Aibu to ask what helped repair your damaged hair?I'm devastated

[Tworoundsofwaterplease]

My hairdresser just told me I have to have it cut into a pixie style as it is too damaged to do anything with.

I know I've abused it with dye and styling over the years. But I really couldnt have a pixie cut, I've got an ugly birthmark on my scalp, and a large face and large features.

In the past I've managed to get it a bit better with pregnancy pills, hemp oil and eating loads of almonds. I'll start that again. Anything else anyone has had success with?

From your photos, it really does look like your hair is completely fucked and there is nothing that can actually improve it - vitamins won't make a blind bit of difference to the hair that's already been bleached to buggery..

However, it also looks as though you have small features, high cheekbones and the perfect shape to absolutely carry off a Pixie.

I think your best option if you don't feel ready to do that yet is to grit your teeth and have as much cut off as possible. As long as you don't go for permanent colours afterwards (the chemical reaction between the two ends up with melted hair, as though you've coated it in Veet), you could use vegetable based temporary ones to try and reduce the demarcation between buggered and healthy hair. Or stick to using purple/blue tinted conditioners to reduce the orangey yellow tones and just wait it out until the last of the bleached-to-fuck hair can be cut off.

Garnier hair food, the papaya one. That and a trim fixed my dyed damaged hair. Cost £3 for the goop, and £15 for the trim.

Conditioner your hair every wash. If you have to use a hair dryer use the coolest settings and use a heat protection spray. Then wait a few months, like others have said, then get a trim.. Repeat and fingers crossed it'll be fine.

I never use heat on my hair anyway.
Hot oils-I remember those in the 90s!And i remember them being good-not seen them for ages though!

I do use a decent brush.

Auldspooky You can’t really blame the hairdresser for your diy errors. Where have I done that?

I have dyed my roots myself but always used a different product, can't remember the strength. Haven't done it for a while now.

I will take some biotin and pregnancy pills again.

Thanks all, I really appreciate all the suggestions. Opalex is seeming to be the unanimous verdict almost! A few other things to try. I did have a fair bit taken off this morning and it does feel a lot smoother. I really would have struggled with a pixie cut-would have probably cried.

I use coconut oil on my hair after washing it. Also bought a new conditioner, John Frieda, maybe that will help you? I use that before shampoo and not on my roots.

I think the hairdresser was UN saying you have to have the pixie cut, she has advised and you have made the decision. It’s your hair, you decide. You can have it trimmed over time while it grows.

Hope get it sorted and feel better about it soon.

Ah, it'll be OK, OP!

What is your ideal hair length? A bob?

Over 3 years ago I took leave of my senses and decided to go several shades lighter. My hair was long, brown and in excellent condition. I got a box dye and it didn't really take hold so I bought another and another until it lightened. To a flat gingery brown-blonde, ruined, frizzy and dry. Absolute madness. I was devastated. Anyway, my hair is bra length and the damage is almost all grown out now and it's glossy with body again. Another 6 months the damage will be totally out. OK, some might think it's just a boring brown but I have to accept that, my hair is too fine to take bleach and that's all there is to it. If I had been growing it to a bob, I think it would have maybe only taken a year and a half to grow down which is really not too bad at all, that'll fly by.

1. It's fantastic that you don't use heating tools.
2. We're going into winter and lockdown. It couldn't be a better time for you to sort this out! I would just wear a cute coat with a hood or a hat.
3. Olaplex 3, plus the shampoo and conditioner. Philip Kingsley Elasticizer. I honestly wouldn't bother with hot oil or cheap products like Aussie but that's just me. My hair is fine like yours and those products have never, ever done anything for me.
4. Hair vitamins with biotin and a collagen supplements.
5. Drink water
6. You need good fats in your diet if you don't already have them. Extra virgin olive oil, avocado, eggs, cheese and nuts.
7. Brush your hair less. Touch it less. Think about it less. Don't tie it up, you'll just run the risk of snapping areas again.

Doing all that is an absolute guarantee your hair will come back good and likely sooner than you think.

Stop using shampoo

Just to be clear. I was saying Olaplex and Kingsley do^ work.

