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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think another lockdown will be disastrous for some of us?

23 replies

GrowYourOwnKids · 31/10/2020 08:29

My own family live 60 miles away. H is here but that’s it.

We have a DC who is 3. Non verbal, no understanding. I can’t do ‘arts and crafts’ , ‘bake cakes’ or ‘read story books together ‘. My sanity is saved by going out shopping or trips to see SIL.

He has absolutely 0 interest in toys. Likes to just investigate the house downstairs. Goes absolutely ballistic if the telly (the only show he will watch), is turned off after a reasonable time. So he is banned.

AIBU to think it’ll be really hard for some of us? A neighbour I use to have is alone, I know for a fact she has no family even in the country. Just friends. But she’s nothing now. Not even some light hearted shopping to entertain her.

I think I just feel so depressed Sad I don’t suffer with poor MH but I feel utterly low and deflated. Getting out of bed and sorting myself for the day is just a mountain task, even though I still do it

OP posts:
Original poster
GrowYourOwnKids · 31/10/2020 08:32

The activity DC loves is swimming but our local pool has just closed again. And the ones further away seem to be booked up entirely for another few weeks again, despite regular checks

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 31/10/2020 08:36

It will be disastrous for all of us !!

Original poster
GrowYourOwnKids · 31/10/2020 08:38

Some people can cope better though, not necessarily for any big reasons. But I know a lot of friends can just muddle through since their DC will actually listen to them speak and do an activity, other kids can be bribed etc...

OP posts:
user1471505494 · 31/10/2020 08:41

It will be hard but the alternative would be so much worse

Halliehallie9828 · 31/10/2020 08:45

@GrowYourOwnKids my son is exactly the same, except he’s 7 now and still non verbal.

Can you go for walks ? Explore woodland ?

Halliehallie9828 · 31/10/2020 08:46

Go for a walk to the corner shop and just grab him a pack of sweets ? Just to get out?

Original poster
GrowYourOwnKids · 31/10/2020 08:51

Unfortunately, for whatever reason because he bloody loves jumping off the sofas, he doesn’t like walking Confused no idea why. He throws a fit after a minute, very stressful

We also don’t have a corner shop for sweets. You have to drive to nearest supermarket

OP posts:
Ihatefish · 31/10/2020 08:52

One thing I’ve learned through lockdown is there is a massive divide between those who need people and those who don’t neither one is right or wrong it’s just different.

Some people’s position might be much much worse than yours on an objective level but because of their people needs (or lack thereof) would probably welcome a lockdown as it removes the socialising pressure.

plessuregirle · 31/10/2020 09:03

It would be disastrous for me. My mental health is so poor at the moment. I'm falling apart at the seams.

Redcherries · 31/10/2020 09:08

@GrowYourOwnKids that sounds bloody tough, no advice but a discrete virtual hug.

It’s all the jobs too, so many people will lose everything, we’ve finally started to get back on our feet and we’re in an industry that’s not meant to be affected but we lost all our work. I’d started to feel like we might make it.

It’s so bloody shit isn’t it.

Original poster
GrowYourOwnKids · 31/10/2020 09:13

ples So sorry to hear that. I really am

Redcherries Thank you. You’ve put it perfectly. Sorry about your work too. I’m fairly secure as I work for the NHS but it’s a new job and non clinical. It’s all just so odd. I’ve already been away for around 6 weeks here and there for either Covid isolation, symptoms or people being positive

OP posts:
Bagelsandbrie · 31/10/2020 09:13

It’s going to be awful for everyone. I’m really worried about the future. And the now. I have chronic long term disabilities and a son with autism and complex needs. I am scared about how we are going to cope during another lockdown but I’m also scared that if we don’t lockdown there won’t be any NHS capacity to cope with anyone who needs it, Covid or not.

Scarlettpixie · 31/10/2020 09:14

It will be shit for a lot of people but the alternative is worse.

ElephantsAlltheWayDown · 31/10/2020 09:23

YANBU. I think for some people lockdown is immensely harder than for others. I feel for you.

