Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Moving away

16 replies

Bioprepper · 30/10/2020 15:10

I don’t know if this is an Aibu or I’m just wanting to get my feelings out and try make a decision.

We need to sell our house. It’s too small for our family and needs repairing which will cost more than we can afford.

I don’t have any close friends just people to say hi to In passing and I’m not close to my family. DH says because of this we should just move away, somewhere new.

This sounds like a great idea in principle. DCs are all teenagers and at points where moving to a new school won’t have too much of an effect. DH works from home and could be literally anywhere. I can transfer for work no problem. So why do I feel so sad about it?

I don’t like the area we live in but I feel like I’m leaving everything I know behind. I fear il be even more Lonley than I am now and won’t make new friends :(

Has anyone else upped sticks and moved away and it’s turned out well? Do I just need to out my big girls pants on and try something new?

OP posts:

midgebabe · 30/10/2020 15:15

You want a bigger house in a better state of repair than the one you already have. You can't afford the repairs

you won't get a bigger house in a better state of repair in the area you currently in for less than the value of your house plus the repair cost

So you have to go elsewhere

Aahh99 · 30/10/2020 17:22

Following.
Were in a similar situation OP.
We private rent though.
It's always been a dream to live nearer the beach, we've got a 2 year old. And due a baby late December.
We were planning to go next summer, but we've been given notice on our property and need to be out by end of Feb.

It's on the cards, we've got all means to move, but now it's crunch time, I am having doubts about upping sticks and leaving everything behind, especially so soon after having a baby.

Like You, I hate our area and we can't afford a 3 bed where we live.
Were talking a good 500 difference in rent a month if we stayed.
I think it's normal to feel like you are, it's a huge step moving away from everything you've ever known.

ILoveYoga · 30/10/2020 17:33

I moved across the Atlantic Ocean. You’re frightened of change, everyone is

Make a plan for your new place. Plan to join in things so you can make friends

Get a dog. Walk your dog in places what’s there are other people. Stop and chat to other people (socially distant)

Volunteer. Great way to meet people. You can volunteer outdoors too - national trust properties or other properties other charities have volunteers doing jobs outside or in well ventilated places

Original poster

Bioprepper · 30/10/2020 18:01

We could afford to stay in the area we live in at a push but we really don’t like the area.

I think it’s fear of the unknown isn’t it? And if it turns out bad there little support network to help hold you up

Thanks for your stories it’s encouraging to know some people have done it and it’s worked out. You are right about getting involved a d making new friends, it’s just so hard to be social at the moment I feel this will make it worse lol

OP posts:

goody2shooz · 30/10/2020 20:07

I’ve moved 8 times in the last 14 years, in Scotland and England. Everywhere we moved to was nice (except Woking, sorry!) and people in all the places were friendly and kind (inc Woking!) It’s much easier to get chatting to new people when you have children, even with the current situation. Better house, nicer area and lower rent is a no brainer. Go for it!

GnomeDePlume · 30/10/2020 20:26

Moved abroad, moved back 5 years later. Both moves for work.

The town we live in now we chose because it was convenient. We have now been here 14 years. It isnt my home town because I havent got one.

Life's an adventure.

Giganticshark · 30/10/2020 20:31

Yes we moved away and I made actual friends! I lived in my home town my entire life and never felt like I belonged.
Our family (and a couple of families we previously knew but weren't particularly friends with) saw how amazing it was here and have all followed us, but I had a much better life even before they came.

We moved as it was affordable to buy, far less crime etc. All my friends here (outside of work) have moved to this town in the past 5 years also.
It's so refreshing being able to start again

Original poster

Bioprepper · 30/10/2020 21:30

No where we live now isn’t my home town but it is DHs. All his friends and family have moved away though so no ties really. Can’t move back to my home town as it’s too expensive.

OP posts:

olivo · 30/10/2020 21:43

For the benefits you mention, it is worth the risk. Go for it......and good luck!

RedskyAtnight · 30/10/2020 21:46

Don't the DC mind? DH and I often have similar thoughts about moving away from our area, but we wouldn't want to separate the teen DC from their friends.

Nackajory · 30/10/2020 21:49

I moved away because of property prices and I love it. I'd never go back. I chose somewhere for the combination of amenities and local countryside. I have to admit it took me a while to settle in but I'm so glad I took the plunge.

thesunwillout · 30/10/2020 21:58

Anyone like to share where they've moved to and are feeling happy/at home.
I'm thinking of relocating.

Prettyconfused · 30/10/2020 22:21

Moved country twice. You make it home after a while, the unknown is not so bad :) and the better quality of live will totally compensate for the initial stress.
Most humans don’t like change but change can be good :) and really... you can always go back or go elsewhere. It’s much less scary the second time.

GnomeDePlume · 31/10/2020 05:14

thesunwillout we lived in the Netherlands for 5 years. In a small town outside Rotterdam (where I worked). It really was a lovely place to live with young DCs. Moved out and back for work.

Now live in East Midlands. We are in a pocket of relatively cheap housing. The down side is that it is an educational and health care black hole. The up side is that we are below average for Covid.

You takes yer money and makes yer choice!

Original poster

Bioprepper · 01/11/2020 14:20

@RedskyAtnight we’ve talked to the DCs about it and they are ok. DS is 18 can still travel to college via train until he passes his test from his grandparents 3 times a week and come home for the weekends and wouldn’t be too bad so he’ll still see his mates etc. My youngest DD is a bit of a lone wolf and doesn’t mind moving for a fresh start. Eldest DD is a bit like me and is worried about making new friends etc but she is very outgoing and I think she will be fine and make friends pretty quick. None of them have said they don’t want to move.

You all seem to have very positive experiences! We have been looking more and more for houses but haven’t found anything we like yet. I think we are just going to do it!

OP posts:

goody2shooz · 01/11/2020 15:09

I’m sure you’ll have a great time in a new place, good for you! Happy hunting! 💐

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread