What are people doing about newborn visiting?

[Jollypostman1991]

I’m sorry because I know this has probably been asked many times. It’s not so much an AIBU, but I want to get everyone’s opinions, not just people on parenting or pregnancy threads. Baby is due in a couple of weeks and we live in a Tier 3 area.

One set of grandparents live in a Tier 1 area with very very low rates, but they live with two teenagers who go to secondary school. The other set of grandparents live in a Tier 2 area, probably soon to go into a Tier 3. None of the grandparents are vulnerable, apart from second set who are over 60. All of them live 2+ hours away from us and none of them are particularly compliant with Covid prevention, though they would respect our wishes about meeting the baby.

We want grandparents to meet the baby. What would people do? Meet outside for a walk? Allow into the house and have a cuddle wearing a mask? Have a cuddle with no mask? Not have them visit until we come out of Tier 3, as it isn’t an essential visit, so potentially they first meet their grandchild at 3-4 months old?!

Tier 3 can’t mix with anyone indoors or outdoors can they? So they’ll have to wait until the restrictions are lifted. Lots of people had babies at the height of lockdown and their families didn’t meet the baby either. It’s a weird time but they might have to meet the baby via zoom.

Even in Tier 3 you can meet in groups of up to 6 in some outdoor spaces, so parks etc but not your garden. I think that's your answer.

My parents are tier 3. They live with my brother who is NHS frontline worker so they have said they won’t meet the new baby as they don’t want to risk passing on anything. I have really appreciated their stance as it takes the pressure off. I don’t want to put my new baby at risk.

My PIL have met the new baby briefly with masks, hand sanitising and no kissing the baby rules. They both work in offices, and came by train to visit us. I was on edge the whole time they were here and wish I had just said no to them visiting.

Newborn babies with no underlying health conditions have died from Covid, so I think you are totally justified putting in whatever rules you feel are right.

We’ve only recently gone into tier 3 and I’m still confused. I thought you could still meet in a public park (adhering to the rule of six). Happy to be corrected on that.

I know I’ve suggested things that go against the rules. But that’s because I know several people with newborns who aren’t following the rules and I know that’s what our families will be expecting. Just wanting to get a broader range of opinion than my immediate peers and family on how people are managing this.

I’m a FTM and had my DS during the first lockdown. In all honesty it was quite nice not to have visitors for the first few weeks as we got used to being a family of three. When restrictions were lifted so you could meet outside my parents came over and I let them come inside and hold him, no mask but hands washed etc first. Yes it was against the rules but they are both retired, we weren’t going out anywhere and neither were they. I decided the risk was very low and it was better for me mentally to do it as it was really starting to get me down.

The PIL weren’t comfortable with that and so we only met them outside and they didn’t hold him.

These are moments you only get once but obviously we are in a global pandemic which make things a little tricky..... you have to do what is right for you, within reason!!!

DS was 1 month old when my parents came over.

My baby is due anytime now, currently in a tier 2 area but we could be moved to tier 3 anytime now (Leeds). Even in tier 3 you can meet outside in a park in up to groups of 6 so I think we will probably do that but no cuddles and not straight away. My sister is my childcare bubble so she'll need to watch my son whilst I'm in hospital so she may get to meet baby when we come home. My parents are both over 70 so is not want to risk them unnecessarily but if they're happy with a park I'm happy with that. This baby is the only baby girl in nearly 40 years so they're desperate to meet her. My husband's family is all in Wales so they won't meet her for awhile.

I really wish they’d all take it more seriously, then I wouldn’t feel like such an odd ball for feeling worried. They think Covid is a big overreaction. I wish they’d say that they’ll come up for a walk to meet the baby, but I know they’re all hoping we’ll just say ‘come and stay for a night and have completely normal access to a newborn’ and there’s no way I’m comfortable with that. It also doesn’t help that I’ve got friends who until recently were going to busy restaurants with their two day old baby! It helps seeing what other people think, thanks