To feel nervous about DD’s gymnastics?

[LostInMoab]

DD(6) started gymnastics at the beginning of the year. Prior to March, I would watch at least 15 minutes of the session and it was all very relaxed and fun. The gym has just reopened and obviously parents can’t congregate indoors any more so no watching. She’s also moved into a competitive track so isn’t in the same class she used to be.

AIBU to feel a bit uneasy about not having any idea what goes on in the gym given the sport’s history or does the fact that I didn’t see anything negative going on in the recreational classes mean that the competitive ones should be okay too? (She has the same coach.)

Not sure if I should be feeling nervous or not really.

I did gymnastics for years & think it's really good for kids, but I'd be very concerned about a club that's moved a real beginner into the competitive group so quickly! And yes, with the abuse that happens in gymnastics, I wouldn't be happy not watching. As unfair as that might be on recreational instructors.

British gymnastics is currently being torn apart, it’s shocking the amount of abuse that’s gone on from young ages, from being trained beyond their limits to young kids scared to drink a bottle of water as their coach will say they weigh too much. No doubt this goes on in other competitive sports too

The downie sisters, ruby and Lucy have been get vocal on Twitter www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/womens-sport/2020/07/08/former-gymnasts-reveal-shocking-extent-abuse-inflicted-coaches/amp/
I hope change is coming after all the revelations around the world on abuse in gymnastics

Witches sorry I didn’t explain that well, it’s not competitive but a track to getting into the competitive squad. I wish I could watch. But parents aren’t allowed into the building at all at the moment because of Covid.

Perfectly understandable feeling & I think you should be vigilant bearing in mind all the current controversy within gymnastics but if she's enjoying it & coming out happy then leave it.

Dd2 was in gymnastics for years. Parents not attending class is normal for me. It is also safer for the gymnasts. Better focus and less distractions.
Take your cue from your DD. Does she love to go to gymnastics? Does she come out of class buzzing and in great form?

Or does she seem nervous before class and a bit down/upset after class?

My 5 year old does gymnastics I am fine with not watching. She tells me what she does and is happy to go. So that's enough for me. Parents being there with covid around would put me off far more. Call me nieve but most people are good. If u got a good vibe from the coach and your daughter likes it I wouldnt worry. Maybe just chat to her about it lots and investe any red flags if they arise from the conversation. But a blanket I need to be there is ott imo.

I don't see how they can have parents in during a pandemic. I would think a class of children is a very low risk environment for stranger abuse.

DD has just started and was put straight into the competition group. I'm not surprised because she is very good. If your DD us managing the routines and enjoying it then it's fine.

I was a gymnast from the age of 4 to giving up at 13 and my coach was eventually jailed for child sex offences. We all knew that he 'loved' one of the members of the group. She was probably around 8 when I first joined. She used to have sleep overs at his house.

I'm not saying that all gymnastics is rotten but there is a core of sadistic, bullying and sexually predatory coaches that have been involved for years. Hopefully recent revelations will shake some of that in to the open.

I was repeatedly told that there is no such thing as tiredness and taught to override my own body signals/ injuries etc. I'm not sure I would put a child of mine into it as a result. There are plenty of other sports without that toxic atmosphere around them.

There’s a tendency for “competitive” clubs to stream kids early and expect a lot of training time from them. But there are lots of clubs whose aim isn’t at National championships / elite stream gymnastics. The former has more issues with abuse than the latter.

Does your DD like it? Does she complain of aches and pains the day after gymnastics? Does she practice fun stuff at home or is she miserably holding planks etc? Can your DD tell you she wants to quit?

But any activity that has a “competition stream” and demands long hours in order to stay in that stream, and does so from age 5 or 6 has huge potential for bullying/ abuse as it’ll seem “the norm” to all the kids in squad.

YABU, sorry.

Not sure it will be happening at all this month.

My daughter went into a very strict presquad at 6. I wish she hadn't. I didnt really know any better.

You are clearly feeling uncomfortable, listen to this. I would have little or no confidence in British Gymnastics at present because they have not demonstrated an open and honest response to this issue. At this age I would not be happy for my child to be doing this without me being aware of what was happening in the class.
If you do want to keep her doing gymnastics as an absolute minimum I would want to talk to them about safeguarding and have assurance that there are always at least two adults present who have safeguarding training and enhanced DBS.

Thanks for all the responses, they seem pretty mixed and some good practical tips.

Yes - she is buzzing going in and out, and when she tells me things that her coach has said to her, they seem fairly benign (“just keep practising and you’ll get there” type stuff). Of course I don’t expect to watch given Covid (we are in Scotland so not affected by English lockdown) but I guess it’s such an unknown environment for me and, given the state of BG, I do worry.

However - DD has always been open and communicative so I’ll keep chatting to her about it and taking her cues. She doesn’t ever complain of aches and loves practicing at home, and setting up ‘equipment’ for her younger brothers.

It sounds like your DD is having fun and enjoying it.

The thing that concerned me about my DD and her gymnastics is that there’s a whole culture of coaches bullying gymnasts in some gyms - people don’t get to the olympics without hard training but IMO very young children aren’t choosing that path in an informed way, so much as accepting it as “normal” because they’re so young. To me it’s a systemic failure of gyms picking out young children for gruelling schedules (eg 10 hours training a week for a 6-year-old is patently wrong).