Hello all.
My lovely friend is splitting with her DP. He's being controlling and trying to bully her.
I think she needs legal advice but if anyone can answer any questions now that would be brilliant.
I'll try not to drop feed.
They've been together for 17 years have a 15 year old DD and my friend has a grown up daughter from a previous relationship who lives independently and not in the family home.
They own 2 properties and a static caravan. Their first property is in his name only and they lived there for a number of years where they paid 50/50 on the bills and mortgage. It is now a rental and has tenants. The second property (family home) is in joint names although since January only my friend has paid the mortgage and now all the bills.
My friend is the slightly higher earner and they are not married.
Her P has made numerous mistakes which has resulted in bouts of unemployment and he will probably be prosecuted later this year for his latest. Let's say his hobby isn't cycling.
My friend has carried him through these times and paid for everything but this latest bout was the last straw. Hence the relationship breakdown.
He is telling her she has to sell the house immediately. He has quoted her an offer that he says he's had (might be untrue as she hasn't seen a valuer come round but she may have been at work) and that he's "happy" with. This offer is somewhat lower than what they paid for the house and doesn't take account of the brand new kitchen (that she alone paid for) that has been added as well as other improvements.
If they were to sell at this price and split the small equity she thinks she might be able to give him this sum (borrowing to buy him out). She also thinks she might be able to afford the mortgage on her own. She has excellent credit rating and is very good with money and budgeting etc.
The abusive part is that he has stopped paying all his share of the bills. Council tax, sky, Netflix and a few others. He had also taken a lot of their belongings (the TV which she bought) and is trying to make her life miserable. He lives in the caravan mostly but comes and goes as he pleases eating her food but contributing nothing.
He has sent lots of abusive texts calling her horrid names. He has tried to turn their daughter against her where my lovely friend had always tried to shield their DD from the massive cockups her dad has made over the years. He is telling my friend to sort everything out because he and their DD will be homeless at Christmas and that their DD wants nothing to do with her.
I've told my friend to screenshot and keep the abusive messages. She thinks it isn't abuse as such because he hasn't hit her but she is frightened to annoy him in case he "keys her car".
So where does my friend stand? She knows she has to start paying all the bills but if he has stopped does that mean he shouldn't be able to live there?
Can she change the locks and report him for theft? I'm pretty sure she's not allowed to do that but he's so intimidating and nasty I really want her to be free of him ASAP.
So can anyone advise what her rights are please?
Also, can anybody recommend a good family law solicitor preferably with first consultation free? If sessions are presumably virtual then it won't matter which part of the country she is?
Thanks for reading this long post and I'm sorry about it being in AIBU but I wanted the footfall to offer any help I can.
She's seeing him this evening and I don't think she knows what he can and can't do.