To insist on seeing my mum

[TheoriginalLEM]

My mum went into a care home after an extended hospital stay. She had a fall this morning and has broken her hip and needs surgery.

Her anaesthetic risks are high due to her complex medical conditions, an aortic aneurysm and addisons being the most significant, along with COPD.

It would be niave of me to think there is a good prognosis here. The drs were flapping to get her to st Thomas's hosital for urgenr surgery when the aneurysm was discovered , but it was decided that she was too much of an anaesthetic risk for thissurgery so she was high risk then, she is much more frail now having recently had an addison crisis and sepsis.

I know there is a good chance this could be it. She is 85.

The protocol is end of life only visits but realistically it might be.

Can i insist on seeing her? The last time i saw her was in hospital when i told her she wasnt coming home and she reacted badly (as predicted). Shes my mum, i want to tell her i love her .

Fucking covid is fucking everything

In your shoes I would. My mum.isnt any younger either and it's a really hard call. But on balance I would. I'm really sorry your in this horrible situation. Sending you much strength x

I think, if this is a risky op, you could claim it as an end-of-life visit. I'm so sorry.

I wasn't allowed to see my mum in last lock down while in hospital , and she died so definitely insist . You can't get the time back 😞

We’re booking visits for patients with negative covid swabs so speak to them and ask xx

Im so sorry dexy

Your visit cant make her any worse. Go and see her, and say what you need to. I think COVID concerns are a matter of conscience when it comes to end-of-life. I would hate to not be able to say goodbye if i was dying.

Yes definitely insist with the agreement you wear full PPE . Any problems and contact PALS ..they will liaise with the ward .💐

100% insist on seeing her. Thinking of you both 💐

If she’s that high risk maybe they would do it with a spinal block whilst she’s awake? I’ve met several patients who’ve chatted to the surgeon doing their hip replacement -not something I’d want to go through awake.
I hope you get to see her.

I'd try, in your shoes. I know you need closure for yourself, as well as just seeing your mum.

Yes.

Who the hell voted YABU?!

I would definitely insist OP. This whole situation is horrific.

Hip replacement under nerve block christ on a bike, id not fancy that either. I dont think my mum would be a good candidate for that, she has dementia and mental health issues sadly.

I guess they will look at all the options. I asked if there was an alternative and the answer today was not really. However i wonder if this may chamge after tomorrow.

@Didntgetmydiamondring

If she’s that high risk maybe they would do it with a spinal block whilst she’s awake? I’ve met several patients who’ve chatted to the surgeon doing their hip replacement -not something I’d want to go through awake. I hope you get to see her.

I'm admittedly much younger but I had my hip replacement done under local anaesthetic.

I'm so sorry @TheoriginalLEM . I hope you get to see your mum.

You can't insist on anything. You can ask, and they can tell you what their visiting policy is.

It is incredibly shit for everyone. But we have to protect our patients from extra risk therefore tight visiting restrictions are in place in most places.

Arundelclassrom

I really hope someone brings a legal challenge to such visiting policies. They’re inhumane.

Just as an aside as a passing anaesthetist. We do huge numbers of hip surgery (both planned hip replacement and broken hips) under spinal block. Totally numb from belly button down. Just like a c-section. Quicker recovery often and less decline in cognitive function in the elderly

But it doesn’t massively reduce the risk compared to a GA. Because the risk isn’t the anaesthetic per se but the combined risk of a serious injury and major surgery in a very frail patient. Yet doing nothing isn’t an option, so these ops are often an almost palliative to relieve pain and distress.

For sure we are not allowing the unrestricted visiting of 2019. But we have put in place measures to allow some visiting in controlled circumstances with the aim of keeping EVERYONE safe. In the first instance call the ward manager and have a chat and see if something can be arranged

Mum is in surgery today. I managed to see her very briefly as the ward kindly let me stand in the doorway of the bay. Mum was her usual feisty self, telling me she didnt want to be there and that she would go back when her leg is better. So i dont think i'll push for a visit post op!

Very grateful i able to see her as it reassured me that she would be ok (as ok can be) under GA.

It’s good you got to see her. I hope the surgery goes well

@TheoriginalLEM hope everything went well today

I would. I didn’t see my gran prior to lockdown, then during lockdown she was taken to hospital. 2 weeks alone and she died with no one and no one got to say goodbye. I regret it so so much. On a separate note they put covid on the death certificate yet her test for it was negative. Go figure!

Just saw your update, sorry, glad you got to see her! Bless her she sounds lovely!

Thought it might be better to come find you here rather than derail the other thread. I'm glad you got to see her before she went in. Let us know when you know how she is.