To feel really anxious about people coming into my house.

[marmite79]

I’ll probably be slammed for this. Be told that we can’t live like this forever.

I suffer with anxiety and OCD. I have fear of germs at the best of times. So you imagine what covid makes me feel like.

I don’t do unexpected visitors at the best of times let alone now.

We live in area with low covid cases and middle risk so can still meet with up to 6.

But I don’t want people in my house. I worry they could have covid or on their clothes and then I would have to clean everything. I don’t want to clean everything so I don’t have people in my house.

I also know that our families aren’t taking covid seriously ie having symptoms and not isolating. For me this is too risky.

I have a disabled child. Although not technically vulnerable to covid it scares me. Scared my children will get ill. Scared that myself or hubby will get ill with a disabled child. There is no rest time in this house. Scared we will get seriously ill and hospitalised

I’m currently not working. Hubby is in a low risk to covid job. No cases in DC’s schools. We go out and about buy at quieter times, social distancing, masks, sanitiser.

Aibu to not want people in my house right now??

Being made to feel guilty but it’s my house and my mental health here surely that comes first?

Children are seeing their grandparents much but grandparents aren’t elderly so I don’t feel we are missing valuable time. In fact children’s grandparents aren’t taking it seriously at all?! They can do what they want but no one is following the six people rule etc.

Aibu to put my mental health before everything else?! The only way I can somewhat relax about the virus is thinking I’m keeping it out of my house! 😭

Have you spoken to your doctor about your anxiety?
It doesn't seem unreasonable to me but does your dp want more visitors?

YANBU
I don't suffer with anxiety, and I'm not all that concerned about contracting Covid, but I don't like unexpected visitors -or- -any- -other- -ones- -for- -that- -matter- ;)

YANBU. Apart from the boiler man servicing our boiler we haven't had anyone in our house or been into anyone else's house since March. Every social contact (particularly indoors) increases the Covid transmission risk. It's just common sense to meet up outdoors these days.

It's up to you. But on a wider note you are letting fear of this virus dominate your mind and your life. The reality is the virus is very very unlikely to affect you or your child or partner. Most people who get it even in their 80s recover.

It might be helpful for you to get some perspective.

Are you having therapy or on any medication?

Everyone's risk assessment is different within the relevant rules. Just do what makes you feel comfortable OP. No one will mind at all. Your house, your rules.

You should consider getting a bit of help for your anxieties in time though.

I think whether I’m having therapy or on medication or anything is against the point. I am an anxiety sufferer and I don’t feel comfortable with people in my house.

We are a very happy family of 4 with two happy children. We go out and do things and aren’t confined to the house. I’m just not comfortable with people in my house. In the summer we’d meet outside but that’s not overly practical.

If my family took it more seriously then I may relax more but they don’t.

My son is disabled. The thought of getting seriously ill terrifies me. What if something happened to me? What if we get ill? Who will
Look after them. Every parent is in the same boat but having one who is disabled magnifies that! I’m a nervous wreck about his future!

If I have people
Over I feel the need to clean afterwards for hours and I don’t want to clean for hours! I just want my home to be my comfortable safe place!

I don’t think you are unreasonable.

I have lots of contacts at work and due to the nature of the job, maintaining distance is not possible. I’d rather not increase risks further by having people in the house. Like you, I’d feel the need to clean everything they touched, and I’d rather meet outdoors than have that hassle. I like my house to be somewhere I just relax and don’t think about Covid.

I think I’m being sensible rather than anxious, but some others may disagree!

I was a shielder and haven't been in a public place since this started. Except for flu injection. Lost a filling weeks ago and currently wondering if I can get over my COVID fears to go to dentist.

I really feel for you - the constant vigilance and worry. Wish I had some wise words but I do understand and I'm sorry

YANBU, I hated having people in the house even pre-Covid

Of course YANBU.

I don't know anyone who is mixing inside houses. We're at enough risk going to school/work.

Aibu to put my mental health before everything else

But you are not doing this. Putting your mental health first would mean seeking some help for OCD.

We have not been mixing inside since Mar.

We had DS friend over today and it was raining so he has come in for the afternoon but if we can avoid we do!

I would echo people who are saying that help for OCD would be a good step. It's a hard time to be an OCD sufferer.

CBT can help but it can take a long time. Perhaps the therapists will be able to focus on goals not to do with pandemic, but more general stuff than causes you difficulties in life. Good luck. I have seen a friend who now lives with OCD much 'turned down', having been at crisis points with it over the years. Horrible but it can be overcome, with strength and will and the help of trained professionals.

@Roseability18

I don’t think you are unreasonable.

I have lots of contacts at work and due to the nature of the job, maintaining distance is not possible. I’d rather not increase risks further by having people in the house. Like you, I’d feel the need to clean everything they touched, and I’d rather meet outdoors than have that hassle. I like my house to be somewhere I just relax and don’t think about Covid.

I think I’m being sensible rather than anxious, but some others may disagree!

Similar to you, I am exposed at work so do take more precautions in my personal life. I wouldn't say I've been overly anxious about it and did socialise a lot more over the summer but now I'm being very careful again. I'm not saying I won't have anyone here/visit other people but it will be rare and with people I know are being careful themselves.

If I thought this was becoming disproportionate or was causing me a lot of anxiety I'd probably seek some support.

I think if your family are not sticking to the rules and being careless about covid, they are being quite selfish visiting you when they know how anxious they are and you should say something to them.