ago about my DS who's the same age. I'd thought a couple times about getting rid, weaning him off etc but just never did. I suppose shamefully, for an "easier life".

However, nursery then mentioned his speech to me. I felt like such a bad parent & came home, cut them up to stop my own temptation of giving in & binned them.

I wish I had done it sooner (but maybe it was just the right time?) because he asked a couple times for them but by day 3 he never mentioned them again.

Just do whatever works for you

We delayed weaning DD off night time bottles because of lockdown. Her sleep was already interrupted and I had bad insomnia and anxiety, so I just wanted an easy time in the evenings. Felt a little bad but you've got to do what you can to get through this with your sanity intact. A few extra months of bottles or dummies isn't going to ruin their lives!

Let him have it as long as he wants it and it gives him comfort. He’ll give it up of his own accord sooner or later.

One of my dds didn’t give hers up entirely until she was nearly 6, but by then it was occasional and strictly in the privacy of home. You don’t see reception age children with dummies plugged in. And before anyone mentions teeth, hers were always perfect. Unfortunately I couldn’t say the same for the dd who was still sucking her thumb even after she learned to drive.

If not now, when? Are you really not doing it because it will be too stressful for him, or because it could be stress for you? You could try (for a week) and if it doesn’t work out, revisit it at a later date.

Dummies are just as much out of habit than for comfort and it would be good for your son to learn healthier ones.

We tried when ds was 3. He wasn't ready and was upset. Why take away his comfort? He slept 12 hours - def wasn't risking upsetting that!! At 3.5 he binned them all himself. Dd had hers until 7 and has perfect teeth... Own pace ime.

This makes me feel so much better just knowing I'm not alone

That's really reassuring actually, thanks. Sometimes I do think the more you make an issue out of something the more of a battle it becomes.

Agent Johnson. Both, I'd say. He's my baby and I've always been a little over protective over him because he had some health issues early on. I know I am far too soft and seeing him upset causes me so much anxiety. I know his dummy and his soft toy are still important to him at the moment and it just feels cruel (even though my brain tells me I need to do it) He is very very strong willed and over reactive so I'm almost afraid of how he'll react if I'm honest