To give up on life

[Strawberries201]

For years now I’ve been trying to better myself and it’s just been one failure after another. I’m a single parent, I had no childcare so tried to start a business which was initially successful but then stopped making money, partly because of me not trying hard enough.

I dropped out of uni when I had DC which I have been trying to restart this year, I don’t understand any of the second year content as I did my first year 5 years ago. As it is all online based now, it’s incredibly difficult to get support, with unanswered emails and unclear guidance.

I’ve now printed off my withdrawal form and feel like a complete faliure, again. I can’t see an end in sight, I was pinning my hopes on being able to finish my degree and go on to a relevant career but it simply isn’t working out. My only hope was changing to a similar course with modules I have a better understanding of, but i have missed the deadline for changing now as too many weeks have passed. I had some serious health issues this year which had a bad impact on my MH and I thought I was finally turning a page

That sounds really difficult, but it doesn't mean you're a failure - it just means that right now you don't feel able to complete your course, due to understandable health issues.

Are you 100% sure you 'need' to drop out? Are there are any dedicated student support services you could get in touch with who could help advocate for you with your department? I was an academic rep at uni for my college so I did this a lot of the time - it was useful when students didn't know where to go and we would help signpost to the right place and then chase up support for them.

If it's still not going to be possible to continue, do you have any ideas what you'd like to do next? Are there alternative routes to what you want to do, or similar careers with different entry routes? What's important to you - is it earning well, flexibility, the type of work you do, etc? You'll feel less stressed and overwhelmed at the thought of this plan ending if you have a new one (even the vaguest idea) in place :)

Are you getting support for your MH? Executive function and memory are both affected by anxiety, depression, PTSD etc, so that could be contributing to your difficulties and then that contributes to low self-esteem.

And lastly - be gentle with yourself. It has been a HORRIBLE year, and worse for you by the sounds of it, and maintaining a degree and a child is hard work. People take all kinds of paths to changing or improving their lives: it's not always an A to B kind of thing. Focus on getting better and making a plan and you'll be in a better position to tackle whatever you decide to do next.