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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To worry about consequences of this?

6 replies

BitWorriedOct2020 · 26/10/2020 19:53

I reported my husband for drunk driving. He is an alcoholic. In the moment of calling I didn’t think of keeping things anonymous and told the call handler my name. I stressed that he must never find out it is me phoning. The call handler said they’d put it down as a ‘manner of driving’ call but did take my name. He was picked up and has been charged and now a solicitor has told him they’ll be getting the police records. I am genuinely scared about him finding out it was me. Is there anyone who can advise me on whether the police would tell the solicitor it was me?
YABU: stop worrying, your name won’t be mentioned
YANBU: police records will include who phoned in and you should make plans now

OP posts:
Bunnybigears · 26/10/2020 19:55

If you are at the stage of calling the police on him are you also at the stage of wanting to leave him? To be honest I would tell him myself unless you feel this puts you in danger.

flaviaritt · 26/10/2020 19:56

I can’t, but you should call the police back and make sure this is not disclosed. They have a duty of care to you.

HeddaGarbled · 26/10/2020 20:05

If the police routinely passed on the names of witnesses and informants to solicitors acting for the accused, there’d be an awful lot of people with knee injuries.

AlwaysCheddar · 26/10/2020 20:21

You did the right thing, that’s what matters.

covetingthepreciousthings · 26/10/2020 20:22

I am genuinely scared about him finding out it was me

Is he violent OP? This worries me, you've absolutely done the right thing in this situation Thanks

duggeeismynewbestfriend · 26/10/2020 20:23

@BitWorriedOct2020

It depends is the answer. If the CPs prosecute him for the driving offences they witnesses then there will be no need for anyone to obtain the command and control entry.

If however he is challenging the basis upon which he was stopped etc then they could ask to see the material.

It isn't routinely sought in drink driving cases, I suspect that is just the solicitor speak for I will do a great job.

But I would contact the Police and advise that you are concerned and ask them to withhold your details in the command and control entry and also in the police statements.

Ultimately I think he could be entitled to it but it would be unusual to go looking. He will know that whoever reported his driving did so out of concern it would rarely be in his interests to have that person called etc.

Hope that helps. But I do think you perhaps need to consider the wider issue of how safe you are in this relationship

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