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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ebay buyer abusive and nasty

47 replies

suziesue45 · 24/10/2020 18:16

Hi,
I sold 2 items to the same person on ebay last week, both vases, so I packaged them very carefully, loads of bubble wrap, extra strength box etc. he sent an abusive message today saying one has arrived smashed to bits, called me all the names under the sun for sending a broken item and demanded a full refund. I contacted ebay and they said to refund and move on but the photos he sent of the vase it was in one piece then another one of it smashed so he has broken it not me or the post. Anyway he's left negative feedback for both items calling me a liar, fraud, narcissistic etc and ebay won't remove it. Ive refunded the 1 item and contacted the royal mail but he's carried on messaging me. Ive been in tears about this today as I'm not in a great place anyway but this has knocked me right down. He is saying I've been deceitful sending a broken item but he sent a picture of it in his hand in perfect condition. Im so angry and really upset but ebay won't help. Any advice please?

OP posts:

CoRhona · 24/10/2020 20:48

I went to the police about one eBay seller who threatened that he knew where I lived

Àll the messages were in the eBay message system so the police and ebay could see the chain and how he went from ok to definitely not ok.

Tbf I have had hundreds of interactions on eBay and only one nutter, which is pretty good odds!!

Op, take a break if you can. It's not us, it's them...

Arthersleep · 24/10/2020 21:03

Are you sure that the vase that is broken is the exact same one? It sounds like a scam to me! I would report. We had a similar thing re selling a phone where they pretended that it had arrived smashed in order to get a refund. The photo that they showed was clearly of an older more scratched up version of the phone we sent. The fact that they are being abusive just shows that they are not your average customer and aren't playing it straight.

spacepoppers · 24/10/2020 21:20

Urgh I had a really abusive buyer once. He wasn't happy about something or other, and I offered a complete refund but he was so abusive and basically demanded that I partially refund about 50% of the items value, when in fact he got a bargain in the first place. His emails were vile, Ebay found in my favour and removed his negative feedback and I blocked him, but the whole thing really upset me for days on end. Good luck, keep on at eBay, as long as you have behaved correctly and done everything you could to be reasonable they do sometimes find in your favour.

Original poster

suziesue45 · 24/10/2020 21:21

I did wonder if he'd bought my vase to replace his own but I cant prove that. Its a very unusual vase, handmade in a pottery in Scotland and he lives in Scotland so I did find that a bit strange.
So many of you are so right about ebay taking the buyers side. I will take a break from it for a bit, I'm away for the school holidays anyway so im looking forward to a break. Thanks everyone.

OP posts:

TattyDevine · 24/10/2020 21:26

I wonder if you might like to share with us what town this lovely gentleman lives in.

SnackSizeRaisin · 24/10/2020 21:27

I Once had a seller get nasty ... I bought a bike for £400 but when it came there were no wheels (had wheels in the pictures and no mention that wheels were not included). Contacted seller who said wheels were in his mother's attic and he couldn't get them (this was years ago so not covid related). I asked for partial refund to cover reasonable cost of buying a set of second hand wheels, tubes and tyres. Seller refused saying it was tough luck. I then opened a case with eBay who immediately refunded the full amount. I contacted seller asking for new invoice for reduced amount. (Although according to eBay would have been entitled to keep both bike and refund - which seemed unreasonable). Seller refused and next day turned up on my doorstep hopping mad! It was a 2 hour drive from their city to mine. Police had to be called as he was so abusive. Seller was a registrar a and e doctor... Goodness knows why he didn't just knock £100 off for the wheels...I mean the 4 hours of his time he spent driving to and from is probably worth twice that!
I ended up keeping both bike and money as advised by police and eBay. But would have happily paid him £300 if he had been reasonable.

TattyDevine · 24/10/2020 21:27

Or a house number and postcode would do - I might have something I'd like to send him in the post...

TattyDevine · 24/10/2020 21:30

Anyone know what I should do with this 4kg bag of glitter?

popcornlover · 24/10/2020 21:31

I wonder if you might like to share with us what town this lovely gentleman lives in

Good point actually. These problematic people seem to forget the fact that the seller has their address. Is it really worth all this over 6 quid? Some people must enjoy being nasty.

Whatamesssss · 24/10/2020 21:51

Another good point to make to ebay customer services is if he regularly leaves negative or neutral feedback. Have a look at the feedback he has left others. This helped when I had an unfair neg feedback.

Nenevalleysigns · 24/10/2020 22:23

Just list some quick sale items (not fragile ones!) and get some positive feedback rolling in quickly.
His Neg will soon scroll way down the feedback page, and if he has form for leaving bad feedback for sellers, your potential bidders will note that.

