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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell you that holiday feeding programmes CAN work

14 replies

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 26/10/2020 12:29

I've posted on a couple of threads about this and I've found it really dispiriting.
It seemed to get polarised really quickly between two competing versions of reality. And neither has any connection to the reality I see out of my window.
I live in a poor area. We're pretty high on the Scottish Index of Multiple Deprivation. But its also a great place to live in many ways. I've made good friends and I'm happy to be raising my children here.
I also work in a job where I have to help people with benefit problems and write out referrals for food banks.
As some posters have pointed out- its really not usual for kids to go hungry. Even if their families are very poor.
Mums will do almost anything to feed their kids. Even if it means skipping other important bills, going without food themselves, shoplifting etc...Mothers have all sorts of strategies.
As other posters have said- if a kid is regularly going hungry there's likely something else going on. Often addiction or neglect. Less often: some kind of short term emergency. Sometimes immigration issues.
The very worst, heart-breaking situations I've seen are where the family is excluded from public funds because of their immigration status and either they aren't allowed to work or the work they have doesn't cover their basic needs.
I can think of one child who was hospitalised for malnutrition. His situation was along those lines. And it was tragic because his Mum made so many sacrifices. She was barely eating herself. And it still wasn't good enough. She was devastated.
So I agree with lots of what’s been said but the conclusions people were drawing seemed so wrong. Posters seemed to think that because so many Mums sacrifice and feed their kids somehow that’s problem solved. Let her carry on sacrificing and struggling. Any help you provide is unnecessary.
And others who seemed to think that because, yes sadly neglect is a thing, the only answer is punitive. More social workers. Take more kids away (away to where?). Any help you provide to the kids is wasted effort.
The reason this is frustrating to me is that we do have a feeding programme in my area. It’s really well used and it does the job. It works for the majority of families who need a bit of help to make life less of a bloody struggle and for the minority of kids who are being neglected.
It’s a free summer activity scheme with different things going on each day. A packed lunch is provided and kids can pick up a microwave meal to take away at the end of the day.
The activities act as window dressing to make the free food acceptable to families who would otherwise be too proud to take it.
It also provides an incentive to very, very few families who might not prioritise their kids. Almost everyone is happy to have their kids to be taken off their hands for a day. Kids aged 8 and over don’t even need their parents to sign them in. They can just pop down and join in.
It also helps that it’s for everyone...there’s no gatekeeping or having to prove that you really need it. People like me who aren’t in any particular need can always make a discreet donation.
So there you go: disguise the purpose, make it easy to access and don’t gate keep. Not rocket science.

And yet we had such a frustrating debate where even posters that seemed to understand the issues were arguing for the exact opposite solutions. Either making the help very highly targeted on stigmatised groups, tying it to punitive intervention or not bothering at all.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 26/10/2020 12:32

That sounds wonderful but how do you keep a check on the numbers? Free holiday childcare with food provided - surely it's majorly over subscribed

fuckfuckingcovid19 · 26/10/2020 12:34

I work in a similar role to you.

There is a charity called well fed Scotland that is amazing - is that the one you're talking about?

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 26/10/2020 12:38

It great what you are doing. I would love to do similar but work full time so not possible. We need more “cooking clubs” in areas where, like you say there are kids who need a meal and that support. You are amazing and people should listen to you 😀

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 26/10/2020 12:45

That sounds wonderful but how do you keep a check on the numbers? Free holiday childcare with food provided - surely it's majorly over subscribed

I'm not sure of all the practicalities tbh. I know they train up teenagers from the youth club as "young volunteers" so that probably helps with ratios.

Also that under fives need to be accompanied by a parent. Presumably thats because the ratio of adults to children would be prohibitive for the younger kids

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StealthPolarBear · 26/10/2020 12:49

Sounds very sensible.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 26/10/2020 12:49

There is a charity called well fed Scotland that is amazing - is that the one you're talking about?

Its not that one! I know of it though and I agree its great :)

It great what you are doing

Woah! Its not me doing it! I only participate in this as a client!
Sometimes I chuck them a donation. Once I did some facepainting. (Three adorable tween girls all wanted to be Pennywise Grin )
Thats the limit of my involvement!

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unlimiteddilutingjuice · 26/10/2020 12:53

We need more “cooking clubs” in areas where, like you say there are kids who need a meal and that support

Before Covid the community centre used to have "Big Cook-Little Cook" parent and child cooking classes. They were very popular

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GalesThisMorning · 26/10/2020 12:54

In New York the playgrounds are used as access points for free school meals at the holidays. Any child in the playground at lunch time can have a lunch bag. They are large enough to be shared between a young child and a mum, although I dont know if that's the intention or if its just portion sizes.

There is no eligibility, if you are there you can eat. I don't know the stats or anything but it can't cost that much, there is limited stigma, children get fed, and what better use of tax payers money is there anyway? It works. Kids can get a meal.

bookishtartlet · 26/10/2020 12:54

We have a similar sounding programme, there are 3 or 4 locations in my mid sized town (Central belt) where 25% of kids are in poverty. They are wonderful resources, and don't seem to be overrun. Much of the local community support it and there are often big donations from companies eg Easter eggs. Scotland sometimes appears a different planet from England.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 26/10/2020 12:58

Scotland sometimes appears a different planet from England

Exactly! It was so frustrating to watch page after page of posters wringing their hands and saying "Oh its all so complicated. Noting can be done"
And I was hopping up and down going: "But...but...we're doing it!"

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fuckfuckingcovid19 · 26/10/2020 13:02

Its not that one! I know of it though and I agree its great :)

Well fed is awesome. I've taken my son to their holiday schemes several times and give them a large donation. We don't need the food but their activities are good and it's nice to have the chance to mix with new people. I also think it's really good that it's open to all as it avoids stigma.

As with you I'm not sure of the practicalities but they really do seem to work. Children at well fed are with a carer/parent though so not childcare as such so maybe no risk of it being swamped. The parents get a meal and get to do activities with their kids that they might not have been otherwise doing.

The staff & volunteers are so welcoming and lovely to everyone.

fuckfuckingcovid19 · 26/10/2020 13:04

And yes as a pp said there is a lot of community support for these schemes. I donate money, a friend of mine volunteers her time and was delivering meals and activity packs during the height of the lockdown.

RunBackwards · 26/10/2020 13:13

Do you reach the right people? I'm also in a very deprived area and when my boys were small used to go along to several groups that were run with funding gained because we are a deprived area, although they were open to all.

They used to offer things like day trips, toddler groups with food provided, even pamper sessions for mums, all free. Which was great but nothing I couldn't/shouldn't have paid for. I didn't feel guilty because numbers were so low I wasn't taking anyone's place and I did some volunteering there too. The people I met there were like me, not people who "needed" the service.

I love the fact that so many people and businesses have offered meals, I think providing meals is probably better than vouchers but I'm still not sure that those most in need will be reached.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 26/10/2020 14:21

Do you reach the right people? I'm also in a very deprived area and when my boys were small used to go along to several groups that were run with funding gained because we are a deprived area, although they were open to all

I'd say so, yes.

Without delving into everyones personal circumstances..I seem to be by far the poshest person there. And I'm not at all posh by Mumsnet standards Grin

It helps that although the funding is from the Scottish Government, the scheme is delivered by a local charity. They also run a youth group during term time that is very popular.
Parents taking their kids there now, will tell you how much they loved going as a kid.
So it doesn't feel like do gooders from outside. Its the youth club you usually use- with the addition of sandwiches.

As fuckingfuckingcovid said- theres a lot of community support for the scheme. Mums will often volunteer in some capacity.

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