About parents and rule of 6

[katedan]

We are a family of 5 and DS and DSB are both families of 4 so since rule of 6 have been brought in DP will not visit our home together unless one of my children are out. Meanwhile they are going out to restaurants etc with DS and her family and DSB and his family ( separate trips not breaking rule of 6) I am now finding this upsetting and it has caused a row as I feel I am being penalised for having 3 children. All the kids are teens so in school which I accept can be a risk DP are early 80s and I do accept we would not be allowed a table for 7 in a restaurant but I have spoken about christmas and they will go to DS and DSB but not us due to rule of 6. I have always felt the black sheep of the family so cannot work out AIBU?

Honestly the rule of 6 is the rule of 6, not 7.

They're doing what they're meant to do.

Fwiw I don't agree with it and I think many people are now ignoring it.

I get why you’re upset, but the rule of six is the law, so whilst you may be justified in not agreeing with the law, it’s unreasonable to be upset with them for not being willing to break it.

It shows why the rule of 6 makes no sense.

But they aren’t being unreasonable not wanting to bend the rule.

YABU

They’re following the rules. They’re still visiting you when they can do so without being a group of more than six.

Some people haven’t seen their family for months, so count yourself lucky.

YANBU

I would also be upset and offended in your position regardless of the law. Could your OH go out for the eve and they come over? I know it’s not ideal but they can see your children and you that way? But yes agree it’s bollocks

YABU, they’ve not made the rule, but clearly have chosen to follow the rules (as many still are, but more quietly than many who aren’t). It’s unreasonable to expect them to break the law, or to not see other parts of their family.

I’m sorry, it is rubbish but your parents are just following the law so I don’t think you should take it personally. Of course if they were breaking the law for one sibling but not for you that would be different but they are just sticking to the rule of 6.

They are following the law.

The law is rubbish but it’s the law

Would they come round to see you one at a time?

What do you expect them to do - not see other people just because you are a family of 5?! They’re clearly following the rules, I think you’re being very unreasonable.

It’s rubbish but I don’t think it’s unreasonable of them to choose to stick to the rules. I also think it’s not unreasonable in many cases for people to not stick to some of the rules. I haven’t invited my parents for Christmas Dinner because it would break the current rules (tier 2) even though it seems really stupid given they help us with childcare every week. If it came to it I wouldn’t stop them coming to see the kids if they said they wanted to because I’d feel like it was a shitty way to behave toward them after all their help when the additional risk to anyone is so insignificant. Maybe you & the kids could meet your parents without your OH? It’s naff but it would be allowed at least

Well you are being penalised for having three children! You'll just have to accept it.

Thank you everyone, always useful to here some sense. Out of interest for those who have 3 or more kids how are you managing? Have you just accepted you wont see more than one person at a time until rules change?

Three kids here.

Accepted that we cannot see another family or couple.

It’s rubbish but it’s the law

It’s meant that I cannot go and see the in-laws so dh has just taken the kids for the day . Whilst I had a lovely relaxing time at home

@katedan we are a family of 5 and yes, we are only having one visitor at a time. Dh is taking DC to his parents without me and I'm meeting friends alone. It sucks but it's the law.

You are being penalised for being a family of 5, but by the government not by your parents.
Do they live far?
If people not in tier 3 are allowed in homes, could your parents come over to see you separately?
You can still see your parents, just not in the way you'd like.

They are not getting at you, just simply following the rules

Would your husband go out so they can dine and visit you and the kids?

Christmas is obviously something different

They are following the rules, they shouldn’t have to break them because it suits you. You can still see them, just have to work within the rules.

Yes I can see them separately and can visit on my own. It is useful to hear other peoples views as I think I have got lost with feeling it was unfair as they are seeing my siblings and going out together etc but not me and my family and maybe not seeing the bigger picture.

Just remember that it’s not personal. It’s the law, not your parents discriminating