To ask you to teach me how to dress nice

[toiletpaper]

I live in tshirts, skinny jeans (despite not being skinny), jackets and converse, vans etc. I'm 33, size 16/18 and I've dressed like this for years. I was always comfortable this way but recently I've realised I'd like to dress nicer and more girly but I have no idea where to start. I went into new look a few weeks ago and looked around and everything looked awful to me. I gravitated to the tshirts but stopped myself buying any.

I don't have tons of money so can't shop in expensive places, next is probably my upper limit cost wise. I've heard about people saying about staple items and wouldn't mind spending a little more on these things but again wouldn't know where to start with these and also don't want it to look like I wear the same thing day in day out. Please help me!

Hi, OP!

This will take an effort, such as setting out your outfit for the next day and make sure you will wear it.

What kind of style do you like? Have you had a look on maybe pinterest, instagram? Can you show us a picture of the style you are after?

I'd probably get some basics:
Trousers that aren't jeans
Some nice tops
A couple of dresses
A nice coat
A nice pair of boots

I like Next, tbh, but I'd also try Zara, for example.

I'm sure that not everything looks awful on you, as you say!

@readingismycardio when you say trousers that aren't jeans, do you mean like work style trousers or something different? I do like the style of skinny jeans, a pair of flats, a nice stripey top (I do really like joules and have some tops) and a feminine coloured coat with a scarf on. But I've really let myself get lazy which is why I stick to the tshirt and jeans now.

I've just sorted my wardrobe and chest of drawers and put together four carrier bags to go to the charity bins today and it's been nice to see the decent clothes I do actually have for a change, which I've obviously kept! I'll have to do the getting stuff ready the night before etc to make sure I do actually stick to it.

I do like the style of skinny jeans, a pair of flats, a nice stripey top (I do really like joules and have some tops) and a feminine coloured coat with a scarf on.

I love it! So you tend to like the French style.

I did say 'trousers that aren't jeans' in an attempt to get you out of the jeans rut. I was thinking more like some nice coloured cigarette pants, if you like the style

Your style as described in your second comment sounds nice, OP. Instead of skinny jeans, maybe try navy cigarette trousers (m&s do good ones).
I find dressing tonally makes me look & feel smarter - eg navy trousers, navy & white breton, navy coat/jacket and maybe a pop of colour bag or shoes.

You need to find out you shape OP so we can recommend some pieces. Do you know what shape you are?

Also try having a browse on the style and beauty section here, lots of very helpful people.

I wouldn't worry about dresses yet tbh as I've managed to avoid wearing any winter ones for about 10 years. There are some lovely shirts/blouses around that soften a denim outfit and I agree that a carefully chosen 3/4 length coat and scarf make you look more put together. Do you live in trainers as that can be a scruffy look - what about some flat boots (if heels are too much) with some straight-legged trousers? Next is a good place to start and H&M. Zara is pretty hopeless unless you're a small size but M&S are great for trousers and boots. If you wanted to, they also do some good midi skirts that aren't too scary. Pick a basic colour (navy is good) and then have fun with some colour. Enjoy!

@PurpleFlower1983

You need to find out you shape OP so we can recommend some pieces. Do you know what shape you are?

Exactly this.

I was the same until I was 28 and discovered my body shape. Now I'm more girly as I wear more dresses. I'm definitely more confident in clothes than I was before.

Thanks all. I've had a pair of the cigarette style trousers before and they do look very smart. Not sure where they've gone now I think I'm a pear shape, I have small boobs, small ish waist, wide hips and thighs. Really big tops of arms though. I am currently losing weight though and I've lost 3lb already this week so hoping that keeps going in the right direction.

id start by getting a couple of nice tops and keep the skinnies for now

@lifestooshort123 yes I do live in trainers. Well, converse and vans. I'm 5'9 and I've never really worn heels as I look silly tall in them so I've just not bothered ever and I struggle in anything higher than an inch but feel a lot more comfortable in flats.

What’s your body shape like? Eg hourglass, apple, big/small boobs, height, broad/narrow shoulders?

Which parts of your body do you like best? And which (if any) do you prefer to hide?

My go-to winter outfits are long tunics over leggings with nice cardigans (I love fluted open ones same length as the tunic). Or waterfall styles in heavy fabric and zip-up draped wraps for cold days.

I also like simple dresses with snag tights and cropped cardigans or jumpers. Cashmere cardigans or jumpers can look very stylish.

I hate skirts!

I wear flat ankle boots or knee high boots in winter, trainers or sandals in summer.

What are your jackets like?

Just saw your update!

I’m a pear too and the same height. I find dresses that hug the smallest part of my waist most flattering. Have you tried fit and flare dresses?

I struggle with jeans and trousers as they gape at the waist (if they fit on the hips!) but have a couple of nice stretchy pairs that a tailor adjusted for me.

Have you tried batwing tops over dark skinnies, with boots?

Op if you're a flats and trainers kind of person (as am I!) a comfortable but dressier switch would be flat Chelsea boots. They look nice with skinny jeans and there's endless subtle variations depending on what style you prefer.

Also the lockdown has been a godsend for comfort. I can't do cigarette trousers (thighs!) and I don't think they're good for pear shapes, but places like h&m and Primark have lots of variations of 'pull on trousers' which is a posher way of saying elasticated waists They tend to be soft fabric and smart colours/patterns but tapered cut so they are much smarter than jogging bottoms despite being just as comfortable! I've got some h&m ones that are £15 and they look smart enough to be work trousers but they feel like wearing thick PJ's, perfect!

I think winter is easier to look girly than summer! A couple of long sleeve dresses, tights and boots always looks well put together to me.

I find a stylish coat and scarf helps to pull a look together. Eg smart wool coat with a scarf that matches your boots or bag?

Or a leather jacket? Lakeland has a great sale sometimes and the sleeves are nice and long.