AIBU?
to be angry with dh that he doesn't go out and blames me?
laurliemonkey · 15/10/2007 16:56
this has happened four times now, dh asks if i want to go out one night, i say no ( i dislike clubbing at the best of times) and he says,'no, i can't be arsed either'. cue entrance of mates, 'coming out tonight'.
response? every time'. 'nah, wife doesn't want to'. grrrr. i can feel my blood pressure rising.
RGPargy · 15/10/2007 16:58
YANBU!!! Next time he says it to his mates, speak loudly in the background that it's not your fault and that he is actually aloud to go out without you holding his hand (or words to that effect).
He probably doesn't want to go out either but cant think of a valid excuse to palm his mates off with so instead he passes the buck on to you! Most men are too cowardly to just say "nah, i cant be arsed".
[rolls eyes]
gizmo · 15/10/2007 17:03
I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've not heard DH do it in front of me (I have dark suspicions though) but I HATE that partners/wives are used as a lazy, shitty excuse for not being man enough to stand up to his mates.
It stinks. It's cowardly, its dishonest and it just puts me in a plain bad mood.
PS I might be over-reacting a little here...I wouldn't necessarily suggest you take it up with your DH on those terms
BUT I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tortington · 15/10/2007 17:26
my dh plays darts with the OFFICE MANAGER where i work. although he isn't my manager - he is indeed high ranking wanky person.
so he tells the manager he can't go out he is going out with me.
but doesn't tell me this excuse
and i always get caught out becuase i can't LIE
Anna8888 · 15/10/2007 17:31
OrmIrian - are you sure you mean that?
I'm forever asking for my partner's opinion before making decisions. We share a life, therefore it is only courtesy to ask one another before taking decisions.
However, I completely agree with the posters that it is a case of male cowardice in the OP's case.
bossykate · 15/10/2007 17:36
lol! i wouldn't hesitate to blame "him indoors" if it gave all parties a face-saving excuse to get out of something... i suppose it depends whether there is any come back on you though, e.g. him blaming you (for real as opposed to an excuse for his mates), the mates taking the piss and him agreeing iyswim.
OrmIrian · 15/10/2007 17:43
Asking whether he 'can' have friends over is asking for permission. Saying 'shall we' have friends over is asking an opinion.
Having said that, DH doesn't exactly ride roughshod over my feelings. I can trust him to basically know what is an what isn't acceptable. And vice versa.
Anna8888 · 15/10/2007 17:47
Sure, after a few years together one gets a pretty good picture of how one's other half is going to react .
Still, I do think I am constantly checking that my partner is OK with my actions, when I have the slightest doubt that he would be OK - so in that sense, I am always asking permission, and so is he. And that's fine and the way I want it to be.
laurliemonkey · 17/10/2007 15:12
update- i texted his best mate, to say when are you all next going out, and make sure dh does too. the next night, they are all going out. husband starts with the 'but the wife routine' and best mate drags him out. result- long bath, nice book, glass of wine. brilliant
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