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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sister in law is always nosy

17 replies

gg12346 · 30/10/2020 22:32

My sister in law is married and lives in NZ ..Her mother is law was very supportive and supported her a lot and till now she is helping her out .She has 1 dc and another on the way .Mum in law stays and looks after child and makes food for her and there family .I stay in England all alone , no family , no help .
Eveytime she calls she compares , I feel very bad about it .I told my hubby too but he says you are over reacting .
Everyone in my hubbys family compares us to her family .They have bought a house early , they are having children early .My father in law would call and just say , you should have done the same thing as they are doing .Its ridiculous comparison .
My sister is also a big show off .New dress , New car she will post it the very first thing in the whatspp group of the family .
I have my own issues here , no help and a stubborn hubby who will do nothing in the house .I have a single child and already feel like a single parent and on the top it up , this shit loads of comparison .
AIBU if I cut all ties with her ? she gives me a lot of stress and I cant stand it anymore .
I have stopped picking her calls .Yes I understand that she needs to talk to her brothers family often and keep in touch but I feel ridiculous and trapped .I have often asked my hubby to just talk to her and leave me alone .I dont want to be in middle of a brother and sister and I have no emotions towards her .What should I do ?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 30/10/2020 22:36

Simple. Stop communicating with her. There's no reason you have to, especially when all it does is make you feel shit. Get off the chat groups, mute on Facebook, etc. Let your husband deal with his sister.

MrsClatterbuck · 30/10/2020 22:41

Yes I would stop communicating with her and leave it to DH but I think your real problem is a DH who basically doesn't do anything. That is what really needs to be addressed. And ignore fil.

Thehop · 30/10/2020 22:44

Ignore them

Address your shite husband/marriage

LouiseTrees · 30/10/2020 22:44

I’m with the other posters.

Feedingthebirds1 · 30/10/2020 22:46

a stubborn hubby who will do nothing in the house .I have a single child and already feel like a single parent

Get rid of him, and she goes away too. Your life will improve beyond all recognition.

Pokerfaced · 30/10/2020 22:47

I can’t remember the last time I had a conversation about anything other than the weather with any of my three (nice) SILs. It’s not compulsory.

ReneeRol · 30/10/2020 22:49

It's his sister, let him deal with her. Don't get sucked into anybody else's comparisons or drama. Don't give time to energy suckers who leave you feeling bad about yourself.

Your real issue is with your husband who doesn't do anything and foists his family drama on you. He seems to be the cause of all this stress...

FangsForTheMemory · 30/10/2020 22:52

You’ve got a husband problem there and I think this is making you over sensitive to what his family do.

Leaannb · 30/10/2020 23:01

YABU to ne so jealous over what other people buy or have. Its ridiculous. YANBU if you bin the husband

JeezLouisePlease · 30/10/2020 23:04

@Thehop

Ignore them

Address your shite husband/marriage

This.
gg12346 · 30/10/2020 23:06

Thank you everyone .

OP posts:
Serengetiqueen · 30/10/2020 23:12

I think there are always 2 sides to a story OP, and with them all being on the other side of the world you’re not going to get the complete picture. What people stick up on FB and what’s really going on can be 2 very different things. How do you not know, for example, that your SIL might sometimes feel smothered by her mother? Maybe they get sick of the parroting too?
The house comparison etc is stupid, you live in a completely different country and economy. Honestly I think you need to zone out from this dialogue ....especially if it’s upsetting your karma! It also sounds like the PILs need to get some hobbies and interests of their own..stead of hanging their lives on the ups and downs of their offspring.
If it truly all milk & honey in NZ (and I very much doubt it is) ...could you upsticks and move there?

Serengetiqueen · 30/10/2020 23:15

Is it really so hard by the way to cool off your contact with people who live on the other side of the world and are 13 hours ahead of us?

Wanttolearnmore · 30/10/2020 23:21

I think you need to get your DH to deal with communicating with his sister, why is she always ringing you , does she not call him directly? And mute the family WhatsApp group so you don't look at it whenever someone posts.
She's probably insecure about some things if she's comparing her life with yours all the time OP. Annoying all the same though, think you're right to not pick up her calls, your DH should handle this.
Does FIL say stuff like that regularly? If no just ignore him, if yes again DH needs to have a word.
Running theme is that DH needs to up his game here, you need to talk seriously to him about all this.

Ideasplease322 · 30/10/2020 23:28

Your problem isn’t that your sister is law is boastful.

Your problem is you are unhappy, and your husband is useless.

Make a list of everything you want to change about your life. Stop comparing yourself with the version of her life she chooses to share on WhatsApp.

Inchargeofcupsandice · 30/10/2020 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shizzlestix · 30/10/2020 23:46

Just let your dh do all communication with his family. You have no need to communicate with them. I never contact my dh’s family, nor he mine. Why would we?

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