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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tell me your party hosting secrets

79 replies

parrty · 30/10/2020 12:02

AIDBU because i'm using this board purely for traffic but tomorrow I am hosting a party for 20 people (before anyone gets their knickers in a twist i'm not in the UK its is 100% legal where I am and myself and my guests are happy covid is well controlled enough here that its safe to go ahead)
Now my question is I have never actually hosted a party before, please can you tell me your top hosting tips, things i've probably forgotten and need. Timing is late lunch, food will be served in buffet/help yourself form so if you have any crowd pleasing failsafe food suggestions that would be great also.

I'm probably over thinking it but I moved a the start of the year and due to covid didn't get much of a chance to settle and make friends now things have gotten back to normal i'd really like things to go well and not get myself a reputations as the areas worst hostess.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 30/10/2020 12:06

Food, food, and more food. Any special dietary needs? I’m veggie, there’s never enough veggie options as the omnivores get in there and chomp it all.

Get someone on drinks duty, no one likes an empty glass. Plenty of non-alcohol options. You need more glasses than you think you need. You don’t want to be washing them.

Check the loo/bathroom. That’s a lot of people potentially using it and I hate finding a wet hand towel when using someone else’s facilities.

I’m pea green. Bloody love a party and it’s looking like a long time till we’ll be legally able to do so again.

CovidClara · 30/10/2020 12:06

But the best champagne and alcohol. Make sure everyone arriving knows where the drinks are anyhow to help themselves.

Have 2 house cocktails- depending on season.

Do not allow any guests to bring any alcohol/food/gifts all

Send everyone home with food parcels- saves on clearing up

Hire someone to cook/serve drinks if you can afford it.

Spied · 30/10/2020 12:11

Great music, comfy areas to sit with lots of cushions (that you won't mind getting spillages on). Side tables to put on drinks.

AriettyHomily · 30/10/2020 12:14

What sort of party?

Lots of food
Lots of alcohol
Lots of nice soft drink

Food depends where you are, is it hot/cold?

Do absolutely as much as you can before guests arrive. A stressed out host is not relaxing.

Original poster
parrty · 30/10/2020 12:16

One veggie and a few veggie options for foodstuff good point about it getting chomped i'll get her to make a plate up before serving up everything maybe.
We have a lovely maid who agreed to switch her weekend for some weekdays so she will be working. Won't be serving food and drinks but can make sure the bathroom is clean and wash up plates glasses etc. although the main reason she was asked is so I don't spend all afternoon stopping my naughty pack of dogs bothering people for food.

OP posts:
Original poster
parrty · 30/10/2020 12:19

arietty I think garden party would probably best fit it I am trying to keep things simple and chilled, should be hot but could rain later on.

OP posts:
speakout · 30/10/2020 12:23

What is the the venue- your home? Inside? Outside? Will it be warm or cold? Will people be in the garden or inside or a bit of both?
How much space do you have- can you comfortably seat 20 people?
Space may determine the type of food, whether guests have a table to sit at- or a plate balanced on their knee while sitting, or whether they will have to stand and eat.

If it is an afternoon event you won't need as much alcohol, but people may want soft drinks, tea etc.

An afternoon "party" is not a usual thing in the UK, perhaps lunch with drinks.
I would also decide a finishing time- assuming you don't want it to last until midnight!

StephenBelafonte · 30/10/2020 12:26

My advice is to avoid buffets like the plague - they are sooo boring. Instead make a great big bowl of chilli or spaghetti bolognese and plonk that in the middle of the table with rice/pasta/salads/bread etc. Much easier than a buffet too. then finish with a couple of cakes.

Agree with everyone else though re plenty of food and booze.

ladybee28 · 30/10/2020 12:29

I'll probably be flamed for this but I give everyone a (small) job when they arrive, and try to put people together who don't know one another.

So I'll put a friend from work together with a friend from school to grab dishes and cutlery out from the kitchen and put them out on the buffet table.

And I'll ask someone who doesn't know many people to nip around with a bottle of wine and check people's glasses, but get them to ask my partner to get the bottle out of the pantry, so they'll meet.

And I'll sit a couple of people together to chop up some veggies for dipping, and when someone new arrives, ask them to join them.

Obviously not AS SOON AS they arrive, but if they look remotely at a loss I'll give them a drink and a job. That way nobody's hanging around awkwardly, things get done quickly, and people are pre-mingled.

No doubt some MNers will be outraged by this idea, but luckily I only hang out with lovely people who are always happy to roll up their sleeves and muck in, so...

Original poster
parrty · 30/10/2020 12:31

speakout Venue is my house, Garden and kitchen which opens out onto garden will be the main areas I would think unless it starts to pour down. I've just counted and with the outdoor chairs and kitchen chairs I have 15 seats. Might ask BIL if he can bring some of his fold down garden chairs so nobody has to stand.

I agree the concept of an afternoon party confused me too but is very much the done thing here usually a help yourself style lunch or BBQ with copious amounts of alcohol. The concept has grown on me because you can go have a party, drink, eat and still be tucked up in bed by midnight.

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FraughtwithGin · 30/10/2020 12:32

Invite a mix of people.
Introduce them all to one another (if they are not already acquainted) with 1 piece of information about each person, for example:
"Peter, this is FraughtwithGin whom I met many years ago on a bungee jumping course."
If having a dinner party, do a seating plan.
If having a drinks party, ensure that guests get a drink immediately and that any food is easily eaten in 1 or 2 bites and does not need anything complicated like spoons or forks.
Try to establish a one-way system for a buffet, easiest way is to start the buffet with plates, knives, forks etc. and napkins and arrange the food in eating order. Consider a separate table for puddings and cheese, if space allows.
Ensure that there are enough soft drinks/water as well as wine, beer etc.

