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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed that partner does walk dog

62 replies

Opinionator · 01/11/2020 11:53

We have a 3 month old DC together and ever since DC was born DP has walked our dog 2/3 times alone. Any time the dog is walked it's either me doing it alone, or all of us together after I've asked DP to come with us. Never does he take initiative and decides to walk the dog without me, therefore the responsibility falls on me constantly.

I'm on maternity and DP is WFH, but never has any actual work to do, so it's not like that's stopping him. I've mentioned to him several times that he needs to help me out and walk the dog. He either gets annoyed at me and reminds me that when I was pregnant he had to walk the dog all the time (he's a staffie and too strong for any pregnant woman to be walking), or he says he'll do it and never does.

I'm genuinely at the end of my tether! Any advice?

OP posts:
willitbetonight · 01/11/2020 13:20

Same here op. I've got a 4 month old. It's exhausting. Particularly when he starts pretending he was about to do it.

Branleuse · 01/11/2020 13:22

you cant just rehome the dog out of spite. thats a shit reason to rehome the poor dog. You need to come up with a better solution so that the dog gets walked every day by one of you. It shouldnt all be down to you, but its hardly the end of the world if one person does more dog walks, especially if you can leave the kid with him for an hour

Goldencurtain · 01/11/2020 13:23

Wtf. It's your turn because he walked the dog when you were pregnant? I'm sorry, is it now his turn to carry a baby full term and have his body changed forever whilst going through the most pain you've ever experienced? The fucking cheek of it.

Smallsteps88 · 01/11/2020 13:24

he's a staffie and too strong for any pregnant woman to be walking

Why isn’t your dog lead trained?

ZombieOtter · 01/11/2020 13:24

I understand that maybe you don't enjoy walking the dog at the moment, but could you think of it more as an opportunity to get out, leave your child with your husband and clear your head? You might come to enjoy it. I've always walked our dog alone and to me it's like therapy and has very probably saved my sanity!

Branleuse · 01/11/2020 13:24

and train the dog not to pull. A staffie shouldnt be too strong for a woman to walk it, unless its unruly. Theyre barely medium sized dogs

percheron67 · 01/11/2020 13:25

Not sure what breed of dog it is is relevant. If the dog is well trained and walks to heel, size and breed are irrelevant. Pregnant women and children can exercise a well mannered dog.

Smallsteps88 · 01/11/2020 13:26

Genuinely considered rehoming the poor dog because I'm busy with DC and don't get to walk the poor pup enough!

Tale as old as time. Happens with infuriating regularity. What was the plan for the dog when you were discussing having a baby?

JenniferSantoro · 01/11/2020 13:30

Why on earth is he not bundling the baby up in the pram and going out with the dog and pram. My husband used to do this all the time.
Neither of you should have a dog if you can’t be bothered to walk it.

MessAllOver · 01/11/2020 13:37

Rehome the dog. Regardless of the walking issue, it's not safe to have dogs like that around young children.

Horsemad · 01/11/2020 13:39

Rehome the dog - sounds like it'll be better off.

pigsDOfly · 01/11/2020 13:40

@ZombieOtter

I understand that maybe you don't enjoy walking the dog at the moment, but could you think of it more as an opportunity to get out, leave your child with your husband and clear your head? You might come to enjoy it. I've always walked our dog alone and to me it's like therapy and has very probably saved my sanity!
This ^

Yes, leave the baby with him and take some time for yourself. Perhaps try to look on it as some time for you and the dog to bond, rather than a chore. Part of having a dog is surely the joy of walking it.

I have to walk my dog as there's only me here and It's always something I enjoy and use as a good excuse to get out and walk, as I probably wouldn't if I didn't have her - dog has even learned to enjoy walks in the rain, I put on all my waterproofs and her coat and off we go.

My dog walks really kept me going during the previous lockdown, as they will during the upcoming one.

longtompot · 01/11/2020 14:52

When you got the dog was it a joint decision or was one of you more keen than the other? The only reason I ask is when I wanted to get my dog, my dh wasn't keen at all. I said I'd do all the walks etc.
Now 8 years on, and after a heart scare, he comes on our walks. When I've been ill, or away, he has walked her and really enjoyed it, but I don't think the would offer to walk her of an evening if I was feeling tired.
I do miss my solo walks with her :(

emilyfrost · 01/11/2020 14:57

Whose is the dog? Yours or his? And if it’s a joint dog, were you more keen than he was? Because if you pushed for the dog then I can see why he wouldn’t be interested in walking it.

mrsmrt1981 · 01/11/2020 16:13

Sounds shit. I don’t have any advice, but I love staffies so if you want to rehome the dog then send me a PM. I have a staffie (3yo) and she’s great with other dogs. I have 3 cats too. Good luck however you chose to proceed. x

flaviaritt · 01/11/2020 16:25

Rehome the dog. He doesn’t want to walk it, you can’t control it. And you have a new baby in the house.

Duanphen · 01/11/2020 16:27

You can learn a lot about people by how they treat animals.

He refuses to walk the dog. In a few months, he'll be just as disinterested in playing with, caring for or engaging with the child.

These men have no interest in their families, or their responsibilities.

SodaPerson · 01/11/2020 16:29

It depends whose dog it is and who wanted the dog in the 1st place..

Happyheartlovelife · 01/11/2020 16:37

I would really try and get the dog walked. Getting out each day is great. Both for physical and mental health

Normally I'd say regime. But a staffie are becoming notorious to regime

pilates · 01/11/2020 16:42

This is a sad post to read. Have you got any friends that could rehome? A puppy needs training and time. Sounds like the pup is an inconvenience to you.

ZooKeeper19 · 01/11/2020 16:45

@Opinionator walk the dog and leave the baby with DP. Works a treat. You get home after a 2 hour walk and your DP will offer to take the dog next time himself.

mrsmrt1981 · 01/11/2020 16:45

@MessAllOver

Rehome the dog. Regardless of the walking issue, it's not safe to have dogs like that around young children.
Are you for real? That’s so ignorant. There are only two breeds of dog that the kennel club recommends for families with children. Just TWO! And one of them is the STAFFIE.

They used to be known as the nanny dog. I am six months pregnant and I have a staffie cross. I have no concerns. No dog should be left unsupervised with children regardless of its breed.

It’s attitudes like yours that cause out rescues to be overwhelmed. What happens when rescues are overwhelmed? Healthy dogs are PTS unnecessarily. Wake up.

WildfirePonie · 01/11/2020 17:05

Walk the dog alone and leave him with the baby. Twice a day. Dogs need plenty of exercise Grin

2bazookas · 01/11/2020 17:08

Are you kidding? Leave the baby with DP for an hour while you take the dog for a walk in the fresh air.

Lots of new mothers would love to have a little solo me-time every day.

MrsJunglelow · 01/11/2020 17:15

Is the dog badly behaved?
I’m thinking he doesn’t want to walk it because of pulling or dog aggression or something?
Especially as you mentioned him being too strong to walk and not able to walk him with the DC - a staffy is roughly cocker spaniel sized.
Unless he’s pulling and lunging and/Zoe has behavioural issues that are hard to manage he really shouldn’t be too strong for you to walk and there shouldn’t be any reason why you can’t walk him with DC?