WWYD work one stress or AL?

[Covidbegone]

Mainly on here for traffic but WWYD?

My DP very recently lost a parent, and just a few weeks later has spent the last week in hospital with a very serious illness. He has started turning a corner and hopefully home this week, but last week was quite stressful worrying how he would be, and taking care of our DC.

When DP lost his DF, I took 2 bereavement days, one on the day his DF died, and the other on the day of the funeral, although I took the rest of that week as AL to be with him.

Now when DP went into hospital I had taken a day AL, it wasn’t planned that way it just so happened. I spoke with my boss who said we would sort out the rest when I return. Now MIL thinks I should be having last week and this week as ‘stress’ leave and be available to help DP recover at home. I should stress I do currently work from home.

But when I’ve spoken to DP he thinks I should be back working this week. I’ve never been off work with stress ever, and don’t even know how you would go about getting a sick note. I’ve worked out a plan of how I would have taken leave for last week, but should I really be rushing back? I’m also conscious that I have young children and a lot of school holidays to cover over the next year and not so much AL. Would I be unreasonable to ask for a sick note?

If you are genuinely too stressed to work then do it... if not then don't.

I have been extremely stressed and anxious this last month... I have however continued working..

No one can say what is best, only you know xx sending hugs tho op as you've had a terrible time of it lately.

Stress leave? Carers or compassionate maybe although at my place of work they wouldn't run to 2 weeks.

That's not me being a martyr by the way, I think fir me taking time off would've made it even harder to return!

I agree with carers leave not sick leave

That’s just it. I didn’t take it when FIL died, mainly as I felt a bit of a fraud as he wasn’t my Dad, although I was massively upset and wanted to be there for DP. When I spoke to a manager they told me that other team members had gone to GP for a sick note for 2 weeks off for similar loss. I didn’t think I should as tbh part of me probably quite naïvely thinks I’ve worked there for so many years and haven’t been one to go off sick, so when something bad happens I’d hope they believe me. But then there’s HR and form filling and all those boxes that have to be ticked

Carers leave can only be taken for up to 2 days and he’s been in hospital over a week with a pretty serious illness, so those 2 days go nowhere in the scheme of things

To be honest, I think it would be a waste of the doctors time to ask him to retrospectively give you a sick note for stress just to save annual leave, especially when you weren’t actually off work for stress. I would take the 2 days careers leave and the rest annual leave

What’s to stop you working from home this week? If your hospital is the same as mine then you won’t be able to visit under full lockdown (ours stopped all visitors when we went to tier 2)

I also hate how getting a sick note for “stress” seems to come up as a way to take time off for any reason. Completely detracts from people who are genuinely stressed and makes them look like chancers

If you are genuinely stressed then I suggest you make a (genuine) doctors appointment for help with if

That’s exactly why I didn’t go to GP when FIL died, even though a manager in work suggested it. I personally feel it breeds a sick note culture, but then when you are having a pretty shit run of things how do you get the time off you need to sort things out without going to a GP? I get that protocol exists for a reason, but I think managers should know their staff and understand when someone’s swinging the lead.

To be clear, had DP not been rushed in last week he could have died and it was also half term, so I was hardly twiddling my fingers. I was trying to be mum and keep things running while not knowing if DP treatment was working, not being able to see him and not being able to have any help from shielding family.