Stealthfart · 31/10/2020 09:24

I work in a chemo unit in an NHS hospital, we’ve already seen departments where half the staff have been sent home. With COVID on top of the usual winter bed crises I just don’t know how we’ll cope. I exercise outdoors for mental health so it doesn’t help that the weather is utter shite.

Takingabreakagain · 31/10/2020 09:26

@Scarlettpixie in what way will it be worse?
The number of people who have died in the past couple of months is on a par with the average of past years. Please don't get high number of cases (from a test which has a high rate of false positives) mixed up with a high number of deaths.

To think another lockdown will be disastrous for some of us?
To think another lockdown will be disastrous for some of us?
Dugger57 · 31/10/2020 09:33

Does your DC go to childcare, OP? It looks like (according to rumours) childcare will stay open. Can you quickly up his days?!

sunshineandshowers21 · 31/10/2020 09:34

i just about got through the last lockdown, i don’t know how i’ll handle another one. our whole household has just had to isolate for two weeks after three of us caught covid. our isolation ends tomorrow and it looks like we could be straight back into it within a few days. this time around i plan to just let my kids be as feral as they want with unlimited time on screens. it is way too cold and miserable to be forcing kids out on walks for hours like last time! and quite frankly i can’t be arsed with the super mum baking/crafts/making forts shit i did during the last lockdown. especially not now there’s a 5 month old in the mix as well as three other kids aged 2, 6, & 13 😬

mumtoallboys · 31/10/2020 09:42

Sending a virtual hug. Not everyone is equal in this and some do have it harder, so I am thinking of you.

No advice really, but I have similar age children and in bad weather we sometimes sat on dinning room floor on a blanket with their favorite food, I put water in a teapot and let them pour their own tea. Simple but they loved it.

We drove around and they had to spot red cars/ motorbikes for treats.

We know someone who has some goats, we fed vegetable peelings and veggies.

Original poster
GrowYourOwnKids · 31/10/2020 09:49

I think I might be tempted to just allow Hey Duggee on for pretty much the entire day one day, then the next nothing of telly and just doing stuff (he won’t do it, won’t want to, will be a pain in the bottom about it all), but at least he’s not looking at the telly all the time.

Another bug bear is he won’t hold a tablet, so telly it is. Phones he constantly presses pause and quite literally, passes it to me to press play again every minute Envy

I really miss my nan, my mum. I did pop to see them but they’re now in a tier where you cannot have other households inside, and 60 miles is too long a drive to just sit in a garden or drink a tea... if that was even possible with my DC.

DC is in nursery but they’ve said they may close if the tier goes up more. It’s just a wait and see. All of DC’s speech and language has been cancelled. All of his assessments not even booked in anymore. I feel as if he will come out worse off after this. The ball was really rolling to get some support in place but it’s fallen now, at least temporarily. The uncertainty of it all is driving me mad, and I’m so lonely and bored Sad

People always text etc but I’m just one of those that either like seeing you in person or talking over the phone. But it appears most people prefer text these days... I just cba with it. Rather save my thumbs and just talk to you there and then

OP posts:
plessuregirle · 31/10/2020 09:56

I'm exactly the same as you OP. I hate texting. It takes hours to have a conversation that could be done and dusted in 30 minutes or less. Put on as much Hey Duggee as you need! Don't feel bad about it. Things aren't normal at the moment so you have to do what you can to preserve your sanity.

Mumofsend · 31/10/2020 09:59

I hear you.

My DD is 5 and has complex additional needs. Theoretically she will be in school but I'm half expecting her to be risk assessed out after half term. She needs lots of close contact from staff and is a runner who crosses zones in school 😖

Not sure my MH is resilient enough right now.

Hayeahnobut · 31/10/2020 10:05

The number of people who have died in the past couple of months is on a par with the average of past years.

The number of people who died during the first wave is c. 60,000 more than average. Are you deliberately feeding misleading information or do you not understand?

You're right Grow, for some people lockdown is extremely damaging. The number of suicide attempts was significantly higher than normal during the first lockdown (anecdotal evidence, but from the Royal College of Psychiatrists so reliable). Do what is best to minimise distress to yourself and your son, and if that means having the TV on all day then do it, it won't cause him harm.

Look after yourself. Although it can definitely feel like you're alone, there are many sharing your feelings.

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