WIBU to visit UK from US for Christmas

[wonkhamstrong]

Realise I might get flamed for even asking, but am looking for some perspective on whether this would be unreasonable/irresponsible/possibly illegal given things in the UK (and the US) at the moment. I'm overseas so have not fully followed the ins and outs of what is suggested, what is actually not allowed, etc. and would appreciate some advice.

I'll be as brief as possible: We live abroad and I haven't seen my parents since February. I would like to come and see them over Christmas and into January. For reasons of leave from work, and school where we live, this would be the best time for us and otherwise probably wouldn't happen until the summer. My children are young (2 and 4) and I really, really don't want my parents to have not seen them for 18 months, although I realise lots of people are struggling with similar situations.

The plan would be: fly in, travel to my parents house (not totally sure how we would do this part - possibly hire car all the way there, that seems like most responsible?) and quarantine for a week. Parents would go to an airbnb. We would try to get a test on day 5 then parents would come back when (if) we got negative tests. I realise there might be a full lockdown but I think once we were through quarantine and staying with my parents that wouldn't necessarily matter - we just want to see them and go for walks anyway really.

My questions are - would we then be breaking the rules, even if we had quarantined? Is there irresponsibility in this plan that I'm not seeing? I suppose worst case scenario is that we do pick it up on the way over and then will have to isolate for a further two weeks though Christmas. Would you visit, in my situation?

Thanks all.

If full lockdown then AirBnbs are closed. I think YABU - don't travel. So many people here are not following the rules that this is not going to be resolved quickly.

I’m in the US with a 3 and 5 year old. Yes it’s sad that we haven’t seen any family since last Christmas, but we are absolutely not traveling to the UK this year. We’d have to quarantine for 2 weeks either side of the trip (not fun with little kids) and then we’d have the actual flight itself, which is bad enough at the best of times, worse I imagine trying to keep them in masks in the entire time. And then everything would be closed etc in the Uk anyway when we got there and finished quarantining. Ands that’s the best case scenario which assumes no one gets ill

Much easier to stay here. And cheaper. And my parents don’t have to consider us in their Christmas plans. No quarantine, no jet lag, no 8 hour plane rides, no dragging around Christmas presents. For us it was a no brainer

@Hayeahnobut

People in lower case areas often miss the point that they need to manage risk so as not to turn into a high case area. We were a low rate area, bordering a very high area, people relaxed, and now we've one of the highest rates in the country and our hospital has gone into surge mode. They're cancelling surgeries and having to call in staff from neighbouring areas.

Can you explain that to your parents OP? You want their area to stay low, so help is there should they need it, and you don't want to do anything that might jeopardise that.

yes, will do. TBH I might just show them this thread!

It's not fun, and I have massive sympathy for you. BIl and family haven't been able to get to the UK for over a year now, no prospect until next summer. Another friend hasn't seen her husband since February, as he is stuck abroad. But international travel isn't the best thing right now.

But yes I’m really sad and I get it!!! It’s horrible having friends here see their families every week and we have been over a year now. And like you say the kids change so much in such a short space of time. My 3 year old is like a proper person now, last summer she still felt like a baby

Thanks Aroundtheworldin80moves . Your poor friend!

It is helpful to have all this perspective. Difficult parsing things from over here sometimes.

@Caterina99

But yes I’m really sad and I get it!!! It’s horrible having friends here see their families every week and we have been over a year now. And like you say the kids change so much in such a short space of time. My 3 year old is like a proper person now, last summer she still felt like a baby

Totally the same. It's not quite so bad with the 4 yr old as he is great at talking to them on skype etc. But 2 yr old refuses and is a totally different person to when they saw her last. But yeah I recognise what PP said about that being basically a selfish impulse and have taken it on board.

It's shit, Op.

Haven't seen my parent since beginning of year either.

They are in a care home & it is a worry that I won't see them again.

Atm-thank goodness for Facetime!

I wouldn't waste days of my visits with my parents staying elsewhere, I'd spend the quarantine period with them in same house. This is allowed afaik if you don't plan to travel anywhere after you arrive at their place in UK (for at least 2 weeks).

You have to quarantine for 2 weeks again when you get back to USA afaik.

I don't think it's unreasonable or too risky but I could not do it. I would loathe being trapped in one property for 2 x 2weeks, especially with the 2xpreschoolers. Assuming you could even get flights for affordable prices. These are among reasons why I won't see my own family in USA until late 2021 at earliest.

i saw the title and thought you were a tourist!

its a shame and lots of people havent seen their families for a year now bit crap

hows it over there at the moment in your area

@wonkhamstrong

Thanks all. We are prepared to pay for private tests, yes. If we couldn't get them then yes I suppose we'd have to quarantine for two weeks. But yes, all good points, and that's why we're on the fence. In full lockdown is staying in local airbnbs prohibited?

I'm just desperately sad at my parents basically not knowing my youngest at this point.

I don’t even want my DS/DIL to travel across London to stay with us.

We will Zoom. We’ve been Zooming with relatives in the USA and Canada every week since March. Normally we see them on average every two years.

We are planning to travel to the US over Christmas to see family. We traveled there for 2 weeks in August as well. Airports and plane felt very safe to us, we wore masks, our son was 1 at the time & walking. My husband has been working remotely so we’ll be fine if we get stuck thankfully, and can isolate for 2wks on our return. Weigh the risks, but everyone on this site will definitely tell you not to do it.

Appreciate that you are trying to find a way to see your family and it must be incredibly difficult. However you say ‘worst case you’ll need to isolate a further 2 weeks’ really though, worst case is you catch it, end up in hospital very ill or pass to parents and they are very ill or worse. Not sure what age/health your parents are but personally I’ve not been snide my parents home for months as I don’t want to run the risk of giving anything to them.

It’s so hard for families, I think this is the thing most people are missing above all else which tbh is a good thing and makes us realise how precious family and friends are.

I really feel for you OP.
My dd is (hopefully)getting married end of December and we are driving from Europe beginning of December so we can quarantine. We’re lucky in that we will be in our car except for petrol and toilets.
I don’t think I would sit on a plane for 8 hours with 2 young dc who can’t move.