Split due to his violence in 2017. Share a 6 year old DD.
He dragged me through court for custody, then 50/50 then when they wouldn’t give it him he settled on 2 nights for tea and EOW it was supposed to build up to the weeknights being overnights when DD was older.
Then he moved 2 hours’ drive away. DD has a problem with her hips that means she can’t be in the carseat for more than an hour on a regular basis so I told him because his parents are still in the area (where he’s always had contact) he was to come back to the area to have her EOW – I drop off and pick up DD from his. He only has her EOW now – I’ve always offered extra in school holidays if he wants to take her back to his house but he claims he’s not got a room for her there.*
In March he completely stopped contact until a week before the school summer holidays started, saw her for a few weeks and then disappeared off the face of the earth again for a few weeks. When he came back he blamed work.
He’s seen her consistently since the beginning of September (so only a few times). He’s now saying because of the lockdown he won’t be seeing her again until the lockdown lifts apart from Christmas, he will be having her as normal from Christmas Day if the lockdown hasn’t lifted (our agreement is that he has half of Christmas Day 1 year he has her 2pm CD to 4pm Boxing Day then next year he has her 2pm Christmas Eve until 2pm CD, it’s his year to have her Boxing Day he claims he’ll have her half of CD do dinner as normal and return her to me on Boxing Day “slightly early”)
I hate him so much. He put me through hell, dragged me to court, and then left the area so I do all the worst bits. And I have all the expense, he’s supposed to pay maintenance but knocks money off for his fuel back to the area and knocks the money he has to pay in meals for the two of them off two so it works out that he pays me less than 50p per day. I also have to provide clothes and pyjamas for at his. And yet can swoop in, do the fun bits and leave again. And there’s nothing I can do because the courts aren’t doing variations of the orders at the moment as everyones contact is affected by CV-19 (that’s what they told when I tried to apply for variation).
I hate him, it’s not fair. My DD adores him, he is all she talks about, although school have said it’s the opposite there and she never mentions him. I resent him, because I know its his way of getting back at me for leaving him.
I know I am UR.
*Before anyone comments on this being unfair I spoke to my solicitor and DDs paediatrician and Physios and I could get medical evidence to suggest she can’t do 4 hours travelling in a weekend regularly, they put regularly as more often than once every 3 months or so. So it still allows us both to do holidays if we want to just need to be organised so she’s not doing too many 2 hour plus journeys in a short time frame.