AIBU to think this isn't normal, is it?

[DelvingintoInsanity]

I think I'm going insane.

I have been constantly dreaming about my first love. When I say constantly, I mean, pretty much every night, sometimes every other. This has been happening for over a year. It's incredibly intense to the point I find myself then thinking about him during the day because of the dreams.

I haven't seen him for about six years. We were never actually even together. I liked him for several years and had no idea how he felt about me. Nothing ever happened between us. So, why, oh why, do I keep having these intense dreams about him and then spend a large part of my day thinking about him too?

I'm in a happy relationship with DC but a small part of me one day hopes that I'll see him again.

Ugh!

It's probably not even about him. Feeling trapped? Stuck in a rut? Miss the freedom of your past maybe?

No, I don't think so. I don't feel like that at all.

If you're having dreams about this guy nearly every night for a year something is clearly not right in your relationship or life at the moment. When did the dreams start? What has been happening recently that could cause them? Is it lockdown? I think you need to do some deep thinking about how you feel in the dreams and what you may be missing in the real world that is making your subconscious bring this guy up in your mind all the time. It's common to have themes in dreams that reoccur but as far as I am aware it's very strange to be dreaming about the same person consistently.

There's nothing I can pinpoint specifically. Nothing wrong with life or relationship. I suppose deep down, I never truly stopped thinking about this guy but over the past year or so it has become much more frequent than normal. If I go to bed worried or anxious, etc. I dream bad things like my teeth cracking or whatever. But this is different. The dreams about him usually revolve around us finding each other again or admitting our feelings for each other and both feeling the same. I wake up feeling happy and I've enjoyed it so much I will myself to fall back to sleep and continue the dream and it works.

Your lucid dreaming to a point. If you think about something before you go to sleep, if you can lucid dream this influences
Your dream. Seems like your doing this unknowingly.

Also if your still thinking about him, your fantasising.
Your imaging the life you thought you would have with him.

Try thinking about something else and see if it changes your dream pattern.