DryRoastPeanut · 30/10/2020 12:50

~You’ll probably need more food and more drink than you think.
~Be ready early, someone will always turn up 45 minutes early with a genuine reason.
~have plenty of glasses, plates, napkins and bin bags.
~ Have someone or a couple of someones there early, so as whoever does arrive first doesn’t feel awkward.
~try to have fun and don’t forget to mingle.

SpeccyLime · 30/10/2020 13:45

Do not allow any guests to bring any alcohol/food/gifts all

I’m intrigued - how do you stop this without being rude? I always tell guests there’s no need to bring anything but nobody ever turns up empty handed (and I would never go to a party without bringing something for the host / hostess!)

CovidClara · 30/10/2020 13:51

@SpeccyLime

Do not allow any guests to bring any alcohol/food/gifts all

I’m intrigued - how do you stop this without being rude? I always tell guests there’s no need to bring anything but nobody ever turns up empty handed (and I would never go to a party without bringing something for the host / hostess!)

I say no- when they ask what to bring I say nothing. Repeat endlessly. We joke that we will be upset if they bring anything etc etc

We have a couple of big parties every year and they all know now. They turn up saying- we have nothing as instructed.

One person does bring gorgeous flowers and I let them off.
I cant manage endless flowers (which we already have for the party) cheap wine (which I dont want and some food banks wont take) unchilled champagne or random gifts. We dont really eat chocolate etc etc

BudgieHammockBananaSmuggler · 30/10/2020 13:52

Just tell us where you live. Unless your country has a population less than 1,000 is unlikely to be outing.

WombatChocolate · 30/10/2020 13:54

Watch Bridget Jones and se how she introduces guests to each other with 'fascinating facts'!

Original poster
parrty · 30/10/2020 14:00

ladybee I actually really like that idea, there won't be much to do because I like to have everything ready to go so I can relax but sending someone round with the wine etc. is a good suggestion as there will be a few guests who know nobody other than their partners. I know I personally always find myself in the kitchen helping because I find the start of party mingling excruciating.
Dryroast Knowing the people invited they will all be late but I am an early person anyway I drive my DP mad because to me a 5pm invite means 5pm maybe 5.10 but to him it means turn up sometime around 6. I admittedly told my guests 30 mins before I had planned to because I knew they'd be late
speccylime I agree I have told anybody who asked there is no need to bring anything at all but if someone turns up with something it would be pretty rude to make them put it back in the car

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Original poster
parrty · 30/10/2020 14:02

budgiehammock Where I live has no bearing on my question so I don't feel the need to include it. I only put in it was abroad to avoid hundreds of how can you be having a party isn't that against the rules etc etc.

OP posts:
Harriedharriet · 30/10/2020 14:10

As a guest I like it when there are enough places to sit, enough places to put down my drink, coasters a plenty (especially of the furniture is good mahogany etc), someone who looks out for me (host) if I feel akward and do not know a lot of people.
As a host I try to do all the above! I will often ask the most shy person I know if they would help me fill glasses etc, and I go with them to start them off.
Regarding food - I think a few dishes done very well trumps a lot of dishes done badly. I also have savoury, sweet, and drinks (plus tea and coffee) in differnt areas of the room/garden to get people moving.
May I join? I would love a carefree social event!

Harriedharriet · 30/10/2020 14:12

Oh - colour! Flowers. My mother had a clever trick - vases of large green foliage with one or two blooms. Creates an inexpensive wow! Smarties in crystal bowls was another of her tricks! Grin

CovidClara · 30/10/2020 14:16

@Harriedharriet

As a guest I like it when there are enough places to sit, enough places to put down my drink, coasters a plenty (especially of the furniture is good mahogany etc), someone who looks out for me (host) if I feel akward and do not know a lot of people. As a host I try to do all the above! I will often ask the most shy person I know if they would help me fill glasses etc, and I go with them to start them off. Regarding food - I think a few dishes done very well trumps a lot of dishes done badly. I also have savoury, sweet, and drinks (plus tea and coffee) in differnt areas of the room/garden to get people moving. May I join? I would love a carefree social event!
I put desserts inside in the dining room even when an outside party. Protects them from insects and keeps them cool

I usually have a sweet table for children as well with little bun cardboard cases that they can fill.

ninninannonoonoo · 30/10/2020 14:42

@BudgieHammockBananaSmuggler

Just tell us where you live. Unless your country has a population less than 1,000 is unlikely to be outing.
Why do you need to know this?
Original poster
parrty · 30/10/2020 14:45

@Harriedharriet thanks, just called BIL and he's bringing extra chairs so there will be a seat for everyone
@CovidClara No kids attending but i'll keep that in mind for future events thankyou

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36weekswithno2 · 30/10/2020 14:55

I'm so jealous

orangenasturtium · 30/10/2020 14:56

Are you an ex pat? When I lived abroad, anything British went down well with other Brits as a reminder of home and everyone else because it is something different.

Make sure the food is easy to eat one handed and there are plenty of places to rest glasses if people aren't eating at a table. You will need a lot more glasses than you think as people will put them down to eat and forget which glass is theirs.

It's Halloween so you could make a nod to the date with Halloween candy for the children or in your decorations. Whether you go kitsch (pumpkin lanterns) or tasteful (autumnal coloured flowers) is up to you!