Some details changed so I can have deniability.
We are staying with a family member and have been for the duration of lockdown. They needed some help after an operation and when the writing was on the wall we ended our tenancy to move in. We offered to pay the bills and buy food (1 person compared to 5) but were asked to just pay the electricity and gas and pick up the house work. Fine.
Both adults worked throughout lockdown me from home full time dh 3 days in the office 2 at home. Kids all school age.
First 4 months was as expected. We fell in and tried not to get caught rolling our eyes. Examples bed linens washed on Monday, uniforms on Tuesday, household clothes on Wednesday. Undergarments must go in the tumbler dryer. Food must be low carb and evening meal consumed within 30 mins of getting home. Imagine how that played out during the lockdown. But I kept a weird inconvenient laundry schedule and make 3 evening meals. Family members cannot keep out of anything. Use this kind of hair brush, let’s all make sure our shoes are lined up, when you read to the children remember and have a drink. All well intentioned but I’ve been an adult 20 years and reasonable competent.
Anyway middle child has some additional needs and has had a bit of bullying. I set aside some time this weekend to spend some one on one time. Dh took the other 2 out of the way. Family member didn’t read the room at all and wanted to spring clean while the house was empty. I explained politely that we had plans (facilitied by me cleaning till midnight so we could). Then they set off into a ramble about house work being a great way to bond abs takes the pressure off. Middle child is sensitive and just wants to be liked so was genuinely upbeat about changing all the lining paper. Eventually family member went off to do their physio so we started the activity and it went really well. Middle talked about the bully at school and understood when I said that the child had a really shit life but it still wasn’t ok to bully. Family member came in, look at the craft and said something about “isn’t it wonderful what I have taught the children in this time” and “let me get some things so we can make it look good”.
I am ashamed to say I cracked and said everything I’ve been holding in. That what they were saying sounded like a compliment but I know it was designed to make us feel bad and they had wasted a day because they are so selfish they couldn’t waste the opportunity of free labour in favour of a child in pain. Tears. Then I said your crocodile tears don’t work on me. No tears but stomped off.
I don’t know whether I’m a horrible person or not. We are guests in their home so should follow their rules but they have been making little digs this whole time.
Plans are afoot to leave but there’s the little matter of the pandemic. I don’t really feel like apologising but should I?
It’s a novel, sorry if I’ve missed anything.