There’s so much advice on this thread, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re overwhelmed.

I think split it into 2 groups - products to help your current condition and others to aid regrowth.

Whilst using products like Olaplex 3 etc is fine, your hair looks like it is desperately crying out for moisture! Definitely invest in a deep conditioning mask. I use kerastase. Don’t overload your hair with the protein based treatments.

You need to be as healthy as possible to aid faster regrowth. Plenty of water, supplements to correct any low levels of vitamins/minerals etc. A scalp treatment would help as it delivers nutrients directly to the follicle.

i think the hairdresser was UN saying you have to have the pixie cut

She understood when I said no today because of the dramatic change, but insisted I come back to have it done as soon as I'd got my head around it.

yeti thanks so much for the detailed reply

^ No probs.

Even if the hairdresser was right about the need for a major cut she could have been a lot nicer and more supportive about it! Giving you real and useful info like this thread. Rather than just making you feel worse and more traumatized, so for that reason alone I think she's not a good fit.

@Georgeoftheinternet

Stop using shampoo

Yes, or at least use one with gentle cleaners

Do you have an idea of a style you would like?

That might help decide how to cut it?

Olaplex

You can’t repair damaged hair, you can just make it look less damaged. Just get it cut, let the natural colour grow in and you can let the healthy hair grow out long again. Nobody is looking at you and judging if you have a pixie cut...they’re far more likely to look and judge fried hair! I shaved my hair off over a year ago and initially felt like everyone must be looking at the bald woman but nobody is. People simply don’t care and your hair will be so much nicer and healthier.

Philip Kingsley Elasticizer is an excellenttreatment. I sleep in it sometimes*

Biggest waste of money I’ve ever spent (and I bought a litre of the gloop).
Mfunny what suits one person and doesn’t another

@ivftake1 shampoos strip the hair. The best way to clean the scalp is using your finger tips. Takes a while for your hair to react well to it, but omg feels so good and a lot cleaner.

@Tworoundsofwaterplease

Photos

Your hair is fried. Yes cut it short

If your hair really is that damaged, all you can do is cut it off.

I suggest you see another hairdresser at another hair salon for a second opinion - I don't think you'll get a different opinion, but you'll feel better having checked that some crazy lady isn't trying to hack your hair off.

We're about to go into lockdown again. See another hairdresser pronto, cut off the hair and invest in some hats and brightly coloured fashion wigs to make you feel more like you whilst you're regrowing your hair. Hardly anyone will see you - take advantage of that.

Hair treatments can sometimes hide damage (to an extent) but they can't repair it. If you've fried your hair, there's no going back.

For a long time, I thought my long hair was part of my identity and I freaked out when I had to have it cut short. It actually looked pretty good, and whilst I've grown my hair back now, I feel more confident having 'survived' the 'wrong hair' and not let it diminish who I was.

You are more than a haircut. I promise.

You cannot repair hair, hair is what it is.

I am not hairdresser so this is a thought I have no idea if it is possible but can you cut it a bit short then have extensions till it has time to grow out?

I get being annoyed but if you are genuinely devastated over hair then you also to do some serious thinking about what is important

Extensions would be very tough on already weak hair.

[quote Georgeoftheinternet]@ivftake1 shampoos strip the hair. The best way to clean the scalp is using your finger tips. Takes a while for your hair to react well to it, but omg feels so good and a lot cleaner.[/quote]
I know, I said to quit sulphates

Thanks all for the olaplex tip.

OP I have the same problem. My hair looks a bit like yours. As if it has snapped/thinned.

I had a vitamin d blood test (for other reasons) which showed I was deficient. I've been taking supplements for 6 months now. I believe it can be slow to improve but I'm hoping this will help as thinning hair is also linked to low vitamin d.

Btw, I've no idea why I'm deficient. I'm outdoors quite a lot and not as careful in the sun as I should be.

Olaplex
Olaplex
Olaplex
Olaplex

Nothing involving coconut oil. Nothing involving sillicon. Nothing that costs £4.99 from Boots. Either a proper rebuilding treatment in a salon, or Olaplex.