A few weeks ago I had a heated falling out with someone I would consider my best friend. We were both horribly in the wrong; equally so, and it was made worse by the fact that I was really unwell at the time and not so with it due to a cocktail of steroids. I am in no way an a innocent party here; I had a right to be upset which they acknowledged but as I was so unwell I got very very upset. The reason for the argument isn’t really important here.
We left it with them saying they needed time to cool off
I expected them to text when they had cooled down and felt we’d be the good friends I thought we were and walk through it We talk every few days usually.
I’ve heard nothing. For weeks, I suspect this is a signal our friendship is over for good, and I suspect we would struggle to repair the trust now anyway. We had started to drift apart, have different interests and less in common. I think there have been a couple of years of underlying issues festering but I never thought that our friendship would end just that we were suffering poor circumstances
Anyway, onto the reason for this post. I have found myself grieving for this friendship intensely. I feel incredibly sad and find myself looking at other people’s friendships and wondering if I’ll have ever have a close like that friendship again. I am shocked at how much I am saddened by it and even considering therapy. It may be as it’s lock down and I can’t connect with other friends as well, I don’t know. I do have a lovely husband and kids and fun time friends but for years I’ve loved having that go to really close friend.
I am not sure what response I’m after but perhaps some tips on how to move forward or maybe some reassurance that good friendships can be formed after 35? I’m not sure we can repair our friendship now, but I guess like when you break up from a guy you think you’ll never meet the one again.