So sick of feeling crap

[Frolicinameadow]

I wake up everyday feeling exhausted. I drag myself through a day of work outside the home and then home to do housework/ kid work.
My body constantly feels tired. I regularly wake with sore ears and throat but it never comes to anything it just goes after a couple of days only to come back again.
Today has been a very very difficult day. I’ve found myself falling asleep each time I sit down. I feel like I could sleep for a week.
AIBU to not want to feel this way all the time? I’m 37 btw not 197 which is how I feel most of the time.

No idea what it could be but you need to be pushy with your GP. Don’t let them think you’re ok and if something comes back clear ask what’s next? This is clearly not acceptable and no way to live. They will dismiss it if they think you’re accepting of it.

6 hours sleep is not enough I imagine in comparison with the demands of your lifestyle.

@Theredjellybean

You work 40 hrs a week with 3, hrs a day commuting and you get 6 hrs sleep a night... Come on its not rocket science why you feel tired. Your life is tiring... Its not medical or dietary or a food allergy... Life like that is exhausting. Add in young children and the grunt work of family life... What do you expect to feel?

I don’t expect to feel constantly I’ll. I sleep as much as my life allows. I don’t have any extra time to sleep so that’s what I get. One of my children is a very poor sleeper so by the time he is in bed at night that’s what I have left. It used to be less. But even when I have more sleep I still don’t feel rested. I can’t understand what the constant feeling of getting a cold/ sore throat is all about.

I will be more pushy with my doctor. We have done rounds of bloods, seeing a dietician, lifestyle changes where possible but I do think it needs to be taken more seriously.

If I don’t get enough sleep I get a sore throat and feel as though I’m starting a cold. Honestly, you aren’t getting enough sleep. Sort that out first. How much time are you spending online? Is your job stressful? It all adds up. Do remember if you’re no longer a teenager you can’t expect to bounce back the same way.

For me, the constant feeling of a sore throat coming that never quite broke through was acid reflux.

But even when I have more sleep I still don’t feel rested.
I can’t understand what the constant feeling of getting a cold/ sore throat is all about.

Have you ever thought about sleep apnea? I can imagine snoring could give you a sore throat? Perhaps ask your partner if you snore, or if you stop breathing on and off?
Good luck, I hope you get it sorted.

I get a sore throat and feelings of cold when I’m run down.
This does sound like you need more sleep. Is there any way you can do that?

I think you need more sleep and maybe look into thyroid issues, coeliac disease, glandular fever and ME.

Have you had your vitamin (b and d could be low) levels tested?

I had exactly this during the summer and tbh it just turned out to be burnout. It's not actually possible to work 4 days a week in a busy job plus have a toddler you have no childcare for (thanks COVID) plus try to feed and keep clean clothes on yourselves never mind the house being a disaster. It was just too much, the Honda under my jaw kept popping up every afternoon and I felt like I was getting a cold all the time only for one to never develop. Mystery solved when childcare came back and it went completely.

You may just be sleeping too little and working to hard and be run down?

I hear you OP. I’m constantly thinking I’ve finally caught Covid because I feel like I’m coming down with something, and am tired all the time even though I generally get 8 hours sleep. It’s shit! I’m thinking it might be peri menopause for me (I’m 41)...

Oh bless you OP, I don't really have a suggestion other than what's been said above but I wanted to say that, no, I don't think this sounds normal. Whatever it is, I think there is a cause of it because you shouldn't feel continually this bad.

I know the doctor will have checked everything but it took me nearly 15 years to get diagnosed with an underactive thyroid (which I now medicate with a very high dose because it really is very underactive). My symptoms were very similar to yours. GP's don't always understand the complexity of the relationships of the various levels and the connections with it to PCOS, diabetes and hashimotos- in the end I had to get referred to an endocrinologist who was much more fine tuned and sorted it out.

Hope you can get to the bottom of it.

I agree with those suggesting you are seeking a medical explanation for tiredness which is caused by a busy life, work, children and insufficient sleep. If you can't find a way to alter any element in that life equation, you are likely to remain tired.

Have you been tested for lupus? Have you had a bad virus some time in your life? Can you pinpoint when this all started?

You need a new job.

I felt very similar when my DC were little. I was constantly tired and run down, always getting colds that involved losing my voice. I was anemic as well, which didn't help. But a lot of it was life style. I was only getting 5-6 hours sleep a night. I was on the go all day with the kids, school runs etc. Then I went out to work evenings (in a very stressful job!). I got in at 11pm each night and needed time to unwind before I got to sleep. I had zero time to myself, ate crap and generally just felt like death.

I swapped jobs, went from working part time evenings to full time days and it made a huge difference in my health. The job was still stressful, but I actually got a decent sleep every night and could get out and do things for myself in the evenings.

I have some kind of gluten sensitivity and this is exactly how I feel if I eat gluten. Allergy testing was negative and I don’t have celiac disease. I just feel really, really awful if I eat gluten. Maybe try cutting it out completely for a few weeks.

Have you had your thyroid checked?

Oh yes OP, I know exact how you feel. For me, it's related to the menopause.

I go to bed at 9pm, read for 1/2 hour or so, wake up at 6am if I'm lucky, but wake up as if I've had no sleep at all. I feel absolutely shattered despite being wide-awake, my body hurts, my brain is completely fuggy and I can't get going at all. I feel like a zombie et everything I do during the day is just a monumental effort. All I can do is drag myself until it's time to go to bed and start again.

The problem is quality of sleep and not getting enough deep and/or REM sleep. That's the repairing stages. Instead, I spend most of the night in light sleep.

I've done absurdly everything that is recommended to increase deep sleep, everything, to no avail. I've tried different meds but none have been the miracle cure.

I'm in a constant state of hyper-arousal in my case due to hormones which I can't control with brain power!

Sorry, I don't have a suction except that in your case, it might be that you indeed suffer from a lifestyle that is too stimulating and the only solution is to make changes in your life to do less, which might feel I possible but ultimately will be imposed on you as you'll get to the point you just can't keep going.

I haven't tried antidepressants yet, I am not clinically depressed at all, but doing some research and antidepressants are not just about depression but also relaxing the brain. It's just hard to know which is est to try as there are so many.

Chronic insomnia is hell. It's so hard to explain to people how it impacts on everything in our life.

I often feel that 'getting a cold' thing before ovulation and my period.
I also felt much worse when eating a lot of gluten because I couldn't get my iron levels up even with supplements while eating it. Now I eat hardly any gluten I take a good B complex, vitamin D and iron and it has made a bit of a difference with tiredness.

The getting a cold thing I think is peri menopause for me. Everything aches as well.

I also recommend changing your job. I retrained for a career that was far too stressful with two DC with disabilities so I had to give it up after three years for something more flexible.

You deffo need more sleep! I have to have 8hours it I’m exhausted the next day! My commute it only 25mins - if I was travelling 3 hours a day I’d be tired too!

Can’t your partner take a few nights to deal with poor sleeper child so you can have a full nights sleep?

Any way you can work less hours perhaps?

Are you cooking when you get home? If so maybe have some easier pre prepped meals that you just heat up so you aren’t struggling to that as well!!

Do you ever get a lie in at the weekend??

You're clearly not getting enough sleep. I get ill when sleep deprived. Sort out your sons bed time and let some housework things slide and get to bed earlier. Try that for a month and if still not sorted keep pestering your gp.