To not be able to stand the thought of being in a relationship?

[Jericoo]

I wanted to see if anyone feels similarly to me, as I don't know anyone who shares my thoughts. I can't stand the idea of ever being in a committed relationship with someone, sharing my home with a partner, sharing finances with a partner... I just can't trust someone like that. All I want to do is protect myself, and I'd be happy to live this way forever.

Is this in any way normal? To never want to have a serious relationship?

Is it a problem for you? If you're happy that way, fine, but if you're not then I'd maybe explore that

Sounds like you have trust issues. A partner doesn’t have to be someone that’s trying to swindle you, why wouldn’t your money still be protected?

If you're happy what's the problem. Having a husband/partner isn't compulsory.

Have you been in a relationship before? Did you get screwed over?

As long as you're happy then it's fine but I'm guessing you've had bad experiences in the past?

I've never been in a relationship. My father left my mother saddled with thousands of pounds in debt after years of physical abuse.

I also often read on here about financial issues in relationships - unfair split of assets in divorce, one person having to take up the slack for another not earning, etc. So it seems to be a very serious problem to take into account.

Hey ive been single for over 10 yrs. Don't know if i would want to be with someone else either.

No, I've never met anybody who thought like that but you are perfectly entitled to live your life as you wish.

It's only a problem if it's a problem.

It does sound like it is the result of "baggage".

But even then it's only a problem if you end up sort of seeing someone and they wan't to take it further and you don't but you do but you don't and so on so forth then you might need to confront it.

Sorry I forgot to add: friends and family always ask me when I'm going to meet someone, aren't I lonely, put pressure on me

Been divorced for 13 yrs, had a relationship after but that ended.

For what it's worth, I'm happily married for 20 years + and kids etc but if I got divorced or widowed I"m not sure I could be bothered to break in a new one

I’m the same as you. I very much doubt I’ll ever be in another relationship.

I would find it very difficult to share bed and home plus I could never have shared money.

I've been single for 11 years, and have no interest in meeting anyone.
Feel the same as you.

Ive lived on my own for the last 10 years and I'm happy this way. I love my little house and I cant see me ever living with a man again. Im very independent and don't need anyone and its not like we can meet anyone at the min anyway.

I've got no interest in a relationship but I'm a single parent and will likely be living with one or both of my kids for another 15 years + so don't have concerns about being lonely or bored. I guess I might for friendships sake take another partner after that but I have no desire to share my whole life with another adult at all.

It's lovely too hear some other people feel the same as me and are happy - did you ever feel pressure from your family and friends?

I work 3-4 nights a week, so no chance even without covid going on.

did you ever feel pressure from your family and friends?

I am not single now but I was for several years. To be honest when people said things like that it was usually because they were having relationship problems themselves/were trying to reassure themselves their own situation was better than being single even if they were struggling.

Someone, after asking me if anyone was on the cards etc, once said that being single meant I couldn't compromise. Turned out his marriage was on the rocks because he kept going away leaving his wife home with the kids.

A friend's dad once gave me the 3rd degree over why I wasn't married yet. Turned out his daughter and her husband were unemployed and living in a squat and had gone no contact with him and his wife.

In my experience when people ask you want you aren't with someone they are not necessarily being deliberately nasty, but they are definitely thinking about their own situation and not about you.

The reason people are single is because they haven't met anyone they like enough to get together with - obviously you can't make this happen for someone else so it's pretty crappy to go on about it.

As for finances, keep everything separate, pay equally towards things and don't get married, until you are 100% sure about them

I think also reading so many women's terrible situations on MN - being abused, being taken advantage of, having to sacrifice so much for their partner - I think why would any woman ever choose to get involved with that? But ofc women tend not to randomly post when they've have lovely days with their partner and nothing went wrong, so perhaps it's a bit skewed

Also thank you all so much for your replies!

What your mum went through is enough to put anyone off for life. So totally understandable
You can still date someone and enjoy their company and intimacy without living with them if that's what both of you want.