AIBU - heavily pregnant and isolating, DM being risky with contacts

[Anothercliche]

Background: I'm heavily pregnant (over 38 weeks) and have a planned c section in a weeks time. I've been told to be extra careful and will be having a covid test on Thursday after which I (and my partner) have to isolate until the op.

I have a very active 2.5 year old, my partner works full time and I only finished work last week.

My mum has come over from France to help out with childcare and give me a bit of a break in the run up to the birth and once the new baby is here.

Over the past 3-4 months, as well as our jobs we have also been working unbelievably hard to renovate a house that my mum could stay in (she didn't want to stay at ours when there's a baby to disturb her sleep). We also purchased a second car last week so that mum could use our main car over the 2 months that she's here.

Mum has been quarantining since she arrived, and came out of quarantine last Thursday. She looked after DD on Thursday and Friday. She then announced she had an appointment on Saturday that she needed to go to, and was busy today. I found out when she came to dinner last night that "busy today" was she had a lunch date. She wouldn't give details but I gathered it was a first date, from online dating.

This morning, following the lockdown announcement last night she then asked how much I would need her this week as she wanted to see my sister and her daughter (live in London, not isolating at all), and my step sister and her two daughters (live in Brighton, not isolating at all), on Tuesday and Wednesday this week, and that she had a lash appointment on Wednesday. But that she'd be free from Thursday onwards to help (once lockdown is enforced, and when I will have to be completely isolating).

AIBU to be upset and disappointed that she's putting herself and my sisters first, having lots of contact with people which basically means I won't get anymore help from her until after the c section now? Particularly since I've been working so hard to make sure there's a house and car for her to use while she's staying here? (NB she is paying for the use of both at her own insistence, but far below market rates)

Hmm well it’s difficult, but she doesn’t have to help you. I mean I don’t think it’s that common for a mum to move country and life in a house to help her kid with her kids.
She should be be mixing households at all as a general rule. However that isn’t related to helping you. So if you want her help I would tread carefully.

Also your breaking the rules anyway if she is moving ina seperate house and you are not single then she shouldn’t be coming in to your house either.

@No91 lockdown rules state that you're allowed to have a bubble with one other household for childcare help with under 13s. We're currently in tier 1 and (as far as I'm aware) so are my sisters for the specific areas they are in, so no rules are being broken, as she wanted to see them this week before Thursday (while tier rules are in place) and then be in a bubble with us from Thursday onwards.

And she isn't living permanently in France, she's just been over there for a couple of months, but doesn't have anywhere permanent to stay in Britain at the moment. Sorry that probably wasn't clear from my post.

Maybe she should pay a bit more attention... London is in Tier 2 and mixing households is not allowed.

Anyway, I understand how you feel but she is doing you a favour, unless you refuse her help then you can't really stop her doing anything.

Have you told her how you feel? Maybe she doesn’t realise this is how you are feeling.

She may feel like it’s her last chance in a while to see her other daughter and step daughter as assume maybe she’s not seen them in 7 months?

Also maybe a bit unfair on your sister to not be allowed to see her mum?

But yes; I understand your feelings and would feel the same

@OverTheRainbow88 she saw them both at the end of August when she was last in the UK. I told her that I felt by seeing other people she was putting me at a level of risk I wasn't comfortable with and so I was declining her help until the baby is born when she will be in a bubble with us. I didn't tell her that I felt she was being a bit selfish by having a date and having her lashes done rather than help me, or that I feel she's putting my sisters first by wanting to see them rather than help keep me covid free when I'm so close to giving birth.