Sellers just have to absorb these occasional incidents. There’s no recourse through Seller protection, don’t even bother pursuing. I do recommend speaking on the phone or using their webChat rather than emails/eBay messages though. Much better interaction.

Like you I also had 100% feedback until recently, fraudulent claim, replacements sent, buyer still left me poor feedback. He was a bit unhinged, and also arrogant; accused me of being ‘snivelling’ and desperate when I offered several resolves for his issue you can’t reason with unreasonable so I had to just suck up the poor feedback.

In eBay T&Cs small print you will read that they dissolve themselves of all legal imply when it comes to trade disputes. Your photo evidence may work in court, but is not sufficient for Seller Protection.

I’ve been on eBay since 2002 and read word for word OCD-fashion all the T&Cs on both eBay and PayPal (inlcuding PayPal back in the day when it was owned by eBay).
Unless you go down the loophole routes of buying positive feedback to shield your poor feedback, or using eBay’s very kept quiet personal mediation scheme (only available to PowerSeller type accounts) , best to retain your honest trading integrity by just ignoring this buyer and moving on quickly.

The customer is always right.

Londonmummy66 · 24/10/2020 22:49

DOn't use Ebay chat or any form of online interaction withthem. YOu need to actually speak to one of their operatives on the phone and explain about the picture of OK and the subsequent smashed item.

FWIW the easiest way to get hold of an ebay person at the end of the phone is to go into the ebay queries section and say that you have a question about your ebay fees - after one or two hoops you will get an option for them to call you - once you are through to them you can talk to them about anything - it doesn't have to bee fees and I have found their phone operatives really helpful.

torquewench · 24/10/2020 23:19

I once had a buyer who was really abusive, saying his item hadnt arrived ... days after he'd signed for delivery 🤦🏼‍♀️ I was so pissed off at his abuse I did a bit of detective work on him. Luckily, he was from my home town, I found him on fb really easily. Coincidentaly the husband of one of my oldest friends was his postman! So I had a word with him, he remembered delivering it (recorded delivery) and chatting with him about the previous night's football. So Mr Abusive Buyer soon shut up when I gave him details of the conversation he'd had whilst it was being handed over 🤣

Twigaletta · 24/10/2020 23:29

@torquewench

That's fabulous detective work. Love it!

Original poster

suziesue45 · 25/10/2020 08:33

Wow it seems a lot of you have had some pretty bad experiences with buyers too.

He lives in Aberdeen

I never even thought to look him up on Facebook either, I bet I see an identical vase in some pics if he bought it as a replacement.

All for £6 tho, not really worth it. He does sound unhinged and maybe best left alone to let karma takes its course.

OP posts:

CallistoSol · 25/10/2020 08:42

I was badly stung by an ebay/PayPal buyer to the tune of £500. Ebay found in his favour (item was sold as seen, he'd loaded the damn thing himself and then said it was broken a week later). I didnt get the item back either. I no longer use ebay or PayPal, they always back up the buyer. Can you try a different selling platform - preloved, fb marketplace or etsy are all easy to use.

OnDisplay · 25/10/2020 09:05

If you cannot download the photos just do a screenshot.

hedgehogger1 · 25/10/2020 10:46

I won't sell on eBay any more it's not worth the stress

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/10/2020 12:03

His Neg will soon scroll way down the feedback page, and if he has form for leaving bad feedback for sellers, your potential bidders will note that.

I agree with the second part, but however far down his neg ends up, you can still click straight on them at the top of the screen. Like most people, I expect, I tend to ignore the specifics of the 99% of positive reviews and go straight to the negs (and the seller responses), to see if the seller seems untrustworthy, the buyers are out of order/scammers or if they just look like genuine misunderstandings.

Original poster

suziesue45 · 26/10/2020 08:56

Ive screenshot the photos I just can't upload them on here for everyone to see unfortunately. So far he's kept quiet after I told him to leave me along and I'd already reported him, maybe ebay blocked him after I reported him.

OP posts:

mcmooberry · 26/10/2020 09:19

If you get a chance to respond to the negative feedback (which I think you do) just keep it simple eg "Unhinged dishonest buyer reported to ebay" and people will see it for what it is.

Ladybyrd · 26/10/2020 09:30

Try not to let this ratbag upset you. I buy a lot via eBay and if I saw the odd negative comment like that in someone's profile it wouldn't put me off at all. Unfortunately there are some idiots/scammers on there. Even more unfortunately eBay tends to side with the buyer no matter what.

I've had things arrive broken. Of course the seller didn't package up a broken item - as if anyone is going to accept that. He's just an idiot.

I would take it up with your postal service though. Royal Mail packages are insured on a lot of services.

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