DP and I have had long term issues but have a toddler DC. I don't think he is very engaged with family life and spends loads of time on his phone and doesn't seem that excited at all by DC's milestones and daily life. He is very defensive when I've brought it up and seems to focus on the criticism of him being offensive rather than looking at whether it's true. I have the whole mental load and I can't rely on him to remember anything. It feels to me like although he does give DC some attention, it's like a tick box exercise before going back to his phone. He is often zoned out and gets easily bored. All of the issues between us are long and complex but ultimately, I would like to make it work if possible - for many reasons. He has threatened to leave on many occasions - and sometimes I think that would be for the best . But overall, I don't think I feel mentally ready yet to accept it's over yet. Probably I'm too sentimental to just accept it's over. The home we live in is mine and he says he wants to buy a place of his own as a financial investment. I feel that is essentially him just planning his escape while he lingers on with us until it suits him to leave. If this is the case, I would want him to rent something now and go sooner as I don't want him hanging about waiting for a house purchase! He insists it's just an investment. I have pointed out that if we were trying to make a go of things , buying an investment flat would be something we would consider together. He says as the house is mine, he needs his own protection and he's not leaving but buying as an investment flat . I feel I would have no dignity to allow my partner and father of DC to be buying his own flat while carrying on in the meantime with family life in a checked out way and essentially using us, I feel. Am I being unreasonable? Would you allow this to happen or would you suggest that instead of buying, he goes now with a rental property? Or is it reasonable for him to have his own place in the event we can't make it work?