Moving DC to multiple houses

[Mallemo]

Interested in other perspectives as I can’t see how this is a problem.

We bought a lovely little house just before we had our first baby and went on to have 3 very close in age. We always planned to move onto the better catchment area locally and we were saving furiously. We sent them to nursery in the better school catchment area a few minutes drive away so that when they made friends, they’d hopefully retain them in school. When the eldest turned 3, we moved just up the road into that catchment area for the outstanding local school. It was the only house we could afford in that area and, although a very charming little house, is slightly on the small side. However, it’s been great for the kids and they live by all their friends from nursery so we used to meet up regularly (pre-Covid). Two years after our move, we are able to afford a bigger house and have agreed a sale on ours and agreed purchase of another one - it’s literally just around the corner. One minute walk from our current home just a bit bigger! It won’t be our last home, we’re Hopi to move again into another slightly bigger home in a few years, again in the same area.

So here’s the thing, a family member says she’s concerned that moving the kids is stressful / traumatic for them. It’s the exact same area though?! They’ve always retained the same friends and will stay in the same school. Would you see this as an issue? Or should we be staying put here until we can afford our dream family home?

It will be fine. They will be a little unsettled but school and area will stay the same so they will recover.

My DC found moving home quite an emotionally difficult time but as many things stayed the same they settled quickly.

I wouldn't be too worried about what you're doing, except I couldn't face paying out moving costs repeatedly!

No I would not see it as an issue. I am sure you are raising resilient children, it sounds like in a very safe and loving environment.

You are doing the best for your family. Maybe your family member does not like change or is jealous in some way.

I can't imagine wanting to move that often - so expensive for not much gain, unless you're in a fast rising market? But no, I can't imagine moving house that often, in the same area, will have a detrimental effect on them. I lived in 6 completely different areas in my childhood, which wasn't brilliant, but if they'd all been house moves in the same area, I doubt I'd have noticed!

Does she know that not everyone buys one big house and lives in it while their kids grow up? Does she know that a huge number of kids grow up in private rented homes where they may have to move with 2 months notice at pretty much any point? Others live in precarious temporary accommodation??
I don't know why you're even entertaining such a nonsense idea. Don't give it headspace.

Thanks everyone - just wanted to check I wasn’t overlooking something regarding how stressful it would be on the kids. They don’t seem phased at all, probably because it’ll be the same school, same local park, same local café, same library etc They love living by their friends even at this age so we wouldn’t move away as such. We can’t afford all the space they’ll probably want as teenagers just yet but we’re saving and saving - plus the market here is rising rapidly even now - and working our way up at work. We’ll get there! Even if we don’t, our house is a lovely little place and they’re very loved so I’d hate them to feel insecure!! Family member doesn’t approve of the moving but we all make different choices in life, we’re just doing our best!

Depends on the kids. I moved endlessly as a kid and have lived in about 25 houses in my life (43) and couldn't care less. Circumstances out of my control mean DD has lived in 5 in 11 years, all in the same area. I left her dads house to rent, then bought something run down. Did it up, made a big profit, moved to something small but lovely. Met DH, had 2 babies, needed more than 2 bed cottage, so moved again.

Makes no odds to her. Bigger houses, more room to play, nicer home. She has me, her dad still close by, all her own things. She hasn't had to pack, pay stamp duty, strip wallpaper - I've done all that. So basically she's gone to school and come home to a house up the road later that day - no big deal.

The only ‘unusual’ part of this is that you are buying houses and moving relatively quickly. If you were renting this would, for lots of families and children, be the norm. It could also be much more emotionally difficult for them as it would often not be your choice (landlord selling etc). I think you are fine!

We lived in 4 houses over my childhood, but we moved when I was 6, 9 and 12. I don't remember feeling unsettled or bothered by it especially. The last time way hard as we moved right across the country but even then it was only a temporary blip.

They’ll be fine! I moved a lot as a kid and struggled but that was because we moved up and down the country and I left all my friends, was always the new kid, etc. If it’s just the house changing and the area stays the same it’s only a small disruption really

My kids have moved more than that, not out of choice, not always within the same area and often to somewhere smaller, less close to their friends, with less selling points (nearby parks, good amenities, less bedrooms, less/no outside space, etc.)

That's what happens when you can't afford to buy a house. Either you're at the mercy of councils who can move you multiple counties/boroughs away, multiple times, at less than a days notice or private rent and be at the mercy of landlords who can evict you at a months or twos notice, retain most of your deposit, not do any repairs, and end up in a cycle of evictions/CCJs/debts. The people who do find more settled accommodation its often by moving so far away from friends and family they have to start all over from scratch with no support networks.

You are in a position of privilege to be improving their lives, you are going everything you can to mitigate the effects of moving, they are not changing their friends, or nursery/school. Happy settled kids make take a short time to adjust, but there is no trauma here. For a large section of society, this level of upheaval is a non issue, and more upheaval still within the realms of what is acceptable and normal.

I lived in the same house in the same area all my childhood until 15 when we moved to a tiny rural village, I can't say that's was a good move but you are staying in the same area. I had to move when my dc was 4 but we've stayed in the same house since then, I'd rather give them the opportunities afforded by a small mortgage.